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Mortdecai

Mortdecai

Sophistication Has a Name.Jan. 21, 2015 UK106 Min.R
Your rating: 0
8.7 1,289 votes

Video trailer

Director

David Koepp
Director

Cast

Johnny Depp isCharles Mortdecai
Charles Mortdecai
Gwyneth Paltrow isJohanna Mortdecai
Johanna Mortdecai
Ewan McGregor isInspektor Alistair Martland
Inspektor Alistair Martland
Paul Bettany isJock Strapp
Jock Strapp
Olivia Munn isGeorgina Krampf
Georgina Krampf
Jonny Pasvolsky isEmil Strago
Emil Strago
Michael Culkin isSir Graham Archer
Sir Graham Archer

Synopsis

Art dealer, Charles Mortdecai, searches for a stolen painting rumored to contain a secret code that gains access to hidden Nazi gold.

Mortdecai
Mortdecai
Mortdecai
Mortdecai
Mortdecai
Mortdecai
Mortdecai
Mortdecai
Mortdecai
Mortdecai
Original titleMortdecai
IMDb Rating5.5 52,017 votes
TMDb Rating5.3 892 votes

(200) comments

  • GoneWithTheTwinsJanuary 22, 2015Reply

    ”What is that infernal thing on your lip?”

    Despite some visual pizazz, a few adept verbal jousts, and a jazzy
    soundtrack, the vast majority of ”Mortdecai” just isn’t very funny.
    While moments of wordy dialogue betray slivers of clever semantic
    scrambling, the sexual innuendo tires quickly and the action sequences
    exhibit little creativity or suspense. Not silly enough to best ”Bean,”
    not as edgy as ”Austin Powers,” and too puerile to emulate ”A Shot in
    the Dark,” ”Mortdecai” boasts a slice of style but doesn’t offer the
    inspired humor to adequately honor what Inspector Clouseau and his
    already numerous copycats have accomplished before.

    Facing insolvency for his massive government debt, self-proclaimed art
    dealer Charlie Mortdecai (Johnny Depp) begrudgingly opts to sell
    several pieces from his collection, as well as his prized Rolls Royce.
    But when a priceless Goya painting is discovered, and then stolen by an
    international terrorist, Mortdecai is commissioned by MI5 Inspector
    Alistair Martland (Ewan McGregor) to retrieve it. Spying an opportunity
    to make a hefty finder’s fee, the wily art trafficker, along with his
    formidable servant Jock (Paul Bettany) and his canny wife Johanna
    (Gwyneth Paltrow), head across the globe from London to Russia to the
    U.S. on a wild chase to recover the painting and stay one step ahead of
    the multinational gangsters who will stop at nothing to obtain it.

    ”Mortdecai” begins like ”Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom,” minus
    the song-and-dance routine, before mimicking Clouseau and Kato with its
    bumbling detective and martial artist manservant. Evident derivations
    of James Bond, Matt Helm, Maxwell Smart, Derek Flint, Johnny English,
    Sherlock Holmes and Watson, and even W.C. Fields pop up as the film
    attempts to pilfer the best bits from popular action icons and comedy
    personas. But nearly every joke and slapstick sequence succeeds in mere
    moderate hilarity, with many moments stumbling about incompetently or
    coming off entirely unpolished. The most enjoyable scenes are
    borderline decent, though still just short of satisfactory.

    Random asides for unnecessary backstories, cartoonish facial
    contortions, sporadically unconvincing accents, and an overly complex
    heist finale further muddle the predominant focus on humor. And the
    supporting players all drastically outperform the tepid lead.
    ”Mortdecai” attempts too much, tacking on action choreography,
    unfitting sexual material, a playfully quirky love triangle, and
    jet-setting espionage, amidst barrages of fat jokes and gag reflexes.
    The structure, narration, flashbacks, odd details, and colorful
    characters feel as if they were adapted from a book series, which is in
    fact the origination (the imaginatively titled novels by Kyril
    Bonfiglioli, starting with ”Don’t Point That Thing at Me”) of Mortdecai
    and his infatuation with cultivating the perfect mustache. ”What is
    that infernal thing on your lip?”

    The music remains groovy, even when the subject matter turns from the
    underbelly of smuggling, to kidnapping and terrorism, to the sidekick
    finding spare time for frequent dalliances and nymphomaniac
    exploitation. Even instances of torture stay carefree and goofy. Though
    the film deficiently tries to make Mortdecai a comedic sampling of
    every cinematic adventurer and investigator from the last century of
    film, it does get better as the story progresses (from a strikingly
    pathetic start). However, many audiences might find themselves giving
    up on the picture long before it really gets going.

  • SandcoolerJanuary 22, 2015Reply

    Starts of a bit annoying, but it definitely grows on you

    The first fifteen minutes of ”Mortdecai” feels more like an SNL sketch
    than like an actual movie, it’s almost a perfect parody of Johnny
    Depp’s later career. Depp’s character is gratingly tiresome and it
    certainly feels like you’ve seen him play an eccentric, quirky
    bon-vivant with a questionable accent a couple of times too many. The
    constant narration that didn’t add anything useful wasn’t much help
    either. But then, very slowly, you do start to get into the ”new”
    character he portrays here. Charlie Mortdecai clearly borrows heavily
    from his earlier parts and occasionally feels like an auto-pilot job,
    but the script is quite witty and Depp’s dry delivery still does the
    trick no matter how many movies he’s done this way. The plot isn’t very
    interesting, but it’s just there to play second fiddle to the wide
    range of entertaining characters. The best part of the movie though is
    just how a gentleman that appears to be from the Victorian era lives in
    the 21th century with no explanation whatsoever: seeing him act the way
    he does in a world that stopped taking this nonsense a long time ago is
    stupefying, and thus endlessly fascinating. Particularly his scene with
    the garage owner (Paul Whitehouse from ”The Fast Show”!) is the
    absolute highlight of the movie because of how perplexing the
    anachronism is. ”Mordecai” may have the telltale signs of a bomb, but
    surprisingly it’s a highly entertaining movie.

  • bastille-852-731547January 22, 2015Reply

    One of the worst movies I’ve ever seen!

    *** This review may contain spoilers ***

  • george.schmidt ([email protected])January 23, 2015Reply

    Somewhat dreadful vanity piece for star Depp to get his ya-yas out and get in touch with his inner Terry-Thomas/Peter Sellers

    *** This review may contain spoilers ***

  • blakehunter198January 23, 2015Reply

    Mortdecai is a lot of fun!!!

    I went into Mortdecai expecting a terrible film, but I left the theater
    with a smile on my face. This film made me laugh more then I thought
    and it was actually enjoyable. The critics hated this film, and I
    usually agree with critics, but I had a lot of fun with Mortdecai.
    Johnny Deep gives his best performance since Pirates of the Caribbean,
    and his mustache is a lot less annoying then I thought it would be
    prior to seeing this film. I still don’t understand the R rating, since
    there are only 2 f-words in the film, and no nudity. I would love to
    see a sequel since it is my understanding that the book has sequels, so
    hopefully it’ll make money this weekend. I think it deserves a watch if
    you want to be entertained.

  • Yelitza-screenwriting-studentJanuary 23, 2015Reply

    Picaresque Mortdecai: British-style humor, entertaining and silly!

    *** This review may contain spoilers ***

  • CleveMan66January 23, 2015Reply

    Mortdecai is no Jack Sparrow

    In 2003, Johnny Depp took a big risk (and upset a lot of Disney
    executives) by putting a unique flamboyance into a character named
    Captain Jack Sparrow. Any concerns about how Depp played his role
    proved to be unfounded. His genius launched the billion dollar ”Pirates
    of the Caribbean” franchise. A dozen years later, Depp has attempted to
    create another charming, devil-may-care hero in ”Mortdecai” (R, 1:46).
    Well, Mr. Depp, even Jack Sparrow would admit that you can’t with ’em
    all. Depp plays Lord Charlie Mortdecai, a British aristocrat whose
    particular expertise is acquiring and selling art, legally or
    otherwise. But all is not well with Charlie. Somehow, he’s deeply in
    debt to the British government (back taxes, you know) and he’s afraid
    that the affections of his wife, Johanna (Gwyneth Paltrow), may be
    waning, either because of his financial difficulties or his new French
    style mustache, of which he is enormously proud. Worst of all,
    Charlie’s old university chum, Inspector Martland (Ewan McGregor), who
    has been carrying a torch for Johanna since their college days, seems
    to be waiting in the wings to move in and sweep her off her feet. It
    doesn’t help that Martland works for British Intelligence and needs
    Charlie to work his art world connections to find a stolen Goya
    painting. At least Charlie has his lusty, but uncommonly devoted and
    long-suffering manservant, Jock Strapp (Paul Bettany) to help him. Did
    you catch the name of that last character? That’s about the level of
    humor you’ll find throughout this movie. If unfunny vagina and penis
    jokes, along with gagging and vomit… gags, are to your liking, you may
    enjoy this movie. I did not. (Or as Charlie says when confronted with
    undesirable situations, ”I don’t like it. I don’t like it. I don’t like
    it.”) From the film’s very first moments, I found Depp’s accent
    annoying, his acting awkward and the attempts at humor fairly
    humorless. This is Depp’s most embarrassing character since his Tonto
    in 2013’s ”The Lone Ranger” and his worst movie since 2010’s ”The
    Tourist”. I admit that I did rather like the testicle jokes (I mean,
    who doesn’t appreciate a good testicle joke?) and the scene between
    Charlie and his shady and insulting mechanic (Paul Whitehouse) is
    somewhat amusing, but that’s about it for the comedy in this particular
    ”action comedy”. The plot involving several interested parties tripping
    over each to get a hold of that painting because of a very valuable
    secret it holds isn’t bad, but it would have been better suited to an
    actual thriller or a comedy that is, you know… funny. (In fact, this
    movie reminds me a little of 1991’s Bruce Willis art heist comedy
    ”Hudson Hawk” which had a fun plot, funny characters and a delightful
    quirkiness about it. ”Mortdecai” seems to think it has all this going
    for it, but, sadly, does not.) Also, I’m disturbed to report that this
    movie is based on a book called ”Don’t Point That Thing at Me”, the
    first in a series of four comic thriller novels written in the 1970s by
    British author Kyril Bonfigoli. I would be Mortdecaied, um, I mean,
    mortified if any of those other books were brought to the big screen by
    this cast, with this writer and this director. Hopefully, any producer
    considering such a venture will be dissuaded by the poor reviews this
    film is already receiving, to which I add my grade of ”C-”.

  • drdeathforpresidentJanuary 23, 2015Reply

    johnny depp’s version of the love guru

    what a piece of crap – 12 bucks to see this stinker – at first I
    thought he was having a stroke – what the hell are you trying to say? –
    what the hell is up with the mustache obsession? – I guess he really
    needed the money. Well, surprise, you’ve got my twelve dollars. Take
    the money and spend it on acting classes. I have five more lines to
    meet the minimum so I want to mention things that I like: rainy days
    and Mondays, The magic garden theme song, match game with Gene Rayburn,
    and let’s see, anything with Ron Jeremy in it, Shields & Yarnell (yet
    pretty creepy), Black Sabbath especially Sabotage, Sid and Marty
    Krofft, The band formerly known as Flipper and Bozo.

  • cultfilmfreaksdotcomJanuary 23, 2015Reply

    Depp’s Low, and Beyond

    *** This review may contain spoilers ***

  • hamba-1January 23, 2015Reply

    Happy I didn’t pay to see this movie

    After seeing previews I had decided to not add this movie to my
    ”to-see” list but I won tickets for an advanced screening so I went. Oh
    my, I am so happy that I didn’t pay for it. I saw it with a friend,
    both of us over 50 and my nephew and his friend, both 21. We all said
    the same thing, blech. The humor was so sophomoric and the few times we
    laughed, we found they used the same joke? over and over, again maybe
    the only laughs. We were very disappointed due to the cast, not sure
    why they chose to do this. I will admit that I am no longer a big
    Johnny Depp fan as I think some of his appeal has worn off. I always
    have liked Gwyneth Paltrow but I am not sure her selection of which
    movies to star in has really gone downhill. I also have been a fan of
    Ewan McGregor and Paull Bettany, but I again am not sure why they chose
    to be in this movie. I think that maybe, the only character that was
    somewhat funny, was Bettany’s character (Jock) but I even drew tired of
    him by the end of the movie. I definitely wont see it when it comes out
    or buy it on DVD. In My Opinion…

  • aravind6010January 23, 2015Reply

    Went to the movie for Depp, but its an unfunny ”Funny Movie”

    Got a chance to see the screening of this movie yesterday, was bit
    excited to see Johnny but the movie was bit disappointing. The movie is
    about a very famous painting that has the information of a bank account
    number(with millions deposited) written on the back of it gone missing
    and Depp trying to find it out before it goes into wrong hands. It
    should have been a better movie if the comical part have worked well,
    but sadly it dint. There are hardly a few genuine laughable scenes.
    Depp’s mannerism and acting stood out well, and his sidekick does his
    part for a decent comic relief. The most awkward part was the women
    next to me in theater kept laughing for all the scenes and the whole
    theater was looking back to see what she was laughing for 🙂

  • Mek TorresJanuary 23, 2015Reply

    Uninspired Quirkiness

    Mortdecai aims to add another character that makes a parody of the
    British spy genre, such as Austin Powers and Johnny English. The movie
    builds a caricature of the English culture, as everyone acts like a
    cartoon. It’s appealing enough, but despite of its utter quirkiness,
    the movie lacks distinction and even a witty sense of humor. The jokes
    often feel forced, only to live up to its absurdity, but the real
    laughs are occasional. There is a delightful personality within this
    world, but this is a very uninspired mockery that most likely leads to
    nothing.

    The film works at being a cartoon. Most of the characters are
    unreasonable human beings, for the sake of embracing its silliness. The
    characters are easy enough to recognize, each of them are defined with
    a punchline, like Mortdecai being overly classed and overvaluing his
    mustache, while his servant/muscle, Jock, is bounded by his loyalty and
    the habit of having sex with young women, meanwhile the lead Inspector
    has the secret intention of stealing Mortdecai’s wife. The problem is
    these jokes get stale pretty quick and repeating them every ten minutes
    or so doesn’t help anything at all. The only trait that is worth
    repeating here is the witness who insults people politely, but that
    character left the picture too soon. Making these characters broader
    doesn’t benefit anything at all, and rather makes them even more
    difficult to care about.

    The plot never really matters, it’s really all about the characters
    having the tendency of fooling around, but the jokes are so dated and
    it never really shines. This is an R-rated film, by the way, but its
    sense of humor feels like it appeals better for a younger crowd, that
    not even its sexual references can hide it. To be fair, its bright
    images bring things to life, perfectly presents what this movie is
    designed for. The talents are charming and committed to its quirks, but
    how their characters are written rather makes it look shameful. Johnny
    Depp for instance, while he enjoys being the weirdo with a ‘stache,
    looks like he is required to ham it up. The cheap jokes in the script
    is so relied on his common performance of being goofy. It’s more
    exhausting than amusing. The only actor who builds a real character
    here is Paul Bettany, despite that his role is meant to be a typical
    hard-as-nails henchman, his moments with Depp makes them a nice
    memorable oddball pair.

    Mortdecai is wondrously fond at being lighthearted, but if the movie
    doesn’t allow itself to be genuinely funny, it just becomes tedious and
    annoying. There are some nice touches of a fun film here, but the
    staleness strangely keeps the audience from any joy. It is meant to be
    a throwback, but most of it is like a forced nostalgia, but the real
    problem really is the lack of smarter gags, even for a context that
    doesn’t make sense could have at least been creative. And it gets much
    frustrating when even its charismatic talents couldn’t save it from its
    lameness. Even if you have the same generosity as I do towards light-
    toned films like this, Mortdecai just hardly speaks to anyone.

  • Chintan Shah ([email protected])January 23, 2015Reply

    Jonny Deep’s acting is good but not the story

    In the movie Jonny Deep is playing a very royal and very smart role of
    saving the country’s national security and he played is role really
    very good but the I got away from the story. I didn’t liked the story,
    it could have been great as they had the most talented actor and they
    could have done it a very different way and could have grabbed the
    audience’s voice. People may like it may not but overall it was good
    movie. Some of scenes are really good like example small animation
    clips of going from country to country. Some part of the movie just
    nailed it but some couldn’t. Hope you all people watch it and correct
    me on this review if I am wrong.

  • Allen ShepherdJanuary 23, 2015Reply

    Mortdecai Review

    *** This review may contain spoilers ***

  • shakespeare-s-sisterJanuary 24, 2015Reply

    The great Depp show-contains spoilers

    *** This review may contain spoilers ***

  • dariana-roJanuary 24, 2015Reply

    Funny

    Lord Mortdecai is a clumsy art dealer on the verge of bankruptcy with a
    beautiful, smart wife and a loyal servant that gets him out of trouble.

    Is been a long time since I found a comedy worth go see in the cinema .

    I am not a movie critic . For me a movie is good if I don’t regret the
    money I paid on the ticket. This movie was entertaining , I laughed and
    we were not the only ones that enjoyed it , everybody laughed.

    Is not the best movie ever made but is fun.

    If you just want to relax ,go see it. Frequent references to sex and
    sexual organs make it unsuitable for families with children.

    If I had to compare this movie with another it would be The Pink
    Panther.

  • sladethedirectorJanuary 24, 2015Reply

    Critics are Stupid

    It’s not that bad. It should get a 20% and not a 13 on Rotten Tomatoes.
    The first 15 minutes are are too silly, but the rest of the movie is
    pretty funny. Johnny Depp does a good job playing Mortdecai and Paul
    Bettany is good as his man servant and is the best part of the film.
    This film won’t ruin Depp’s career like everyone else says. I don’t
    know why critics are hating on him, Lone Ranger and Transcendence
    didn’t deserve all the hate. His next film, Black Mass will be a lot
    better because Benedict Cumberbatch is in it and it’s a true story, so
    that film will save his career and critics better like it because if
    they give it a 0%, Depp’s career will be ruined. Critics are trying to
    ruin his career and they’re almost succeeding by giving his movies bad
    reviews that weren’t that bad. Don’t listen to the critics, they don’t
    know what they’re taking about.

  • Braindead09January 24, 2015Reply

    This film wont waste your time

    Mortdecai, is a film that harks back to the days of big budget
    outlandish caper misfires from the 1960s like Casino Royal, The
    Assassination Bureau, How To Steal A Million, After The Fox, The Magic
    Christian. This time the producers and writers have got the formula
    right.

    The critics might be gunning for this one and enough people will listen
    and the film will disappoint at the box office. The plot isn’t the most
    original, but the film is snappy and easily breaks the six laughs or
    more rule for this kind of comedy.

    In the UK the film is rated with a 12 certificate and easily pushes
    that certificate for its wonderful abundance of smut and gutter laughs.
    There are many things to laugh at and the transition scenes from one
    location to another are brilliantly achieved.

    The cast push everything to the limit and give strong performances with
    the material they have to work with. Although the film does not reach
    the heights of Austin Powers it does itself proud.

    If you have nothing better to do during Winter 2015, this film wont
    waste your time, highly recommended

  • Steve PulaskiJanuary 25, 2015Reply

    The deplorable Budapest hotel

    Johnny Depp has long predicated his acting career off of doing his own
    thing and not particularly caring what audiences or the general
    consensus of his performances or mannerisms are. Ever since the
    ”Pirates of the Caribbean” franchise, Depp has continuously been giving
    headlining roles in projects with enormous budgets that have either
    barely broke even, went on to be record box office bombs, or simply
    withered away without anything of a pop culture impact. His last few
    films, ”The Rum Diary,” ”Dark Shadows,” ”The Lone Ranger,” and
    ”Transcendence” all have put up meager numbers at the box office when
    compared to their respective budgets, but, for whatever reason,
    financiers and movie studios still funnel money towards Depp’s films,
    with or without any franchise history.

    If his latest picture, David Koepp’s ”Mortdecai,” after the horribly
    negative critical/audience backlash and the catastrophic earnings on
    its opening weekend, doesn’t at least prevent us from seeing another
    lofty, big-budget Depp film in the next two years, I’m convinced
    nothing will. ”Mortdecai” is a $60 million travesty, not including the
    money it took to market such a horrendous cinematic miscalculation.
    Other than to give critics and hardened film fans an early pick for
    their worst film of the year, I’m not particularly sure why the film
    was made, or why and how Lionsgate is going to manage to get a
    franchise out of such a contemptible titular character and a droll,
    misguided story.

    Depp plays Lord Charlie Mortdecai, an eccentric art dealer who can’t
    keep his hands off his curly mustache, a feature he boasts to fall in
    line with the other Mortdecai men of past generations and something
    that serves as an incessant running gag throughout the whole film.
    Obsessed with his mustache, his gorgeous wife Johanna (Gwyneth
    Paltrow), and whilst running into trouble at every turn, Mortdecai must
    travel all around the world to discover a stolen painting said to have
    a code to a lost bank account that is filled with stolen Nazi gold. The
    only one constantly by his side is Jock Strapp (Paul Bettany), his
    trusty protector who does whatever he can to assure the safety of his
    friend, even if that means taking a bullet for the poor soul on several
    different occasions, usually as a result of Mortdecai’s own personal
    error.

    ”Mortdecai” is what I call a ”storm cloud film,” in that something
    about the very first scene, its presentation, its characters, the
    delivery of the dialog, and the first series of unfolding events do not
    add up. Something feels off or unsettled about the production, and one
    begins to fear if they’re in for a mediocre or downright awful event,
    despite quietly hoping the film turns around or gains some sort of
    balance. I kept wishing ”Mortdecai” would go from stumbling to at least
    being able to strut with some control, but such optimism was foolish.
    How could writer Eric Aronson, director David Koepp, responsible for
    such great films as ”Premium Rush” and ”The Trigger Effect,” and
    producer Johnny Depp be a part of something so catastrophic and
    desperately unfunny? The film functions in such a way that leads one to
    believe Aronson took down a list of humorous scenarios to trap his lead
    character in before constructing them and robbing them of any and all
    things funny.

    Depp traverses one continent after another, going from one
    brightly-colored setpiece to the next, delivering an endless bout of
    redundant dialog that is definitely something but that something isn’t
    the least bit funny. It’s exhaustive and aggressively silly, proving
    time and time again that if you make a film about a character who
    cannot take himself seriously, in turn, audiences will not be able to
    take the film seriously and dismiss it on-sight. Being that the film is
    constructed so much around Mortdecai, his personality, and his ability
    to either say the darnedest thing or find himself in every sticky
    situation imaginable, once one discovers that the titular character is
    a poorly-constructed, unfunny bore, the film has already crashed and
    burned because it put so much of its reliance and weight of its success
    on said character.

    The storyline here is enough to drive you mad, not because it’s
    confusing, but it’s restless and often interrupted by a legion of
    weakly-written supporting roles from the likes of great actors like
    Olivia Munn and Ewan McGregor. The film zig-zags around enough that any
    clean, linear form of a plot is lost immediately, and the fact that
    constant silliness is being paraded around screen from Depp’s character
    or an anti-climactic, buffoonish car chase shreds any kind of interest
    at all in the story at hand. At this point, the film has effectively
    given us an insufferable character lead character and a disorganized
    mess of a plot that can’t help but interrupt itself; once you have a
    film destroy its two pioneering elements, all you have left are
    aesthetics, and so very few films have gotten by on those principles
    alone. The aesthetics of the film are beautiful, with cinematographical
    work by Florian Hoffmeister shining through, as this is a candy-colored
    affair; the fact that ”Mortdecai” puts little emphasis on environments
    and I’m commending the cinematography shows how desperate I was to try
    and find something on screen that interested me. This is one of the
    worst, most grating cinematic experiences I’ve had in recent memory.

  • DarkKnight1954January 25, 2015Reply

    Sucks Hard and Long!

    Please do not be taken in by the handful of reviews that are comparing
    this stinker to films by Peter Sellers or Terry Thomas, because it does
    not come close to being on equal footing as those artists. Those
    reviews hailing this film as epic film making are likely studio frauds
    and fakes. To be truthful it can be compared to another project that
    Mr. Depp has some knowledge of and that is there is now another
    candidate besides ”Plan 9 From Outer Space” for being considered as the
    worst movie ever made. If Ed Wood Jr. were still alive I almost believe
    he would even admit this film is very bad.

    You want to waste your money on a very unfunny movie be my guest, but
    you will have no one to blame but yourself because you have been
    warned! At least I did not have to pay to see this as I had won two
    tickets from my local radio station and I suspect the only way to get
    people in the seats is by giving away tickets, but honestly the
    producers really need to pay people to see this.

  • black_dream_lilyJanuary 25, 2015Reply

    *Spoilers* This movie is EXCELLENT – Ignore the Depp Haters

    *** This review may contain spoilers ***

  • steve beard ([email protected])January 25, 2015Reply

    Mildly Funny

    *** This review may contain spoilers ***

  • davidgillrtcJanuary 25, 2015Reply

    Horrible in Every Way

    I have only walked out of any theater for one other movie my entire
    life, ‘The Cable Guy’ starring Jim Carry.

    Much like that movie, the first forty minutes of this movie featured
    similarly clichéd and canned acting and writing.

    I read in another review that they liked the cinematography. However, I
    found this movie too unimaginably trite and horribly produced to look
    beyond the immediate to actively look for anything enjoyable.

    I went in expecting an enjoyable ride, wanting to like this movie. That
    did not happen. This movie took 40 minutes of my life – please, don’t
    waste your time or money watching this thing at a theater.

  • Zdislav_DorklehovenJanuary 25, 2015Reply

    Uncalled-for and Unnecessary…

    I wonder what studios are thinking when they release movies like
    this… other than greed and desperation.

    A drunken playboy can’t take care of his life or control it, just know
    how to waste the money of his family fall in love with a women that’s
    not accepted by his family and for that reason the family will stop
    giving him money.

    Ahmed Al Kiremli Opinion About The Story The story is not that bad but
    the director, actors, script made it so bad.

    About The Director The director involved so many unnecessary scenes to
    make the movie more silly, the selecting of actors specially the main
    actor Russell Brand was a disaster, the script wasn’t helping that much
    but the main actor made it worse.

    About The Actors Russell Brand very silly and his accent is annoying,
    artificial and not believable. Helen Mirren was acting well but I don’t
    know how she’s accepting to act in such a movie, and Jennifer Garner
    was OK and some scenes the acting looked artificial.

    About The Script Very bad.

    About The Sound Mixing Nothing difficult.

    About The Cinematography Simple nice picture.

    About Movie Soundtrack & Music Nothing interesting.

    Ahmed Al Kiremli Rating 3/10

    Is It In Ahmed Al Kiremli’s Must Watch List? No

    Is It In Ahmed Al Kiremli’s Great Movies List? No

    Depp should have taken on someone in his own weight class, instead he
    took a nosedive.

  • pressboardJanuary 25, 2015Reply

    In the tradition of Connoisseur mustaches everywhere

    *** This review may contain spoilers ***

  • kingcasey_iiiJanuary 25, 2015Reply

    What in the H?

    Do not watch this film. I was expecting British dark somber gallows
    humor. I did not find any witty Brit-com like material. (ie. John
    Cleese)….Was expecting more dark humor from Deip…

    Mordacai (Deip), is a British Aristocrat who deals in antique art. He
    is bankrupt and force by his former school rival Mi5 officer to recover
    a legendary stolen work of art. He uncovers a sinister plot. NOT FUNNY,
    not witty. Tries to mimic stereotypes of ”Modern British” culture.
    Hipster automobiles, hipster 60’s Brit-Invasion rock, tries to
    duplicate raunchy Brit humor. Deip really needs to salvage his career
    from the brilliance he once enjoyed before he tried to make ”filler”
    movies.

    The only redeeming quality of this film is a cameo for Jeff Goldblum.
    Hopefully he can slowly rebuild his portfolio again. But Deip perhaps
    we’re witnessing the twilight stage of his career? Goldblum plays a
    wealthy art collector. Similar to his role in Grand Budapest Hotel..

    Morecai showed promise, perhaps a spoof of British spy movies, and the
    spectacular effects and fan fare make it seem like an epic film… It
    is not sadly.

  • 3xHCCHJanuary 26, 2015Reply

    Unctuous and Unfunny

    Lord Charles Mortdecai is an oddball, art-loving British aristocrat who
    has taken fancy to sporting a quirky small handlebar mustache, like
    generations of Mortdecai men before him, much to the displeasure of his
    sexy wife Johanna. Because he has fallen into tough financial times
    because of tax problems, he is desperate for a scheme to earn the
    needed dough.

    One day, an Oxford art restorer working on a rare Goya painting was
    murdered. Inspector Alastair Martland sought the help of Mortdecai in
    locating and recovering the lost painting. From there, Mortdecai gets
    drawn into a madcap adventure which involved ruthless international art
    aficionados and their goons who were interested not only in the
    painting, but also the secret code written behind it that supposedly
    led to a great Nazi treasure.

    Star Johnny Depp is coming from three straight films that did not do
    well in the box office –”Dark Shadows” (2012), ”Lone Ranger” (2013)
    and ”Transcendence” (2014). I am afraid this film will not really break
    this streak of bad luck. He really looked like he was trying too hard
    and hammy to make this weird character likable. Some jokes may float
    because of Depp’s inherent charm; but sorry to say, a lot of it turned
    out rather embarrassing to watch.

    The only supporting actor who was given a really notable role was
    Depp’s frequent co-star Paul Bettany as Mortdecai’s impossibly loyal
    manservant/driver/bodyguard Jock. He and Depp make a great odd team
    together. Too bad the jokes about him also get old as they get told
    over and over too many times.

    Gwyneth Paltrow plays Charles’ opinionated and independent wife
    Johanna. Ewan McGregor plays the Inspector Martland, Charles’ old
    friend in college who was and is still infatuated with Johanna. The
    lovely Olivia Munn had the unfortunate role of being the nymphomaniac
    daughter of a Los Angeles art collector played by Jeff Goldblum. These
    stars play basically one-note characters not given too much to do.

    On paper, the story may have sounded like it could have been a lot of
    fun. However, as it was executed on screen by director David Koepp, the
    final product did not always hit the right notes. The jokes (many of
    them off-color and vulgar) were falling flat and coming across as
    forced at several points (many were repeated to the point of
    annoyance). On the other hand, I did like the cartoonish way they
    showed Mordecai’s traveling from city to city, old-fashioned as it may
    seem.

    Mortdecai was based on a book trilogy written by English author Kyril
    Bonfiglioli in the 1970s. This film was adapted from the first book
    ”Don’t Point That Gun at Me” published in 1973. Because of the poor
    result of this first film installment, chances are the other two books
    will not see cinematic life anymore. 4/10.

  • magfergusonJanuary 26, 2015Reply

    Pirates of the Caribbean all over again

    The title says it all.

    The character Depp is playing, and around this character all the film
    is centered, basically, is the same kind of cowardly, treasure seeking,
    playful bonvivant as Jack Sparrow. Only less so.

    The playfulness feels semi-forced, just the same as the supposed
    aristocratism. There were a couple moments in the movie where you could
    chuckle, and the basic premise sounds like something that COULD be
    quite fun. Only, it isn’t, not in this movie.

    Mortdekai is neither bad enough, nor good enough, nor forceful enough,
    nor in fact he DOES anything much in the movie apart from rolling away
    from danger and shooting his butler every now and then.

    Rather a disappointment.

  • WeshubbJanuary 26, 2015Reply

    You’ll want your 2 hours back after viewing

    I only gave this film 2 stars for the talent that was in the film. Mind
    you the film wasted it dramatically, and I know that the cast was much
    more capable. The director didn’t do his job as he should, or basically
    the direction was trying much too hard for laughs. It was unevenly
    paced and it almost ranks with another horrible film, that I won’t
    mention, from mid-1980’s. All in all, the director needs to go back and
    learn the basics of film making and I hate to say it, but the cast was
    wasted on this project. The director should stick to writing and
    producing and stop the nonsense of this kind of film.

    Don’t waste your time viewing this film. You will not like yourself
    after viewing it.

  • Figgy66-915-598470January 26, 2015Reply

    A jolly good wheeze!!!!

    26 January 2015 Film of Choice at The Plaza Dorchester Tonight –
    Mortdecai. Johnny Depp plays Lord Mortdecai an upper class fool who
    bumbles his way through life, and whose most important possession is
    his moustache……simple because every Mortdecai before him has had
    one. Owing £8,000,000 in taxes to the British Government he is forced
    to locate and secure a stolen painting. This film is nonsense, quite
    ridiculous, full of complete film flam and although a little slow to
    get going, completely and utterly marvellous. Johnny Depp was a joy to
    watch as he over acted the part of the ridiculous Lord Mortdecai, with
    his sock garters, his velvet jacket and his cane……..a very similar
    character to Captain Jack Sparrow in many ways, but without the
    dreadlocks and the boots. I understand the Americans did not care for
    this film but I guess we English can cope better with someone taking
    the mick out of our upper classes. Reminiscent of some of the old Peter
    Sellers films, I thought that overall this film was a hoot and a jolly
    good wheeze!!!!

  • busywriterJanuary 26, 2015Reply

    Harmless & entertaining: good fun for a good laugh.

    After thoroughly enjoying this flick, I’m baffled by the negativity
    being thrown at it. This is a wonderful romp through silly moustaches,
    exaggerated British accents, movie history paradigms, and a plot that
    stitches detective + memoir + farce to fashion a frothy concoction of
    gags that lead you through a fast-paced, hyped, art theft mystery.

    Johnny Depp gives us a fully-formed character without any screen
    deviation, making us believe in Mortdecai utterly – even as he sputters
    and groans his way through life.

    I think that as long as you agree to fly through the movie the same way
    the commercial jets do – being fast, reckless and animated – you’ll
    have as much fun with this jaunty romp as I did. If you were expecting
    anything other than farce, you went to the wrong movie. Please *look*
    at the poster for this – *notice* the moustache – understand the
    premise a little so your expectations are in line with the projected
    entertainment.

    There’s probably a good case to be made that today’s audience is
    unfamiliar, thus unappreciative of, farce. Or gags for that matter. In
    my opinion, this movie is a worthy example of the farcical family –
    with slamming faces instead of slamming doors, and exaggerated vocal
    mannerisms (British, Italian, Russian) instead of the usual musical
    bedrooms and sexual innuendo and antics of 60s and 70s farces.

    I waited the full run-time to find a crack in Depp’s mannerisms or
    accent, with no result. His performance is flawless, excepting the
    ridiculous (ridiculously perfect that is) gap between his two front
    teeth. The obvious blacking between the teeth is just another touch of
    excellence or exuberance in this tale of a frustrated adventurer who
    really wants to stand-up-and-be-a-man but finds it painful to be
    noticed. Depps’ vocal shrugs and swallows and moans lend depth to his
    character’s divided motivations. The visual equivalent of Depps’ vocal
    mannerisms is the wholly ridiculous Mortdecai moustache. It pairs
    wonderfully with his accent and vocal gymnastics to paint a certain
    kind of British class buffoon we’ve almost seen before, almost but not
    quite. Take the eccentric Terry-Thomas (including the famous tooth gap)
    and add a pinch of one part Colonel Blimp, a touch of ”Witness for the
    Prosecution” Lawyer, and a measure of St. Trinians ”flash Harry”, mix
    well, throw out all the sensible bits, and what you’ve got left is the
    basis for Mortdecai.

    And it needs to be said, the chemistry between Gwyneth Paltrow and Depp
    that fizzes and bubbles and turns to right angles in this romp mirrors
    the chemistry between the characters perfectly. Right up to the last
    gag (pun intended). Paltrow owns the screen when she’s on it. And moves
    like a predator cat in some scenes. Her character is perhaps a tad
    under-developed, but Paltrow makes her look very, very appealing
    showing us why Mortdecai is devoted to her.

    Maybe it’s the American reaction to British humour that is sinking this
    well-intentioned romp, because the throw-away lines come one after the
    other, the slapstick supports the plotting, and the action moves
    forwards at a good pace. I’m not sure why America is so ready to accept
    a weird, apparently drunk, swash buckling bumbler pirate from Depp but
    then turns it’s back on a scathingly excellent American interpretation
    of a British impersonation of a weird, seemingly hapless, swash
    buckling British bumbling aristocrat.

    If you enjoy a movie that has multiple, overlapping references – visual
    as well as physical slapstick – and some zinger dialogue… then you’ll
    enjoy Mortdecai. Just don’t ask it to be anything other than what it
    is, some fun meant to brighten the cinema doldrums between the major
    seasonal blockbusters of Xmas and summer. Go. Laugh.

  • pol_nr13January 26, 2015Reply

    I think you people just don’t get it…

    I just watched this movie with no expectations, but for Depp. I heard
    everyone here hate it and I just can’t imagine why.

    One of my theories is that you didn’t get what this movie wants to be.
    Entertaining. Yes, believe it or not, but is wasn’t supposed to be a
    complicated deep movie with soft humor and a lot of subtle jokes… hell
    no, this movie wants to make you laugh after a long day at work and
    succeeds perfectly. Depp and his mustache were hilarious. And the other
    unique and mixed characters made this movie a great comedy. Critics are
    always boring, they expect a lot from something, but maybe, just maybe,
    they miss the point sometimes. I think this is the case. So, I
    recommend this film to everyone who wants to have fun, who wants to
    escape their routines and have a laugh. Believe me, you’ll thank me.

  • Ayal OrenJanuary 26, 2015Reply

    Johnny Depp hams it through the roof, the walls and everything else

    This film is nothing more than a silly spoof sending barbs at Brits,
    Americans, international terrorists, the Russian mob and whatever else
    comes to mind. There’s not a single character in this movie that has a
    3d personality. And if anyone considers for a split second to take this
    nonsense seriously the hammiest acting ever is there to prove that this
    couldn’t be serious. Johnny Depp is topping the cast in this
    department, and obviously has the time of his life fooling with the
    silly farce. It’s about as silly as casting Rowan Atkinson as a super
    spy. So if you can enjoy a film that regards itself as nothing more
    than a silly ploy to pass 100 minutes or so, this one is exactly your
    cup of tea. I had fun watching it, but I was expecting precisely what
    the film was offering.

  • Tad PoleJanuary 26, 2015Reply

    MORTDECAI is a spoof of a type of movie . . .

    *** This review may contain spoilers ***

  • Jeff RollinsJanuary 26, 2015Reply

    The first terrible movie of 2015

    Ladies and gentleman, it only took three weeks at the box office, but
    we officially have our first terrible film of 2015: the inert, impotent
    art-heist comedy, Mortdecai.

    Mortdecai stars Johnny Depp as the insufferably cheeky rogue at the
    center of the film and I often found myself wondering, ”What did we,
    the movie-going public ever do to you, Johnny Depp, do deserve such
    abuse?” I never got my answer but I did get my fill of Depp hamming it
    up like a prize pig at the 4-H Fair. Depp’s Charlie Mortdecai is an
    unholy marriage of Ralph Fienne’s M. Gustave from The Grand Budapest
    Hotel (mustache and all) and… Mr. Magoo, the blind, dithering old man
    who wanders his way in and out of trouble by way of happenstance and
    dumb luck. This obnoxious combination of otherwise hilarious and fun
    characters (on their own and not in the hands of Johnny Depp) is at
    best devoid of any charm and at worst a constant reminder that you
    could be doing something, anything more productive than watching
    Mortdecai.

    Things I’d have rather done than watch Mortdecai:

    Take apart all my IKEA furniture and then put it back together. Watch
    nine hours of Steve Harvey reacting to contestant answers on ”Family
    Feud.” Open a credit card with an enormously high interest rate. Eat a
    live rat.

    But I can’t put all the blame on Depp here. Despite his erratic
    performance that fluctuates from over-the-top madness to tediously dull
    (often times in the exact same scene), a good amount of scorn has to be
    placed on director David Koepp (Stir of Echoes, Secret Window) who
    clearly has no idea what to do with this story. Koepp’s style of
    direction is akin to putting on a tailored suit and then slipping into
    a pair of house slippers. There’s a visual style to his sets and
    characters, but once the pieces start moving, everything goes out the
    window. There are only a few action sequences in Mortdecai but all of
    them look atrocious, almost as though you were watching a poorly
    rehearsed local theater troupe on opening night. It’s embarrassing
    considering the pedigree of performers that make up this film and also
    Olivia Munn.

    I compared Depp’s Charlie Mortdecai to Ralph Fienne’s character in The
    Grand Budapest Hotel earlier not only because it’s an accurate
    comparison, but because Depp is seemingly doing a bad impression of the
    dapper, profane concierge. I’d love to know how much of Fienne’s
    performance, if any, Depp (or Koepp) may have seen during the time
    between Grand Budapest’s production wrap in March of 2013 and
    Mortdecai’s first day of filming in October of that same year. I’m not
    making any kind of wild accusations, only pointing out that the
    similarities in performances is uncanny save for the Depp’s complete
    inability to endear himself to anyone in my screening.*

    Keeping in mind that Mortdecai is based on a four book series of
    British novels written in the 1970s, perhaps this kind of story – and
    humor – is just not suited for American audiences in 2015. We’re meant
    to laugh at Charlie Mortdecai’s quasi-effeminate, sometimes-incompetent
    gentleman rogue, but it’s so hard to get a grasp on the character’s
    motivations and rationalizations that you just end up throwing your
    hands up and saying, ”Whatever!” And even after I threw out any sense
    of emotional investment in the characters or the story, Mortdecai still
    failed to deliver any kind of satisfying experience that even MOR
    comedies like last year’s Happy Christmas delivered in spades. It’s
    frustrating to come down so hard on a comedy, especially when it’s
    clearly trying to be funny (I sincerely hope you like mustache jokes),
    but Mortdecai is such a complete failure across the board that I see no
    other option other than merciless slaughter via movie review.

    When it’s not busy humorlessly mugging for the camera, Mortdecai has
    its nose to the grindstone in an effort to bore audiences to tears.
    It’s a dreary, sleepy comedy caper whose only redeeming qualities are
    its quick pace and a few fun scenes with a game Gwyneth Paltrow taking
    the reins for a moment. Early in the film, Ewan McGregor’s police
    inspector Martland asks himself, after realizing his new case will
    require the help of his nemesis and art expert Charlie Mortdecai, ”Why
    did it have to be art?” No worries, old boy. It’s not.

    * I was the only one in the theater.

  • ancorablueJanuary 26, 2015Reply

    It IS Funny, it’s just not written for the U.S. sense of humour.

    Mortdecai, the movie IS actually very funny. The thing is, it’s not
    written for U.S. audiences. Subsequently most American viewers just
    don’t ‘get it’. It’s a really silly movie, but it’s fun and funny and
    if you ‘get it’ you will find yourself very amused and you will laugh.
    It was enough for me to want to see it because Paul Bettany is in it,
    but add to that Johnny Depp, Ewan McGregor and a small part by Jeff
    Goldblum and it’s got a whole lot of great actors. It’s a shame that
    people who don’t understand it give it such a poor review. If you
    understand or have had exposure to UK style humour you will likely
    understand this movie. If you do ”get it” you’ll laugh and have a good
    time. It’s just not made for the typical U.S. sense of humour.

  • MovieMustardJanuary 26, 2015Reply

    Mortdecan’t

    The actors are doing a fine job with a somewhat juvenile script.

    I presume neither Depp nor Paltrow actually read the script else they
    would have let this one pass by. I think maybe the British censors
    should have given this film an 18 rating for its sheer banality. Sorry
    to disappoint.

    This could have been a very good movie without the sexual innuendo and
    slapstick element which is so yesterday. At least the language wasn’t
    too bad, although they needed to use the f-word for some unnecessary
    reason.

    The UK has given the movie a 12A rating but I wouldn’t allow my
    children to view it.

    I think I’ll make a note of the writers and director’s names so that I
    can avoid their work in the future ( subject, of course, to others
    reviews ).

  • seshtJanuary 26, 2015Reply

    Purile atrocity, considering all the talent involved

    *** This review may contain spoilers ***

  • laila attallaJanuary 27, 2015Reply

    amazing

    just came back from watching the movie… it was amazing and so damn
    funny… people who are bashing Johnny Depp, obviously did not watch
    the movie..no one said it is a blockbuster kind of a movie, but still
    it is a light comedy… I encourage people to go and see it and I
    promise they will not be disappointed.

    the theater was packed with people, everyone was laughing and giggling
    the whole time… the movie is so hilarious..and it did certainly put
    me in a better mood.. I have no idea why critics are against the
    amazing Depp ..He can do any role he wants and nail it.. they are
    really unfair to this movie…it deserves better reviews

  • RforFilmJanuary 27, 2015Reply

    Mortdecai wants to join the ranks of comedic oddball characters like Mr. Bean and Clouseau, but comes off as embarrassing

    I love eccentric characters whether they are the silent Mr. Bean, the
    bumbling Inspector Clouseau or even the wealthy treasure hunter Scrooge
    McDuck. Like any good story about an outcast, they are deemed stranger
    then the rest of the world and tend to use that to their advantage to
    find a gold mine or crack the latest case in France. I too consider
    myself an eccentric with my oddball quirks and strange interests
    including amusement park history and animation. You could say that
    everyone has a little eccentric inside of them, but only few would dare
    express it as their full personality.

    Cinema is a large home to this breed of person. Often you will find
    these people associated with comedies as they make it aware that the
    characters behavior is more out of place, even if the world they live
    in is exaggerated or romanticized. Though I would love to see a drama
    about an oddball, these try to explain some mental illness like that
    their sick or something. This is something that I wish more movies
    would try to cut away from and simply explain that this is your hero
    and he’s this way just because. We get another quirky eccentric with
    Mortdecai.

    Lord Charlie Mortdecai (played by Johnny Depp) is a pompous, wealthy
    art dealer who tries to portray himself as classy, comes off of a goof.
    He lives in a large home along with his man servant/muscle Jock Strapp
    (played by Paul Bettany) and his wife who he always declares as the
    love of his life Johanna (played by Gwyneth Paltrow). A Goya painting
    is stolen from a woman that was working on restoring the artwork. So
    this puts inspector Alistair Martland (played by Ewan McGregor) on the
    case. He has a thing for Johanna, so he contacts Mortdecai for his
    services, knowing that this would keep the eccentric busy while he
    get’s cozy with the wife.

    Mortdecai’s investigations unveil that the painting was once taken by
    Nazis and may have codes on it that lead to a lost Swiss bank account.
    He also finds the painting stashed in his car, leading the police to
    believe that Mortdecai himself took the painting. He travels to Los
    Angeles to engage in an art transaction with Milton Krampf (played by
    Jeff Goldbloom). Johanna and Martland follow suit as they may be closer
    to finding the real thieves then Mortdecai is.

    Johnny Depp has had some trouble in recent years with Dark Shadows, The
    Lone Ranger and Transcendence all bombing. He was hoping that Mortdecai
    would be his big comeback and start a new franchise. I was hoping this
    would work, but this just may be his lowest point. While the character
    may be funny on paper, Depp’s portrayal seems more like a bad improv
    piece then a genuine performance. I can tell he’s trying his hardest,
    but no other actor could have saved it from it’s shockingly unfunny
    script. It seems like Depp simply got stuck with a character that no
    one else wanted to play.

    I have no clue for who this movie was made for. Certainly not for
    children as this has an R rating. Not for teenage fans of Depp that
    will find this too boring. Not for a mainstream adult audience that
    will see this as too highbrow. Not for a highbrow society as they will
    see this as too silly. I’m convinced that this was made just so that
    Johnny Depp can have fun with both Gwyneth Paltrow and Ewan McGregor.
    Congratulations Mr. Depp, because you just got a project that is
    unfunny, boring, crude yet not crude, and even manage to take down two
    great actors with you.

    I’ll give this half a Goya painting out of ten. What should have been a
    match made in heaven, Pink Panther-like movie will only stand as an
    embarrassment to a really talented individual who should be ashamed of
    himself!

  • RyanCShowersJanuary 28, 2015Reply

    Only Resembles a Movie

    Back in September when the official Mortdecai twitter (under the
    username @PartTimeRogue) page went up, I received a message from the
    verified account, thanking me for following it. The message was written
    as if Johnny Depp’s character in the film, Charlie Mortdecai, penned it
    himself. I thought to myself, ”Wow, the public relations team is going
    out of their way to make this movie a hit.” In concert with the amusing
    trailer, Mortdecai created an illusion of a movie with a unique
    personality that could be as enjoyable it looked ridiculous.

    But in fact, Mortdecai only resembles a movie, for it is revealed to be
    an unorganized amalgamation of a different interpretations, colliding
    into one production. Every member of the Mortdecai team is living
    inside their own idea of what screenwriter Eric Aronson’s script means,
    and the problem is the direction, the acting, and the production values
    are never quite on the same page as Anderson, thus failing uniting as a
    whole. As a result, the film suffers from a tone that ranging from a
    sluggish eccentric comedy to overblown action movie. If director David
    Koepp would have been able to reign everyone into what his vision of
    the film looked like, which I assume is a throwback to or restoration
    of the black comedy genre in mainstream cinema, Mortdecai would still
    be a horrible movie, just a bit less sickening.

    From the first scene, the radiant color and soft lighting design
    profusely illuminates the visually alluring picture. The way the color
    reflects off the ornate set design and snazzy costumes creates a
    luscious effect. At the very least, Mortdecai has a pleasant appearance
    when presenting its ruinous creative substance. The characters are, as
    expected,thinly developed in the screenplay, but Gwyneth Paltrow at
    least earns a bit more respect than her other actors in maintaining an
    graceful presence amongst the film’s disorder. She brings intelligence
    to Johanna, even if she does not challenge herself with going above and
    beyond the limitations of the screenplay. Combine the look of the film
    with Mortdecai’s leading actress and that will account for the single
    best thing one can take away from from the project: Gwyneth Paltrow’s
    glimmering beauty painted from side-to-side in the scenes the film
    chooses to give her. (A film should feel in despair when the only thing
    it has going for it is its attractive female actor.)

    Mortdecai approaches its storytelling in the most extreme ways a black
    comedy revival could. The scattered screenplay is incoherent and sinks
    with its inconsistent character motivations and dialogue that’s so
    overwritten that you ponder how this writer was able to create such
    lengthy complicated sentences. (There’s a strange amount of sex jokes
    and literal gagging that feel unfit for the false impression of
    sophistication of the story and its actors.) The skittish directing
    does not alleviate these screenplay flaws. Koepp’s film is inadequate
    at being funny, clever, and charming, and he’s eagerly trying to
    incorporate all of these traits into his work. The man can barely
    set-up shots correctly, let alone provide proper computer generated
    imagery in his ambitious zooming in and out of locations as the
    characters change settings in the story.

    ”Where has Johnny Depp gone?” may be the most intellectually
    stimulating question Mortdecai asks. Now that Captain Jack Sparrow has
    been tarnished with the newer, superfluous installments of the Pirates
    of the Caribbean franchise, it’s almost as if Depp has given up
    entirely. Mortdecai may be a career-low for him, and if you have seen
    his output since Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street, you
    would know that’s a bold statement.

    He acquires a shrill accent which ends up being as stupid as the
    stationary expression on his face for the film’s duration. He frolics
    around as the Englishman like a rodent, and never convinces us of this
    man as an entertaining, farcical character—not a human being, Mortdecai
    does not even aim that high. A galling effort which is like hefty lump
    of coal that will weigh down his career for years to come, personally
    from an acting perspective and guilty by association for being credited
    as the star of this clutter.

    Grade: D

  • Thomas WestJanuary 28, 2015Reply

    Keep expectations VERY LOW, and it won’t be that bad

    Mortdecai- I can’t say I was disappointed just because my expectations
    were extremely low. These are the kinds of movies that make me wonder
    who the hell would actually buy the script and turn it into a feature
    film. This film is the most stupid, silly film I have seen in a year. I
    knew walking into the theater that this movie would be goofy, but I
    just hoped it would also be funny. I guess it was funny enough so I
    can’t say I wasted my time. With a terrible plot and worse dialogue,
    the only thing that makes this film funny is Johnny Depp.

    I wish Johnny Depp will actually be in a decent film one of these days.
    The last good film he was in was Public Enemies which was in 2009. That
    is six years since his last good film, how long will it be until he
    finds an actually good film to act in? Whatever the case may be
    Mortdecai was not the answer to his problem.

    I know this is in the slapstick comedy genre of film, but that doesn’t
    excuse the terrible plot or the dialogue. Watching this movie, I
    couldn’t help but think a twelve year old wrote the screenplay. What is
    even worse is a six year old could’ve followed the film and even
    guessed the ”oh no” moments of it. Someone should’ve told the director
    that just because this is a goofy type of movie doesn’t mean it can’t
    have an interesting plot.

    Except for Johnny Depp, the acting in this film was below-average at
    best. They never really got into their characters and because of that,
    I could never really believe they were who they were and because of
    this, I could never really focus on the film. Johnny Depp was the only
    one that saved it. I am not saying he deserves an award for it, but at
    least I could tell he was giving his best effort and it definitely
    benefited the movie. I still think this film should never have been
    made, I firmly believe no one could have played Charlie Mortdecai
    better than Johnny Depp.

    If you really want to see something funny, see if there are any other
    comedies out first. If you can’t find anything better, than Mortdecai
    will not be a terrible choice to see in theaters or on DVD.

    For more of my reviews, go to my website at reviewsbywest.com

  • bbickley13-921-58664January 28, 2015Reply

    America’s attempt at British comedy, falls short.

    A quirky comedy you’d except from Johnny Depp and like the others he
    has done is not that good. Yet, he never gives up.

    The movie is good for a few giggles here and there but it’s not laugh
    at loud funny.

    I think with the talent they had in this flick, Mortdecai could have
    been so much better.

    Johnny Depp seems to be enjoying himself on the set at least. I seen
    him do better, I’m recalling most recently, his performance in the
    Kevin Smith movie, Tusk where his quirky since of humor is done in a
    smaller douse rather than driving the whole movie, as in the case of
    Mortdecai.

    It worked best for me in The Pirates of the Caribbean Franchise, but I
    feel the real culprit is the fact that the movie seems formulated to
    American audiences in fear that we would not like the humor’s original
    British source.

    Ewan McGregor was underused in this flick as the slick MI:5 agent who
    needs Mortdecai’s help to solve a murder.

    It’s been a while since I’ve seen Gwyneth Paltrow give a performance
    worth while. This is not one of those times. It just seemed like a
    decent paycheck for her.

    It was awesome seeing Jeff Goldblum in the movie. Definitely a
    highlight when he appeared as a shady art buyer.

    Paul Bettany gave my favorite performance as the sexual deviant man
    servant, Jock Strapp. He should have been on the poster with a mustache
    rather than Oliva Munn, who also got underused.

    I hope Johnny Depp was happier with the movie than I was. The small
    giggles I got where not worth the price of admission.

  • Roxanne StarkJanuary 29, 2015Reply

    Believe it or not, Depp’s acting saves this film…

    *** This review may contain spoilers ***

  • jeffpar52January 30, 2015Reply

    Did I watch the same film?!

    I was moved to write my first ever IMDb review because of the amount of
    derision heaped on this film by mainly American reviewers. This
    mountain of vitriol almost stopped me from going to see the film; how
    glad I am that I stuck to my decision to see it! Johnny Depp, for me,
    is always good value, and is an actor who seems to be unafraid of
    challenging not only himself but we, the audience, too. His portrayal
    of Charlie Mortdecai was based not so much on Ralph Fiennes’ M.Gustave,
    but more on characters from The Fast Show and various Upper Class Twits
    from the classic Monty Python sketch. Indeed, as a massive fan of The
    Fast Show (he appeared in the final episode) I’m fairly sure that Mr
    Depp had some influence in securing the comic genius of Paul Whitehouse
    to play Spinoza. After reading the host of bad reviews I entered the
    cinema with some trepidation, but was rewarded with a well-written,
    smoothly-directed, fast-paced concoction which ticked plenty of boxes
    for me; I did start to wonder if I was watching the same film that some
    other reviewers watched. Perhaps the humour was just ”too English” for
    some of our friends in the ”far colonies”! Please don’t be put off by
    the large number of bad reviews; Mortdecai was well worth the price of
    entry!

  • Neil WelchJanuary 30, 2015Reply

    Thoroughly enjoyed it

    *** This review may contain spoilers ***

  • MoviesReviews101January 30, 2015Reply

    Painfully Boring

    *** This review may contain spoilers ***

  • Matthew Luke BradyJanuary 30, 2015Reply

    Box Office Flop number 5

    Oh my god January is almost over…thank the f***ing lord, but first I
    have to review this peace of cinematic trash With Johnny Depp in it, oh
    boy.

    The story to Mortdecai is about the British Mi5, his impossibly leggy
    wife and an international terrorist, debonair art dealer and part time
    rogue Charlie Mortdecai (Johnny Depp) must traverse the globe armed
    only with his good looks and special charm in a race to recover a
    stolen painting rumored to contain the code to a lost bank account
    filled with Nazi gold.

    Oh Depp why do you keep doing this? you had it all man. The money, the
    love from the fans, the Oscar nominations and your spot light. Now look
    at you. Flop after flop at the box office, very low rating on Rotten
    Tomatoes and me slowly losing faith in you, and this movie is the extra
    nail to the coffin of Depp’s career because this is by far the worst
    movie of 2015.

    Johnny Depp in this movie was pretty much playing Captain Jack
    sparrow..again. Nothing much to say about his performance because he’s
    just doing the same performance over and over again. Probably his next
    movie I bet I’m going to say the same thing that his just doing Jack
    Sparrow again. Sorry Johnny but you really need to get out of that role
    of a gay pirate.

    David Koepp is the directed of this movie but he’s better known for his
    screen writing for such films has: Jurassic Park, Spider-man, Panic
    Room and Mission Impossible. But has a directed he’s…okay, not bad,
    but not amazing, his writing in some films can come off not so good as
    well. Now he directs Mortdecai and it’s painful to say that the
    directing in this was pretty terrible and it’s like he wasn’t even
    trying in this, but everyone in this movie seems like they do not give
    a bull about. No wonder it floped hard at the box office.

    I hear a lot of critics and people even on YouTube saying that the
    movie has some little chuckles in it, but that didn’t happen here with
    me. I was in complete silent bored out of my mind of this dreadfully
    bland, hollow of a movie. From start til finish I felt embarrassed
    watching this movie, I really was.

    I’m sorry but I couldn’t find a thing I liked in this movie, not even
    Gwyneth Paltrow or Ewan McGregor couldn’t save this movie from being
    even close to being alright.

    Mortdecai should be best descried has a embarrassment of movies. This
    movie is worthy of a Razzie Award, and to the people who disagree with
    me or think this movie isn’t all that bad has I’m putting it out then
    god I wish I was you right now.

  • j_smith_7January 30, 2015Reply

    I’m afraid I was very very drunk…

    *** This review may contain spoilers ***

  • verinibusinessJanuary 31, 2015Reply

    Insulting.

    As an independent film director, it makes me sick that films like these
    are still being funded and made by incompetent, crappy
    writers/directors. There is so much directorial talent out there that
    don’t have the expenses to make it big, whilst bad directors like the
    one who made this film continue to bring out and recycle rubbish
    through Hollywood. Nothing to say about the film… its just awful, but
    I will continue since I need a minimum length of 10 lines to submit to
    review. Don’t EVER watch this movie, even if its free on TV, you will
    want you 1-2 hours back….

    0/10

  • Callum-Earle72January 31, 2015Reply

    Wow…

    On the 31st of January 2015, a great tragedy befell upon me. Being an
    avid cinema goer and comedy lover I decided to go and watch Mortdecai,a
    seemingly alright film. How wrong was I.

    Mortdecai was an abomination. Annoying and unlikable characters, an
    uninteresting story, and cheap laughs. All the factors that a good
    comedy should not have. With such a star studded cast and high budget i
    can not believe how far off the mark this film was. The following 3
    points will explain to you why I despise this film.

    Jokes: Please, the key to comedy is not repetition. I refuse to believe
    that the writers deliberately put in the amount of ”Gag at the
    mustache” jokes that I saw. I think I laughed once during this movie.

    Transitions: I’m talking about the plane scenes here. Overused and
    boring.

    Johnny Depp: Annoying accent, Annoying character, Annoying Jokes,
    Annoying Depiction of Upper class England. Just annoying. This movie
    has single-handedly slit the throat of Johnny Depp’s already dying
    career.

    To conclude, do not pay to watch this movie. It will hurt both your
    brain and your wallet. If you do decide to see it, get a lighter ready;
    your going to want to burn you ticket.

  • Peter WormingtonJanuary 31, 2015Reply

    Hilarious film!!!

    Went to see this with high hopes and was not disappointed. Had the
    whole cinema in fits of laughter throughout the entire film! We simply
    cannot understand the negativity some users appear to have towards this
    film. Not for a moment did we, or anymore else as far as I could tell,
    regret coming. A must see in our opinion.

    Johnny Depp’s acting was top-notch as usual, and he carried us through
    the story every second.

    I don’t usually watch a film more than once, but this one we have to go
    see again.

    Good job, Depp.

  • SushiStoner103January 31, 2015Reply

    Pink Panther + Johnny English + Dogshit = Mortdecai

    Going into a cinema, expecting something so bad its funny is fine.
    Laughing ”at” the movie, having a good time with a few friends is fun.
    But mortdecai is below low, making fun of it would be complimenting it.
    Its an insult to film and johnny Depp’s career. Mortdecai is your
    average spy comedy with countless cliché’s and a mixture of pink
    panther and Johnny English, except it is so poorly written and acted.
    Johnny Depp’s character was exceedingly nauseating and repulsive. All
    the respect he has gained form previous films are thrown out of the
    window thanks to this movie. I have literally lost count of how many
    times my palm physically came into contact with my face.

    The slap stick humour and general jokes were imprudent and repetitive.
    But despite the tiresome jokes the audience in my cinema were actually
    laughing, which made me quite suspicious, at one point I honestly
    thought they were paid actors to make the film look good. During the
    end of the film it turned into a Scooby-doo episode, all the plot holes
    were revealed but they were so stupid, they weren’t predictable they
    were just completely irrelevant and contributed nothing to the movie. I
    must admit this film had potential a great cast and infrequent times
    were I did laugh, but the cast failed miserably and the potential was
    never made. I demand a refund.

  • Jonathan MillhouseFebruary 2, 2015Reply

    A Fantastic Comedy and a Great Movie

    ”Mortdecai” was hilarious from start to finish. Critics have been a bit
    too harsh with this one. Full of cleverly-written lines, this movie is
    one I will continue to watch time and time again. Johnny Depp plays the
    Mr. Bean-type role magnificently, and the chemistry between he and
    Paltrow was great as well. His ”sympathetic gag reflex” had be laughing
    throughout the entire movie. Johnny Depp receives quite a bit of
    unnecessary hate when it comes to his movie. I for one enjoy each of
    them. Mortdecai has now joined the ranks of Edward Scissorhands and
    Sweeney Todd in my list of favorites. If you enjoy goofy comedies from
    the likes of Mel Brooks, you will truly enjoy Mortdecai.

  • brickbatsFebruary 2, 2015Reply

    A worthy successor to Peter Sellers’ Inspector Clouseau !

    If you’re a fan of physical comedy, outrageous humor, bad accents and
    funny-looking detectives – in other words, if you enjoyed the classic
    Blake Edwards-Peter Sellers’ Pink Panther movies, you should enjoy this
    surprisingly funny comedy.

    Depp plays Lord Mortdecai, a stupid aristocratic art dealer who
    consults for MI-5 on a case involving murder and a missing Goya
    painting. The MI-5 is headed by his one-time rival for the affections
    of Depp’s wife, who can barely tolerate Mortdecai. Depp’s ”manservant”
    is of course smarter, sexier and stronger – he handles the physical
    work for Mortdecai, much as Kato did for Inspector Clouseau. Lord
    Mortdecai fumbles and bumbles his way through the case with both
    arrogance and stupidity, as well as a ridiculous mustache which he
    views as a new asset to his (non-existent) skills.

    Silly fun. A throwback. Great comic timing. Go ahead, relax and laugh.

  • djhank213February 3, 2015Reply

    Why?

    I found it hard to dislike this film but didn’t like it either. I
    couldn’t understand the point of it. I think it defines the word
    ‘bland.’ Johnny Depp continues to look like an American practicing a
    funny English accent in front of his friends. It might be funny for a
    short while if you like that kind of thing but it isn’t long before
    you’re thinking , ”Ok, that’s enough now.” They say the American comedy
    is in decline and maybe they like to piggy back onto British humour for
    a leg-up. This didn’t work. Even though it looks like Paul Whitehouse
    was giving Depp lessons. Perhaps if Whitehouse had played the lead role
    it would have been a funnier, though less lucrative, film. I like
    Gwyneth P so it was good to see her, whats-his-face who played her
    besotted ex boyfriend was good, and Jack’s was a well done character.
    It was so full of clichés – stolen art, Russian gangsters, a love
    triangle and , oh my god, sword fencing ( he is an aristocrat after
    all) that the script writers need to take a good look at themselves. It
    was a lighthearted film, no harm in that these days, and had a few
    amusing moments, so I rate it 5/10.

  • Tony Barton ([email protected])February 3, 2015Reply

    Not to be taken to seriously

    Mortdecai is an action comedy starring Jonny Depp and directed by David
    Koepp, The movie opens in a Hong Kong Casino, during a meeting between
    Mortdecai (Jonny Depp) and a Gangster known as Fang (Junix Inocian).
    Art dealer Motdecai is there trying to sell a rare vase to Fang. The
    meeting doesn’t go to plan however, as Fang reminds Mortdecai of a
    transaction, in which Mortdecai sold Fang an item for £3000000, only
    the item was in fact worth £1000000.

    Fang decides to settle the score by removing one of Mortdecai’s
    fingers, but Mortdecai’s man servant, Jock (Paul Bettany), beats up
    Fangs, henchman before he can do it. Mortdecai and Jock are then forced
    to flee for their lives as a gun fight erupts.

    Mordecai arrives home and finds himself taking an ear bashing off his
    wife Johanna(Gwyneth Paltrow), who also finds that Mortdecai’s new
    moustache makes her feel sick, every time Mordecai kisses her, which
    leads to some rather funny scenes. A women named Bronwen (Norma
    Atallah) is shot in the back with an arrow whilst working on a
    painting. The culprit then climbs through the window and steals it,
    only to be knocked out by another thief. Inspector Martland (Ewan
    McGregor) visits Mordecai and tells him of the theft and informs him
    that his main suspect is a criminal named Emil Strago ( Jonny
    Pasvolsky). Martland asks Mordecai for his assistance in retrieving the
    painting. Mordecai and Jock agree to help on one understanding, they
    get 10% of the proceeds after the painting is sold to an American
    dealer named Milton Krampf (Jeff Goldblum).

    Whilst Mordecai and Jock are away, Johanna does some detective work of
    her own and discovers that the painting is far more valuable than first
    thought as it apparently contains codes on the back that lead to large
    stash of Nazi gold. It’s fun and games all the way in this pacey action
    comedy, that sees Jonny Depp in fine form and well supported by Paul
    Bettany. The blend of action, comedy and a sprinkling of slap stick
    makes Mordecai one of those must see movies.

  • DarkVulcan29 ([email protected])February 3, 2015Reply

    If Johnny Depp is having fun, then we should too.

    Mortdecai is one of those films that you’ll love it or hate it. I
    really was entertained by it, the movie itself is a fun ride, it never
    tries to be anything more. Johnny Depp’s funny performance is a cross
    between Cary Grant and Peter Sellers, like he does with the Pirate
    films, he milks it for all it’s worth. Unlike his last two films, this
    was entertaining.

    The movie is comedic mystery, it has some share of suspense, but it
    never wavers from that it his still a comedy. Paul Bettany is also
    quite good has Mortdecai man servant. I clearly see they are both
    having fun, there almost like a comedy team. All the other supporting
    cast like Gwyneth Paltrow and Ewan McGregor. Don’t go in this expecting
    much, just a fun time.

  • Pumpkin_ManFebruary 4, 2015Reply

    Awkwardly Funny!!!

    *** This review may contain spoilers ***

  • fkeoitwtFebruary 4, 2015Reply

    moved

    *** This review may contain spoilers ***

  • petarmaticFebruary 5, 2015Reply

    Why did I waste my time on this film?

    The only reason I saw this film was that in my local movie theater they
    had technical problems with showing American Sniper and in another
    movie theater other film Messi which I liked to watch was showing too
    late. So, since I felt so much that I wanted to go to the movies today
    I opted for this film. What a mistake that I made it! This film looked
    like some kind of cartoon for the adults.

    Character development was like from the 19th century and did not fit
    well into the modern framework. Plot was so silly that the 5 year old
    could follow it. All together I strongly recommend that you do not
    waste your time on this film. Just forget it!

  • Marikar HaliliFebruary 5, 2015Reply

    Hilarious; don’t believe those hipsters and their high standards

    Seriously, I can’t believe how upset people are with this movie; I
    couldn’t even breathe anymore as I walked out of the theater after
    laughing a lot! Yeah the jokes are stupid, the acting is over-the-top,
    the story isn’t that brilliant and there isn’t any deep sh*t plot twist
    but really, who watches comedy and expect something that will make them
    contemplate about life??? In terms of entertainment, this movie
    certainly delivers… Unless of course you’re a frigging hipster who
    can’t appreciate any movie that doesn’t f*ck your brains out. Come on,
    Birdman for instance received a lot of good feedback but it’s not that
    funny — it’s just deep. And artsy. It seems the trend these days; if a
    movie’s storyline is plain enough for the layman to understand, these
    know-it-all guys will say it’s horrible, waste of time, blah blah…

    There’s a lot of movies far worse than this and I don’t understand all
    the hate on this one; probably because it stars Johnny Depp (who was
    amazing as always, by the way) and they just expect too much. Whatever!
    Loosen up, guys!

  • FlashCallahanFebruary 5, 2015Reply

    The Red Faced Panther……..

    *** This review may contain spoilers ***

  • Andrew MillerFebruary 8, 2015Reply

    A very enjoyable movie

    *** This review may contain spoilers ***

  • Robert W. ([email protected])February 8, 2015Reply

    I hope that smell of crap doesn’t permeate all of 2015…

    *** This review may contain spoilers ***

  • Steve ReillyFebruary 12, 2015Reply

    Missed the mark

    Unlike Johnny Depp’ efforts at ‘camping it up’ in the Pirate movies
    where he absolutely nailed it, his attempt here just missed the mark.
    He gave us such great performances in ”The Lone Ranger”, ”Dark Shadows”
    and ”Alice in Wonderland” just to mention a few. But with this he put
    me in mind of a small-town theatre company actor having a bash at an
    upper crust English accent. I was disappointed because I really like
    Johnny (he is on my A list). Ewan McGregor and Gwyneth Paltrow’s
    efforts were good and did not make me cringe, but overall, except for a
    few chuckles here and there, the whole movie was like some low-grade
    romp from the 1960s. I will give Johnny another chance but I’m sorry I
    wasted my money on this one. I’ll go 5 out of 10.

  • Ian JohnsonFebruary 13, 2015Reply

    This film had its laughs, but had quite a few problems.

    Mortdecai is a live-action cartoon, comedy about an art dealer who
    typically deals with criminals. He is forced by the government to find
    a stolen painting. The accents and personalities of the characters were
    all exaggerated to the extreme. There were clever travel transitions
    and many of the characters are unique and memorable. Johnny Depp’s
    character was a little unlikable for a large portion of the film and
    his performance was sometimes cringe-worthy. Mortdecai’s body guard was
    my favorite character in the film and was the source of most of the
    comedy that worked. A lot of the comedy lacked proper timing,
    unfortunately. The plot took a long time to actually start. There was a
    portion of the film just after the half way point that will lose you
    for about ten minutes. Don’t worry because the characters will just
    fill you in through lazy exposition. The finale of the movie was when
    the plot finally got its footing and where all of the character
    development took place. This is not a good movie, but it isn’t a really
    bad movie either. Ignore physics and logic for most of the action
    scenes because as I said before, this is a live-action cartoon. People
    will get shot and be OK with it, people will die in funny ways and
    coincidences happen all of the time. This isn’t a bad thing if you
    enter the theater expecting it. When viewed as a cartoon it is an
    acceptable movie.

  • quincytheodoreFebruary 16, 2015Reply

    Mortdecai, though blessed with colorful cast and flowery script, is a poor man’s Pink Panther

    There’s an alarming trend of steady decline in quality of Johnny Deep’s
    movies. He performs to his strength as quirky characters, but his
    recent movies haven’t been optimal even with the help of talented cast.
    Mortdecai is probably the worst of the bunch, an insipid action comedy
    that fails in creating sophisticated humor, needlessly complicated and
    above all, dangerously boring.

    Mortdecai (Johnny Deep) is a shady art dealer who allegedly dabbles on
    illegal activities. After several mishandled dealings he suffers quite
    a significant loss, which pushes him near the brink of bankruptcy. At
    the same time an art heist occurs, Mortdecai is serendipitously
    involved in the case. He uses this chance to slither a profit out of
    the situation. The premise is set for intellect crime with a touch of
    comedy, but it accomplishes neither as Mortdecai is too placid to be
    taken seriously and too dull to be amusing.

    The movie also brings a strong line-up of actors, such as Paul Bettany,
    Ewan McGregor and Gwyneth Paltrow. However, the material makes their
    characters one dimensional. Script often invests too much on particular
    scenes or rehearses the same joke far too many times, while skimming on
    development of the case. It makes the pacing plods on some areas and
    leaves plot holes on the rest.

    Dialogues are intricate, yet these suave words might not work and may
    even come off as shallow. It relies heavily on vulgar tone, but its
    funnier moments are from slapstick, much thanks to Deep and Bettany.
    Deep’s staple appeal is from his exaggerated motion, he does try to
    personify Mortdecai but the character itself is too corny and lacking
    charisma. Paul Bettany is a flexible actor, bulk of his previous
    characters consist of brooding men, but he looks comfortable in a more
    relaxed persona even moonlighting as comedy relief.

    It’s hard to recommend Mortdecai, the movie, just like the character,
    is not as charming and clever as it thinks it is. Audience can probably
    get a few laughs if they set their expectation really low, but that
    shouldn’t happen with such assembly of capable stars.

  • Nicole of ArchonCinemaReviews.comFebruary 16, 2015Reply

    The terrible, awful, no good, really bad MOVIE. ugh!

    To those who say ”Don’t knock a film until you see it.” Well, I saw
    Mortdecai and it warrants all the negativity! Adapted to the screen
    from the Kyril Bonfiglioli series of the same name, Mortdecai is a
    wonky crime thriller rife with bad accents, bad acting, and painfully
    boring plot.

    An eccentric but apparently debonair art dealer Charlie Mortdecai is
    brought on to recover a stolen painting. Simple enough? Nope. Mortdecai
    has more problems than he knows what to do with – Russians, Mi5,
    international terrorists, and did we mention the painting might have a
    code that leads to Nazi treasure.

    Oh how the mighty have fallen. Gwyneth Paltrow, Johnny Depp, Ewan
    McGregor and Paul Bettany are all acclaimed actors, so there is
    absolutely no excuse for this horrific train wreck of a film. All I can
    say is I reaaaally hope the actors involved were paid well considering
    the negative impact this film will have on their career. Depp does
    nothing but quickly rattle of lines, speeding through every scene,
    desperately trying to get to the film’s conclusion as quickly the
    possible, all the while with this stiff grin plastered on his face. And
    the rest of the actors are similarly effective as they do their best
    impression and paltry attempt at ‘acting’.

    Bad, Mortdecai is just bad. The characters are boring and uninteresting
    and impossible to care about, despite their eccentricities – a
    considerably marvelous feat for writer Eric Aronson, and that is
    decidedly not a compliment. Aronson manages to make one of the least
    funny comedies out there, I don’t even know where the humor was
    intended to be because it is such a ludicrous mess and so unfunny. I
    reserve this film for one of the methods of torture, and wouldn’t wish
    it on my worst enemy.

    Let Archon Cinema reviews put it this way: There was a reason we barely
    heard anything about Mortdecai before it was released and it seemingly
    came and went abruptly – by the end of the year we will easily be able
    to say Mortdecai was one of the worst films of 2015. And to you
    Lionsgate: You owe me 90 minutes of my life that you stole from me!

    Please Check out our website for all the reviews of recent releases.

  • Ryan PrinceFebruary 22, 2015Reply

    Honestly not bad, but goofy.

    -Mortdecai (2015) movie review: -Mortdecai is a comedy(ish) film that
    sees Johnny Depp as Mortdecai, an exaggerated art dealer who is tasked
    with finding a valuable painting that was stolen. And of course, antics
    and odd scenarios ensue.

    -As poorly as the film did at the box office, I feel like the bad rep
    the film has is lightly uncalled for after seeing it. Doesn’t make it a
    great film or anything, but it was not too bad.

    -The story is very classic, goofy detective inspired, which was
    interesting and offered a few twists, but was really nothing new.

    -The pace was alittle too fast I think. It moved quickly and could have
    taken its time in a few places.

    -I’ll get this out of the way before acting: The entire film is super
    goofy and cheesy. Like cartoon goofy. It did match the pace and story,
    but if you are not into films that are intentionally silly, yeah.

    -The acting is goofy. I also feel like nobody, from Johnny Depp’s weird
    character with a mustache, Ewan McGregor’s cool, yet dumb detective, or
    Gwyneth Paltrow’s mellow wife character. So nobody really needed to try
    that hard because of the goofy characters and typecasting.

    -The characters are all shallow, but fun to watch.

    -The music is really repetitive, but I thought it was fun and fitting.

    -The film as a whole was not too funny, but had a few moments that did
    really make me laugh. It had some moments that surprised me with
    entertainment value as well, although a few that did not.

    -Mortdecai is also apparently rated-R, but does not need to be, in my
    opinion. It has next-to-no violence, no actual nudity, some suggestive
    dialogue, and I think 2 F-words. Sounds like a strong PG-13 to me.

    -Mortdecai is fun and entertaining, but super cheesy and goofy. If you
    are into fun, goofy, spy-ish comedy-ish movies though, I will say
    Mortdecai is worth watching on Netflix!

  • stargate-764-364207February 22, 2015Reply

    Light-hearted Comedy

    Why so much bad press over an American movie filled with British humor?
    The negative reviews apparently all come from people in the united
    states… weirdos.

    I saw this movie last night; and liked it. For some reason, the
    children that seem to make up the American audience these days, seem to
    think that it’s a stupid movie. Why? A few days ago, I saw Kingsman:
    The Secret Service, the film adaptation of a comic mini-series, and
    thought it was excellent. Look at the rating for Kingsman; it’s way
    higher than this film. Yet, it seems only because Mortdecai is mostly
    VERY British humor; different than what yanks are used to.

    I’m glad I saw Mortdecai; I left the cinema feeling pleasant and
    entertained. Give it an honest try, it’s not junk.

  • Jan KalinaMarch 2, 2015Reply

    ”Jock? Will everything be alright in the end?”

    Jock’s response for most of the time is ”I don’t know, sir”. Just like
    my answer to a question, whether the film will be good based on
    watching the trailer. Well, it turns out once again that I should trust
    Johnny Depp and expect a good film because that is how Mortdecai turned
    out.

    Mortdecai revolves around a rogue art dealer Lord Charlie Mortdecai,
    struggling to keep his fortune and estate. While being away from his
    wife he decides to grow a moustache, which becomes an annoying
    characteristic to everyone in his presence. Meanwhile a woman working
    on a restoration of a Goya painting is killed and Charlie as an art
    expert is called for help to retrieve the painting. Many different and
    strange parties are after this painting, because it is believed it
    contains a way to find lost Nazi golden treasure.

    Even though I have given a plot summary there is not much plot in the
    film, but don’t be alarmed. If you recall the Peter Sellers starring
    The Pink Panther comedies then you might remember that those films also
    had minimum plot. The basic premise was there only to serve as a
    creator of situation, a mere thread upon which the scenes could be
    hanged. The film struggles at first to find its style of humor, but it
    succeeding at bringing back the aesthetic and style of the Pink Panther
    films which results in a very pleasant enjoyable comedy. That is all I
    wanted from this film.

    The second part of the film, when it shifts into USA is just laugh out
    loud funny from start to finish. The film suffers from predictability
    though. I figured the location of the painting before the characters
    did. It is indirectly implied so that made it easier. Another problem
    is this film has an R rating but it doesn’t really need one. Yes, there
    are two utterances of the F-word but otherwise it is a film suitable
    for the whole family (Considering that your kids are teenagers now in
    order for them to get all the jokes). There is nothing explicit so the
    best decision in order to get more money at the box office would be to
    obtain the PG-13 rating since lot of Depp’s fans are teenagers as well,
    now unable to see the film.

    I have always enjoyed the master/servant dynamic in films ant TV
    series. It usually present in British culture. The best example would
    be Blackadder where this master/servant relationship is utterly genius.
    So it goes to say that best character is not the titular character but
    his servant Jock. He steals every scene he is in and Bettany and Depp
    have amazing chemistry and play off each other quite nicely. Paltrow
    and Depp make a nice duo as well despite not sharing much time
    together. For example the gag reflex during kissing caused by the
    moustache is a brilliant joke.

    Geoff Zanelli, a frequent Koepp’s collaborator never disappoints but I
    feel like he can’t ever top Secret Window score which is simply
    magnificent. The end credits song simply titled Johanna, which is a
    result of a collaboration of Zanelli, Mark Ronson and Miles Kane is a
    sweet song. A fitting end to cap this film. I have ended up listening
    it on repeat. It is a song made in a way in which they are not made
    anymore. An old fashioned tune that soothes my ears.

    To point out something interesting I noticed Charlie is not much of the
    hero of the story in the sense that he is not controlling what is
    happening around him. He is manipulated by almost everyone – his wife,
    his servant, Goldblum’s art dealer, the MI5. It is very interesting to
    have a main character, who is absolutely in no control of his destiny.

    Mortdecai is a great enjoyable comedy for everyone who simply wants to
    have fun, relax and have a good time. Despite its predictability it
    delivers a great enjoyment, it delivers a comedy like which is not
    being made anymore.

  • happy_hangmanMarch 15, 2015Reply

    An Absolute Shower

    *** This review may contain spoilers ***

  • peterbreisMarch 17, 2015Reply

    Spoiler Alert – Stinker Ahead!

    How could a movie with this many good actors be such a stinker!

    Johnny Depp should be particularly ashamed, but I guess enough money
    passed hands for him to not care.

    It was excruciating to have to sit through almost 2 hrs of accents the
    equivalent of fingernails scraping on blackboards and what, just
    guessing, were supposed to be ‘jokes’.

    This would have been a vehicle for someone of reasonable comedic
    talent, a modern day Peter Sellers perhaps, but the direction, script
    and editing were always going to doom this dud.

    Avoid at all costs.

  • maclockApril 2, 2015Reply

    Comedies are supposed to make you laugh, yes?

    This was a deeply unfunny film. I had expected more given the cast, but
    even they couldn’t save this stinker in the end.

    Part of me had hoped that my fellow IMDb reviewers had gotten it wrong
    this time and that Mortdecai was an undiscovered gem. Sadly, that was
    not to be the case. Don’t get me wrong, a certain class of people,
    people who are very easily amused, particularly by the antics of
    moronic English characters a la Mr. Bean, may well find Mortdecai to be
    hilariously funny. I know there were a handful of fools howling in the
    theatre in which I watched a screening of this film. At what they were
    laughing, I’ll never know, but laughing they were. Mortdecai is not
    recommended viewing for anyone with either a brain or decent taste in
    cinematic entertainment.

  • Tony Heck ([email protected])April 7, 2015Reply

    Tried to be a cross between a grown up Pink Panther mixed with Mr. Bean and ended up just being annoying.

    ”I am embarking on a very dangerous escapade in which I may not
    return.” A painting that may contain a code that leads to Nazi gold has
    just been stolen. There is only one man who can be trusted to find it
    and return it, Mortdecai (Depp). I’ll try and be gentle with this one.
    I am not a Johnny Depp fan. I really liked Blow and I think his best
    movie is Donnie Brasco. His whole Edward Scissorhands character is
    starting to get old to me. With that in mind I sat down to watch this
    expecting weird and strange. What I found was that this was very
    strange, even for Johnny Depp. Lately it feels that he does weird
    movies just for the sake of doing something weird. This one tried to be
    a cross between a grown up Pink Panther mixed with Mr. Bean and ended
    up just being annoying. All that said though, fans of Johnny Depp may
    like this but I found it a struggle and didn’t really laugh once. The
    movie felt forced and weird for the sake of being strange. Overall,
    pretty much what I expected. I give this a C-.

  • carlosformula1April 16, 2015Reply

    Not marvelous but an amusing film

    Despite beginning in a boring way (I didn’t laugh for more or less the
    first ten minutes), when you realize what is the film about, it
    improves a lot. From this point to the end, you laugh many times. Plot
    is a bit absurd, but it is what you expect about it, as it is a comedy,
    a parody of another films. Johnny Depp plays a role which is very
    similar to what we’ve seen before in another films, but that doesn’t
    impede you to laugh with him. I would like to highlight the role Paul
    Bettany plays. He is the center of most of the funny situations of the
    film, with some quotes you will repeat even after the end of the film.
    As a summary, I have to say that it’s not an incredible film, but
    you’ll have a fantastic time in the cinema if you chooses it.

  • susandisantoApril 17, 2015Reply

    LOVED IT…. (u sad h8rs)

    I enjoyed this pacey multi location caper and Depp in his Terry Thomas
    Character with Ewan Macgregor’s understated British MI5 guy. Lots of
    precious comic moments. I didn’t think Gweneth Paltrow was well cast as
    a best choice for a major role with them. She is too tall.and skinny
    and always too self aware for this kind of camp comedy. The only thing
    that really rankled was the screenplay expression Depp uses in L.A: ”it
    grosses me out”… its too much of an Americanism…Maybe an idiom
    which had been adopted in UK popular culture, but too colloquial and
    not credibly upper-crust-Brit enough for this character. Simply,
    ”That’s gross”, might have been character- appropriate. Alternative
    synonyms like, How unsavoury; nauseating; disgusting; it makes one want
    to chunder, would not have interrupted the credibility of Depp’s comic
    archetype.

    I really don’t understand all the bad reviews. Depp really gets this
    Terry Thomas British charming/bungling campness and plays against Ewan
    so well. He is also reminiscent of the 60s Gomez Adams actor of the TV
    Adams family series.

  • Phil HubbsApril 17, 2015Reply

    Mortdecai

    *** This review may contain spoilers ***

  • stephendaxterApril 17, 2015Reply

    WARNING – DO NOT waste your time with this abomination…. that is all

    Mortdecai is the next ‘comedy’ starring Johnny Depp as you guessed it;
    Mortdecai, with Gwenyth Paltrow and Paul Bettany in supporting roles.
    Now at first, this movie sounded like it had some potential, with its
    cast and synopsis not being all that bad but after the dreadful first
    trailer my interest in seeing this movie dropped tight down to almost a
    zero. This movie was entirely unfunny, and just incredibly boring and
    stupid and failed to entertain me in any way that it should have. Not a
    single joke worked, not a single one, for a comedy to do that is an
    achievement that this film greatly earned. Johnny Depp was just
    portraying that stupid over the top character that he plays in pretty
    much every film nowadays. And it just doesn’t work, this style of
    character he keeps on portraying just is not at all funny anymore it is
    just painful to watch. That word right there sums up this movie;
    painful, it was just a painful waste of time i can never get back. The
    story was nearly impossible to follow or enjoy because you just did not
    care about anyone or any stupid painting and the problems they have to
    overcome.

    I really don’t want to talk about this pile of garbage anymore so i’ll
    just say that it has a shitty plot, shitty directing, shitty
    performances, and a total of zero funny jokes and that is all you need
    to know. Also where did the 1.2 come from you may ask? Part of it was
    feeling sorry for Paul Bettany that he was apart of this disaster
    (because he was the least bad out of everyone) and partly because of
    the joy it gave me when the final credits rolled. – 1.2/10

  • miesnekawalkiApril 18, 2015Reply

    Waste of everybody’s time

    *** This review may contain spoilers ***

  • danew13April 18, 2015Reply

    Worst Johnny Depp Film…an Unfunny Embarrassment

    *** This review may contain spoilers ***

  • kellyleaveckApril 18, 2015Reply

    Very decent and funny movie!!! Don’t listen to spoiled haters.

    Wow I can’t believe some of the ridiculous reviews out there. The first
    review says ”One of the worst movies I’ve ever seen!” Are you freaking
    kidding me? So whats one of your favorite movies Turks in Space? Many
    other people gave it 1 or 2 stars showing that you clearly don’t
    understand how a rating system works. The audio and picture of the
    movie are perfect making it a 3 at the very least. But it’s absurd to
    even give it a 3 as is it far more clever and hilarious than lets say
    Vampire’s suck.

    This movie was great. Both Depp and Paltrow did excellent with English
    accents, and Depp’s mannerism’s and nuances seemed authentically
    English and of someone who actually took some time to learn about the
    role. So ya if you where hoping for a half billion dollar CGI action
    movie you’re going to be disappointed.

    But if you appreciate witty banter, clever scenario’s, an intriguing
    plot, random slapstick injections, with just a twist of dry English
    humor, and public drunkenness, then this may be for movie for you.

  • ggeyer-88890April 18, 2015Reply

    I really liked it!

    I started the movie with no expectations so I wasn’t disappointed.
    ”critics” are always over analyzing movies and giving bad reviews.
    Johnny Depp was incredible and so was his ”man servant” Paul Bettany.
    The film seemed a little rushed especially the ending, but overall it
    was good enough. I can’t say I laughed out loud a lot, but it was
    definitely funny and enjoyable. I wish movies like this could be two
    hours long instead of cramming everything into one hour and a half. In
    my opinion Depp gave one of his best performances. I can’t imagine why
    someone would give it less than six stars. There was never a dull
    moment and the action scenes were very entertaining. I got the
    impression that the cast had a great time making this movie. I bet it
    was a lot of fun for the cast and crew members.

  • jameskalenasher14April 18, 2015Reply

    Holy….

    I do not know for sure what was going through my head when Mortdecai
    began. Thoughts of hopeful ignorance, hoping for some redeeming
    qualities at the least, and maybe a few funny jokes along the way. Let
    me be clear on this; I set the bar very low for this film. The bar
    wasn’t and could never be low enough for this so-called comedy film.
    There isn’t a bar, in fact the bar is shoved 20 feet in the ground.
    Even then Mortdecai seems to somehow dwell below that standard.

    Let me be clear, I have no disdain for Johnny Depp or anyone in this
    film. I seen the cast list and was somewhat excited until I heard the
    rumblings of how horrible this film was. I just had to find out for
    myself. Every character in this film seems to be some horrible
    caricature of British people to the point that the actors take you out
    of the film with their horrible accents and acting. The dialogue is
    unfunny, the jokes are overused. The writers act as if they didn’t know
    what joke to write so they just shoved another mustache joke in the
    script. It comes off as if they were trying to bullshit around actually
    writing something funny.

    On top of that the movie moves at a slow, dreary, make you want to
    gouge your eyes out pace. The dialogue is uninteresting. The characters
    have no redeemable qualities whatsoever, and the story is predictable
    and bland as a whole.

    I was hoping for some reason for this to be a throw back to the old spy
    films we all love. It wasn’t. It was absolutely and positively awful in
    every sense of the word. This is one of the worst films I’ve ever seen.
    Don’t waste your time.

  • nama chakravortyApril 18, 2015Reply

    Silly Fun!

    Adapted from the book anthology by the same name written by Kyril
    Bonfiglioli, ‘Mortdecai’ is silly fun! Though never hilarious, this
    recent box-office disappoint isn’t entirely bad either.

    ‘Mortdecai’ Synopsis: Juggling angry Russians, the British Mi5, and an
    international terrorist, debonair art dealer and part time rogue
    Charlie Mortdecai races to recover a stolen painting rumored to contain
    a code that leads to lost Nazi gold.

    ‘Mortdecai’ needed more wit & humor, no doubt. But what is served in
    this action-comedy, isn’t unbearable. Some of it actually works, as the
    bumbling protagonist gets into a series of wacky moments. Even the
    supporting characters are fairly appealing. But, in totality, I wanted
    to laugh more.

    Eric Aronson’s Screenplay is continuously silly & on-track, but not
    foolproof. David Koepp’s Direction is impressive. So is the
    Cinematography. The Editing, however, lacks sharpness. Costume Design &
    Action-Sequences, are fair.

    Performance-Wise: Johnny Depp as Mortdecai, is in good goofy mode. The
    versatile actor seems to be enjoying himself, although his talent is
    much above a film such as this. Ewan McGregor is first-rate. Gwyneth
    Paltrow looks aged & tired here. Paul Bettany has his moments. Olivia
    Munn is seductive. Jeff Goldblum appears in a cameo.

    On the whole, ‘Mortdecai’ won’t make you fall of your seat with
    laughter, nor will it want you to pull your hair in anger. Its strictly
    a one-time watch.

  • David KoeppApril 18, 2015Reply

    Just don’t bother watching this one.

    I thought I would give Mortdecai a try, the cast didn’t seem too bad so
    how bad can it be?

    This movie just has no saving grace. A terrible plot filled with a cast
    who seemed to be trying to act their way out of a wet paper bag. It
    tries its hardest to make the audience laugh with the same repeated
    jokes and punch lines that just aren’t funny.

    Bad accents aside, the aesthetic of the movie is just annoying. It
    looks like something out of a Wes Anderson nightmare gone wrong.

    In short its a movie filled with a decent cast who just didn’t seem
    like they knew what to do with that they were being given. VERY bad
    mustache jokes, and even worse accents.

    Save yourself the trouble and just skip over this ”movie”.

  • petern362April 19, 2015Reply

    British Humour at its best

    If you read all the previous reviews you will be totally confused as
    many reviews give this film 2/10 and many give it 9/10. There is a
    simple answer to this. British humour does not travel well across the
    pond. Many US viewers of this film actually believe that Brits talk
    like they do in this film when in actual fact this was a complete
    satire/send up on the English way of life. The three main protagonists
    in this film, namely Johnny Depp, Ewan McGregor and Gwyneth Paltrow
    gave stunning performances not to mention the bodyguard ”Jock” (I still
    have another hand sir!!!) For those who like Johnny Depp all I can say
    is ”Jack Sparrow in Tweeds” To all those potential US viewers all I can
    say is imagine ”Downton Abbey” being thoroughly sent up in the best
    possible way.

  • Martin BagnallApril 21, 2015Reply

    A British Farce

    There will be few people outside of the United Kingdom who will
    recognise the humour in this movie. Think of the legendary Brian Rix
    who entertained London theatre goers for decades with his, almost
    childish, humour. This is the category of Mortdecai. It is a very good
    and bold attempt by Hollywood to make this type of movie. It appears
    there wasn’t a shortage of ‘A’ list stars who wanted to make an
    appearance. It is silly, humorous, frustrating and cringingly funny. If
    you are looking for something serious, don’t watch this. This will
    easily translate to the theatre, where, I’ve no doubt, it will go down
    a storm in London’s West End.

  • Mark NewmanApril 22, 2015Reply

    Paul Whitehouse is the only attraction.

    *** This review may contain spoilers ***

  • loreng123April 24, 2015Reply

    It’s not that bad.

    I saw the trailer for this movie and I liked it.

    Then I saw the reviews and thought maybe (normally defiantly) it is
    rubbish, but I liked the trailer and I was out of options so…..I
    decided to watch it.

    It’s not gonna blow your mind or be the funniest thing you’ve ever seen
    but it is OK and I don’t regret watching it.

    Johnny Depp has a few funny moments and is likable as a character, the
    plot is predictable but also keeps you guessing a bit.

    Its quiet clear there are no awards to be won here but I also think the
    low sledging the movie is getting is more down to a ”group mentality”
    than an honest review of the movie.

    I would also like to rank my 3 favorite movies here because sometimes I
    read these reviews and can’t tell If the person writing it is a person
    who I would actually care to listen to so here they are;

    – Apocalypse Now – Fight Club – Heat

  • ArgemalucoApril 24, 2015Reply

    Mortdecai

    On some way, I respect and admire the predilection Johnny Depp has to
    play weird or absurd characters. I guess that must be an amusing
    challenge for him as an actor; and besides, that has brought him his
    biggest economical successes… and also his biggest failures. The film
    Mortdecai belongs to the second group, and I would attribute that to
    the strange and anachronistic style employed by director David Koepp.
    Mortdecai evokes the British comedies produced by the studio Rank
    Organisation in the ’60s, such as the Carry On… series (Carry On
    Smoking, Carry On Spaceman), combined with The Thin Man films from the
    ’30s (The Thin Man, After the Thin Man), in which William Powell and
    Myrna Loy played Nick and Nora Charles, an elegant couple who solved
    crimes between cocktails and high society parties, with the help of
    their dog Asta (And did I mention the cocktails? Seriously, those
    wouldn’t be comedies nowadays, but dramas about an alcoholic couple).
    Said movies were quite successful in their respective decades, even
    though their sense of humor seems too archaic nowadays, and they must
    be taken as cultural relics whose main function is revealing the tastes
    and customs from past societies. So, I suppose Mortdecai was made as a
    tribute to those films, emulating the comedy and atmosphere with such a
    detail which might make it tedious for many contemporary spectators…
    including me. Nevertheless, I have to admit I liked the performances
    from Mortdecai; some people might say that Depp’s performance begins
    and ends with his character’s moustache, but there’s truly a subtle and
    precise work on the details and nature from his character, which
    wouldn’t have been captured by any actor. Gwyneth Paltrow makes a solid
    work as the wife who knows more than she seems, and I also appreciated
    the performances from Paul Bettany and Ewan McGregor. Despite the good
    performances, I didn’t like Mortdecai, even though it’s undeniable the
    fact that Koepp was brave to make such an old-fashioned film like this
    one, probably knowing that its commercial expectations were going to be
    very low; and that most of the people who might have appreciated it are
    already dead. I guess Mortdecai can be classified as a ”retro comedy”,
    along with Down With Love and The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra, even though
    those films did make me laugh, instead of making me think ”meh…”. If
    you want to see an excellent film with Depp playing an eccentric
    character, I would recommend re-visiting classics such as Edward
    Scissorhands and Ed Wood. His performance in Mortdecai is good, but
    it’s a pity that it’s inside a film which is so bent on antagonizing
    the spectator.

  • Johan DondokambeyApril 26, 2015Reply

    The script development was a total lack

    The movie showed promise at first, presenting a new twist into the
    likes of art movies such as The Thomas Crown Affair or Entrapment. And
    the characters are also interesting enough to follow. However the
    subsequent development of the script was proved to be in total lack of
    quite about everything. There’s not enough depth in the story as a
    whole, the screen time portions are really imbalanced, there’s
    inadequate character building for the villain, and there are just too
    many characters that the story are based upon that it stretches the
    story too far. The acting overall is already a good one. I really
    enjoyed Paul Bettany’s portrayal of Jock which is very much
    entertaining. Johnny Depp’s acting is also a good one, he’s comfortable
    in his character here since it’s just a slight change from his Jack
    Sparrow character. On the other hand Gwyneth Paltrow got very much
    underutilized and so did Ewan McGregor in their acting.

  • simonpcpearsonApril 29, 2015Reply

    fingers down a blackboard

    This poor excuse for a movie is excruciating! I don’t mind Johnny Depp
    as a rule but his bizarre, indulgent performance here makes the movie
    unwatchable.

    The most obvious inspirations for Depp’s character are Terry Thomas and
    Peter Sellers, and it is possible that TT or Sellers might have had
    more success with the titular Mordecai than Depp.

    Personally Depp’s relationship with his servant, and Paul Bettany’s
    performance as such , reminded me of the comedy series Believe Nothing,
    in which the late and much missed Rik Mayall plays Adonis Cnut,
    assisted by his violent and devoted manservant Albumen. Bettany’s
    mannerisms even mimicked Albumen’s for much of the film.

    sadly Depp doesn’t have the comic genius of Rik Mayall either, and his
    grating attempt at an English accent is unbearable. At least Ewan
    McGregor, as a Scotland Yard Inspector, has the good grace to look
    embarrassed to be in this rubbish.

    A strong contender for worst film of 2015

  • khaled-eldeepApril 30, 2015Reply

    as cliché as can get

    *** This review may contain spoilers ***

  • Python HyenaApril 30, 2015Reply

    Mortifying!

    *** This review may contain spoilers ***

  • Roku daimeApril 30, 2015Reply

    Don’t listen to all the haters

    Don’t listen to all the haters. I guess they just don’t have a sense of
    humour. I found this movie to be great fun. Johnny Depp, as always,
    does a great job as a quirky weird character, and the jokes and comedy
    in this movie was well done. And that’s the important thing. This is a
    comedy movie, first and foremost. There is a bit of action now and
    then, but not much, and it’s nothing to write home about, though it
    does add to the film, especially in regards to the two car-chasing
    scenes (well, one of them can’t really be considered a car-chasing
    scene I guess, but whatever), which are both funny. The filming is
    fine. There’s no stunning cinematography, but that’s only natural in a
    movie like this. The music is fitting. The plot is well-written, and
    the key actors all do a great job, not just Depp. The movie is witty
    and entertaining, and I enjoyed it quite a bit.

  • Rahul Singh ([email protected])April 30, 2015Reply

    Not the best of Johnny Depp

    Knowing Johnny Depp’s caliber, I was expecting something better from
    this movie. Though the acting was good if not great in this small
    adventure but what I found missing was a logical plot. A plot which was
    building nicely before it got mixed with some unnecessary humor and
    unexpected climax. Also the use Gwyneth Paltrow and Ewan McGregor got
    wasted as they were lost in plot with no clear objective of their
    presence. Overall, this was not a great experience considering this
    movie of Johnny Depp came after a long time and surely people were
    having some high expectation. As the movie being a comedy, the jokes
    were not up to the mark and one can see a lot repetition and wrong
    timing with sometime no purpose.

  • Super SampsaMay 2, 2015Reply

    A good film, which seems to need a smarter than average viewer

    I’m amazed about the reviews here. The film was good quality with
    interesting characters. Not the best i’v seen, but all in all a quality
    production. Depp always delivers.

    Not to offend anyone, but it seems that the reviewers here who down
    vote this film don’t have a very good standards on films anyway. This
    movie isn’t your typical ”IQ under 100” Hollywood comedy, but more like
    a British style comedy or at least with a Brit perspective on movie
    telling.

    Recommend to see this. Slow start will warm you up and after a while
    you will enjoy the ride.

  • Bob ForshawMay 2, 2015Reply

    An Honest Review of Mortdecai

    I am really quite shocked at the poor reviews and pointless name
    calling and Depp bashing that is happening. The guy is a genius, how
    many actors do you know that put themselves out there like he does?
    none.

    I laughed a lot during this. Cant help but feel that Whitehouse’s
    inclusion was due to Depp, who probably based the Mortdecai character
    on the Fast Show’s thirteenth duke of Wybourne.

    For those critics bashing this, well they are probably American, and
    well, quite frankly, who cares what they have to say about comedy. Also
    America isn’t portrayed in the best way, given Depp’s hatred of the
    country not surprising that he would happily bash it. The land of
    mainstream consumerism, how can they package this for sale? Clearly
    there is a lot of humour in this film that would escape the masses,
    most wouldn’t understand half of what Depp said. I think the parts
    played by the actors were all fairly standard stereotypical characters
    yet they managed to create originality in the portrayal.

    Gwyneth was gorgeous and captivating as always, Ewan was entertaining
    and engaging as always. Paul Bettany playing a Statham like character
    was unusual at first yet he pulled it off excellently.

    And now Johnny Depp, I thought he was excellent, I cant understand the
    abuse. Compared to Willy Wonka, Sweeny Todd, the Tourist, Lone Ranger,
    Alice, Pirates of the Caribbean and pretty much any crazy film I can
    remember him from the last ten years this one is easily the most
    entertaining. Really confused by all the hate, I thought the all star
    cast put in a stellar performance and the director achieved an
    excellent tone throughout and tongue in cheek humour was rife.

    People who are saying Depp should be ashamed of himself astound me,
    firstly this is excellent acting no matter how you want to attack the
    film and secondly Depp is one of only a few actors who have the acting
    chops to pull off such a role, and he does so excellently, I can only
    assume that most of the hate is just from trolls jumping on the
    bandwagon of hate to get a kick out of some up votes and publicly
    slating someone better than them. Critics again are just that,
    critical, and again, most will just be jumping on the bandwagon and
    following the seemingly cool trend to try and bash an actor who is
    willing to try different roles.

  • Sushant Tandon ([email protected])May 3, 2015Reply

    Simple comedy… Good for passing your time

    Being a big fan of Johnny Depp who has seen all his films till date,
    Mortdecai was one movie I was waiting for particularly because of the
    negative reviews it had got, unanimously. Does Depp have a habit of
    choosing his films poorly? YES. Did Mortdecai deserve the level of
    criticism it got? NO.

    This is a simple comedy film, with no mystery at all. That’s all it is.
    A comedy. With tongue-in-cheek kind of one-liners and very basic jokes.
    The intention was to forget your tension and just LOL. This movie
    wasn’t meant to be taken seriously. In my opinion, it is hands and
    shoulders above so many other movies that are being churned out
    nowadays by Hollywood.

    Returning to the movie, Depp does a good job as Lord Charlie Mortdecai.
    He almost nails the English accent. Of course, this is nowhere close to
    his best acting performance, but, his comic timing was impeccable,
    throughout the movie.Gwyneth Paltrow and Ewan McGreogor were good in
    their respective roles too. I really found Paul Bettany, as Mortdecai’s
    manservant, Jock,admirable. He is a really talented actor and I would
    like to see more of him.

    Overall, do give this movie a try. It’s not half as bad as it is made
    out to be.

    Cheers!!

  • Gino CoxMay 3, 2015Reply

    A brilliant parody of British gentleman detective mysteries

    ”Mortdecai” is a parody of the British gentleman detective mystery
    genre, but also mercilessly lampoons the British aristocracy and class
    system. As a fan of Dorothy Sayers’s Lord Peter Wimsey and Elizabeth
    George’s Thomas Linley mysteries, I found much of the movie hilarious.

    The protagonist of such mysteries is usually the epitome of British
    virtues – think David Niven or Prince William – handsome, athletic,
    former war hero, schooled at top private schools and universities,
    unflappable, debonair, etc., etc. Johnny Depp parodies such characters
    as effete, indecisive, roguish, a little slow on the uptake and more
    concerned with form and appearance than with substance. This is
    symbolized by the ridiculous, antiquated mustache that he insists upon
    wearing despite his wife’s objections and violently allergic reaction
    that preclude any efforts at intimacy.

    Much of the humor involves Mortdecai’s inability to act out his
    impulses because of an overwhelming need to behave as a proper
    gentleman in every circumstance, even to the point of becoming frozen
    with indecision at the most basic human responses. This becomes a
    weakness for the film as it tends to be one-note. That one note can be
    hilarious, but it’s not always fresh. However, he does find himself in
    a lot of different circumstances in Britain, Moscow and Los Angeles.

    Paul Bettany is hilarious as Jock. Not only is Jock the straight man,
    but he also represents a modern, relevant version of British ideals to
    counterpoise the anachronistic ideals of the British landed gentry.
    He’s like Lord Peter Wimsey’s manservant Bunter, but seconded to Peter
    Seller’s Inspector Clouseau, or like Johnny English’s Bough.

    Ewan McGregor and Gweneth Paltrow also deliver solid performances. Very
    reserved with a lot of subtext.

    Production values are sterling and it’s particularly refreshing to view
    a film that doesn’t test the audience’s patience with endless
    jiggly-cam shots. They even seem to have used tripods, booms and such
    in the fight scenes.

    The dialogue is very witty and sophisticated. The humor is quite dry
    and, judging by some of the scathing reviews, does not appeal to every
    taste. But any fan of British detective stories will find it amusing.
    If you enjoy Monty Python, Agatha Christie or ”Gosford Park,” you
    should check it out.

  • Vivekanand PulimiMay 4, 2015Reply

    Its supposed to fun movie and it is!!!

    Comon guys… Why all the hate?? Its supposed to be a silly film thats
    meant as enjoyment and I definitely enjoyed it. Personally had some
    good laughs and would suggest to people who watch movies just for fun
    and not to someone who has to view everything under a microscope!!!
    Depp is his usual silly self and Bettany gives many laughs. Depp seems
    to have become a stereotype for a PIRATE and people cant seem to like
    him as any other character (i.e. Transcendence too is underrated).
    Other characters also were adequate enough though McGregor’s role could
    have been better. Bottomline is I liked the movie for what it is and
    not what it should have been.

  • AlexanderExtazyMay 4, 2015Reply

    Downfall of Johnny boy

    Hollywood: hey john, we need you to act stupid.. you’ll make tons of
    money.

    Johnny: sure, children audience again?

    Hollywood: you bet, who else can we entertain.

    This folks is a little synopsis about what you’re about to watch. I
    gave it a score of 2 for the sake of my excitement in wanting to watch
    a movie about an art dealer, which is quite rare to find lately.

    Once I heard depp speak the English accent in the very beginning, I
    knew he wasn’t well trained for the job (seeing as he spends lots of
    time ”living” the role he’s about to play).

    This movie ladies and gentlemen is another Hollywood bluff; another
    goofy movie if I may say.

    The amount of money spent could have been put into good use if there
    wasn’t comedy involved. It’s the comedy that destroyed the whole movie.
    Realistic and serious movies are the ones that entertain adults. Goofy
    and comedy entertains kids and drunken college kids.

    Enough said.. big disappointment; too bad I had high hopes for this.

  • capone666May 4, 2015Reply

    The Vidiot Reviews…

    Mortdecai

    The upside to white-collar crime is the offenders smell way better than
    normal criminals.

    However, the art aficionado in this comedy is working on the right side
    of the law.

    An indebted art dealer, Mortdecai (Johnny Depp), accepts an offer from
    Inspector Martland (Ewan McGregor) to help recover a stolen painting in
    exchange for 10% of its sale price.

    Aided by his wife (Gwyneth Paltrow) and manservant (Paul Bettany),
    Mortdecai uses his connections in the art world to uncover a plot by
    Russian gangsters to use a hidden code on the artwork to locate Nazis
    treasure.

    The only problem is the painting is still in the hands of the real
    culprits.

    With flat jokes focused solely on the character’s foolish facial hair
    and embarrassing performances all-round, Mortdecai’s cheeky and quirky
    nature is misguided and irritating.

    Besides, if you want to steal art just pry it off the motel room wall.

    Red Light

    vidiotreviews.blogspot.ca

  • Gordon-11May 6, 2015Reply

    A mess

    This film tells the story of a lord in financial trouble, and hence he
    has to continue swindling in the art world to pay for his debt.

    I don’t know if ”Mortdecai” is a remake or what, but if it is, then I
    guess the original would be much better. Johnny Depp’s character as the
    lord is very annoying. The character acts so stupid, and tries hard to
    be funny that he is just not funny at all. The copious amount of toilet
    humour is terrible too, and it shows just how low class the film is.
    The only interesting character is Paul Bettany’s, even he is annoying
    with all those sirs he addresses Johnny Depp. The film is simply a mess
    of poor taste. It would have functioned well as a children’s film if
    they take out all the toilet and sexual humour.

  • amesmondeMay 7, 2015Reply

    As a homage viewed in genre its emulating, it works

    A debonair art dealer and part time rogue must recover a stolen
    painting juggling the Russian mob, Mi5 and an international terrorist.

    To get the most out David Koepp’s Mordecai you probably have to be
    familiar with the sub- genre crime fiction caper story. Acclaimed
    screenplay writer Koepp takes up the directing chair in this throwback
    contemporary set heist caper. Johnny Depp does his best impression of
    English comedian and character actor Terry Thomas with a hint of David
    Niven and Peter Sellers thrown in.

    Based on Kyril Bonfiglioli novel Eric Aronson screenplay the narrative
    needless meanders in places, but it’s all good fun especially when Depp
    seemingly appears to be ad-libbing. As with Depp’s overlooked and
    debatably unfairly judged The Tourist (2010) which encompassed the
    spirit of Hitchcock and other classic thrillers Mordecai goes about to
    do the same. It’s has that British comedic action style that viewers
    will either appreciate where it’s coming from or they won’t. As a
    homage it works perfectly, with its ongoing gags, fisticuffs and one
    liners.

    There’s some great, set, costumes, global locations and nice comedic
    action set ups throughout, most of which feature Paul Bettany’s hard
    man Jock, Mordecai’s Pink Panther’s Kato like man servant. Bettany
    pulls the character off with ease and brings to life a role that would
    usually go to a nobody actor.

    The supporting cast are an array of familiar faces including the likes
    of UK’s Paul White House doing his worst Italian accent and USA’s Jeff
    Goldblum to name a few. Gwyneth Paltrow is delightful as the typical
    aristocrat wife, Ewan McGregor is on form looking as if he’s
    auditioning for James Bond and curly moustached Depp is a hoot.

    Granted it’s predicable and some of the gags fall short but Koepp still
    offers guilty, glitzy fun especially when viewed in the context of the
    genre its emulating.

  • karenlim89May 7, 2015Reply

    Mortifying

    Oh Johnny Depp, how far you’ve fallen. Despite my love for quirky and
    colourful characters, I found it hard to love Mortdecai. Depp’s
    portrayal was absolutely frightful. From the mannerisms and all the way
    down to his faux English accent, Mortdecai was simply painful to watch.
    Flamboyant is fun, but Mortdecai was way past flamboyant and at the
    point of being crackers and completely irritating.

    Although an unpopular opinion, I’ve enjoyed Depp’s take on quirky
    characters like Jack Sparrow, Sweeney Todd, and Barnabas Collins.
    However, with Mortdecai, Depp looked like he either tried too hard or
    didn’t even bother trying anymore. I’m starting to suspect he only got
    the role because he could pull off a handlebar moustache.

    Storyline was amusing enough and granted, there were some pretty funny
    moments, but nothing memorable enough to make you want to watch this
    twice. Gwyneth Paltrow’s character, Johanna (Mortdecai’s wife) was a
    little more bearable, but probably because she had less screen time
    than Depp. Again, it was their grating faux English accent that was so
    horrible, even the Asian guys in the movie were more intelligible. I
    had to watch the movie with the subtitles on because I could barely
    understand the words that were coming out of Depp’s mouth.

    The only saving grace of the movie were Paul Bettany and Ewan McGregor.
    I think McGregor could’ve probably done better as Mortdecai, if his
    previous role in Down With Love is anything to go by.

  • diokokk21May 10, 2015Reply

    Much laughs in a movie that doesn’t hesitate to parody itself

    No one said that this movie was aiming for anything else than having a
    good time watching it.My guess is that everybody that disliked the film
    never liked Inspector Clouseau for example, or Indiana Jones movies. It
    is fairly obvious that Clouseau and Kato are Mortdecai & Joki in this
    one, minus Clouseau’s unshakeable trust to his police force skills.Lord
    Charlie never gets as cocky in front of his ”team” of spouse and male
    servant, for nothing more than his good taste and hideous moustache
    that surely reminds us of his noble background and also provides some
    good laughs. It is his ”pipe and hat”, or ”whip and hat”, if you
    prefer, his trademark appearance set. It is fairly obvious that the
    screenwriters and director tried to reference the opening scene with
    Temple Of Doom. Lord Mortdecai is a kind of Indiana Jones in the art
    business, finding lost paintings e.t.c., minus the naive US perspective
    of a morally right hero. He is a British Lord after all, thus
    corrupted, pompous and easily sold out to the highest bidder, due to
    personal debts created by the excesses of luxury and
    pretentious/decandant aristocratic way of life. Anyway, enough with the
    U.S. haters, that simply don’t get it. In order of an American getting
    it, the dialogues should have been filled with gangsta rap slang..Then
    and only then, the joke would be obvious. Now, with this posh dialect
    and witty selections of words (like using a thesaurus) they should try
    to understand what’s been said, than just laugh with the
    out-of-context, expressions such as ”yeah”, ”biatch”, ”sista”. African
    Americans are still used by/for white ignorance and it seems that it is
    fairly impossible for Americans to get anything funny that isn’t in
    their cultural status, even if this foreign cultural element rather
    aims to ridicule itself, than seriously impose on any other culture.
    Americans must felt offended by Charlie’s visit in the US or from
    quotes like: ”have we taken a wrong turn and arrived to a set of a
    pornographic film?”, while they were checking in a hotel, because I
    just can’t otherwise understand their dislike to this film. It seems
    that Quentin alone can’t persuade the American audience of the virtues
    of well written dialogues with unusual vocabulary choices. Now tell me,
    which is more preferable: ”son of a wh..re” or Charlie’s line
    addressing one of his abusers: ”your mother and father only met once
    and money changed hands..propably less than a 20”.. David Coepp is a
    successful screenplay writer, and a fair director, his all star cast
    performs the way they should be, and are at points hilarious, the plot
    is fairly twisting… I just can’t understand why Depp is not as good
    as Sparrow, or Paltrow not as good as Iron Man’s Potts, or Mc Gregor
    not as good as Obi-Wan. You might say that only Bettany provides a
    performance lesser of what expected of him, but that should be rather
    credited to the screenplay, or the role itself, than his effort which
    is adequate. The soundtrack contains one of the coolest songs in a
    movie (Johanna feat. MIles Kane). It is simply one of the best movies
    for the start of 2015. In the universe of trendy sequels this movie
    could easily provide a franchise similar to Edward’s Pink Panther for
    the new millenia, much more successful than the American reboot of the
    series (with the god Steve Martin). I wanted to rank it even higher but
    I considered this unfair to other movies that are interested in
    achieving something greater than two hours of fun. If you don’t get it,
    don’t hate it!!

  • David MilneMay 11, 2015Reply

    Under-rated old fashioned romp

    This movie actually made me register with IMDb to publish my
    displeasure. I’ve read the reviews here and typically they’re from art
    house aficionados who sooooo want everything to have meaning. News
    flash, sometimes a movie is just a movie and sometimes humour is
    unsophisticated. Get over it.

    Johnny Depp seems to be a target for these reviewers at the moment. I
    found his performance/homage to Terry Thomas ”rather good”. The various
    cameos and supporting performances were also ”rather good” The film is
    soaked in British humour and I can see how some from the ”colonies”
    just don’t get it but for people to give this 1 or 2 out of 10 is
    beyond belief.

  • zeeshan005May 11, 2015Reply

    Thoroughly Enjoyable

    After a long time I saw a comedy movie in which I actually laughed. I
    fail to understand the issue some of the people have with this film.
    Probably because these are the sort of people who enjoy spoofs and
    think only those films are comedy.

    The movie was hilarious. The casting brilliant. The acting spot on. Not
    every movies story line needs to be the great American comedy. But this
    does pretty well. Some comedies can linger on the scenes making it
    boring. But the timing in this film was great and it had me laughing
    throughout.

    Not a particularly great fan of Jhonny Depps outside the pirates of the
    Caribbean franchise. So when I saw how he played Mortdecai’s character,
    I enjoyed it to no end.

  • riedudMay 14, 2015Reply

    The abundance of negative reviews hide this fun gem!

    Very low expectations going into this one in large part due to the many
    negative reviews here on IMDb. I usually can get a decent assessment of
    movies on this site because the general public are giving their two
    cents of which I can usually trust more than the pompous ‘critics’ on
    sites like rotten tomatoes. The insights of the amateur movie critic
    can be helpful if you know what to look for.

    Now I have to say, this was a fun movie. One reviewer on here was
    bashing all the ‘hipsters’ for the negative reviews and they may have
    been on to something. I think many people were not sure how to to take
    the style of this film. Trade David Koepp’s name for Wes Anderson and I
    guarantee more people would have enjoyed this film. While there were a
    few minor editing and script points that may not have been as refined
    as a Wes Anderson movie, the film had an overall air of smartly written
    levity about it like Wes’s films. I gladly give this movie a 7. If I
    could gripe, I would say that it was a bit long.

  • john-33890May 16, 2015Reply

    I liked it!

    All the really ‘bad’ reviews I see are 10 page dissertations of…. I
    don’t know what. I liked the movie. It was funny, had a ”Inspector
    clouseau” feel to it. But I laughed. And I liked it. I think the people
    that wrote these long-winded reviews of what they think is so bad about
    it, are people I would not want to hang with. Just saying. Oh wow, I’m
    being told that a review of less than 10 lines is ‘inadequate’. So I
    have to put in some filler to just get posted. I said what I had to say
    in 3 lines. Why do I have to babble on to be considered ”legitimate”? I
    don’t get it. Some of us can actually say what we think we fewer words.
    And I still don’t have enough lines to qualify. The movie is great for
    a light-hearted, I just want to watch something that doesn’t require
    major involvement, I don’t know. It’s hard writing a review here if you
    are a person of few words. They require you to be verbose, so by
    definition, they are being discriminatory against the people that speak
    with few words. I’m insulted and will probably never do this again.

  • Scarecrow-88May 17, 2015Reply

    Mortdecai

    *** This review may contain spoilers ***

  • renesongsMay 17, 2015Reply

    An eccentric Lord Mortrtdecai is commissioned to help MI5 (sic) to investigate a stolen painting

    Spoiler Alert – There is nothing that I or anyone else can say that
    could spoil could diminish the little pleasure this production may (or
    may not) bring you. Despite the absolutely stellar cast’s most valiant
    efforts this film in it’s entirety belongs on the cutting room floor.
    The plot is completely puerile, rather like something that Enid Blyton
    might have dashed out in a senile moment. The character development is
    so facile that I blushed with embarrassment for the cast. If you find
    the language I use in this review to be pompous and affected in any way
    you will barely suffer more than 10 minutes of this productions
    dialogue.

  • fe-gestoraMay 17, 2015Reply

    Johnny Depp no longer have to prove that it is more than a pretty face

    Depp wanted to show the world that was more than a heartthrob and
    succeeded. all They recognize his talent, his audacity, his style. But
    the film is bad, pathetic, a waste of time. Unable to identify or get
    involved with any of the characters, much less the principal. The plot
    is weak, interpretations too caricatured. No one is totally nothing:
    good, bad, interesting, even weird, because be weird is so common in
    the film that s extravagances become blasé. The comedy intended as
    slapstick style is no more than a Wind slapstick, lacking grace,
    lacking team remains to be for real. Gwyneth Paltrow seems to have
    found fun making the film, but it was not fun to watch it. It seemed it
    was always a trial and was not can feel any connection, chemistry,
    between the characters: in short, whatever she wanted to sell, I did
    not have the slightest interest in buy. I watched until the end in the
    hope that better, but not Better!

  • ken-1203May 18, 2015Reply

    Brilliant Moder-day Pink Panther Homage

    *** This review may contain spoilers ***

  • Bob Rutzel ([email protected])May 18, 2015Reply

    Most Annoying

    Mortdecai (Johnny Depp) is hired by MI 5 to find a painting by Goya
    that has codes within it that lead to Nazi gold.

    The 2-best things about this movie are (1) seeing some really nice
    Rolls Royces and (2) seeing some really nice mansions too. Other than
    that this is a very annoying movie starting with Johnny Depp’s
    portrayal of Lord Charlie Mortdecai, a questionable art dealer, but who
    is sometimes used by MI 5. I would guess he is trying to be funny like
    Inspector Clouseau or Mr. Bean, but he fails mostly because of his
    forced accent and dialogues. But a lot of dialogues throughout are at
    fault too. Couldn’t they see that in the beginning? Apparently not.

    Nothing was funny especially the mustache he wears (that he is so proud
    of) that Johanna (Gwyneth Paltrow), his wife cannot stand. They try to
    do a funny skit by trying to kiss, but she isn’t having any of it and
    it’s embarrassing to watch those attempts at kissing. Again, nothing
    was funny or even clever.

    The rest of the movie is truly annoying with Mortdecai trying to figure
    out who killed the person cleaning the Goya painting and also to find
    the Goya painting that may lead to the gold.

    The choreography for the action (non vehicle) skits was pretty good

    Notables: Paul Bettany, Ewan McGregor, Jeff Goldblum,

    It’s just an annoying movie from beginning to end. (2/10)

    Violence: Yes. Sex: No. Nudity: No. Language: No.

  • AStormOfSwords13May 19, 2015Reply

    Annoying rip-off that makes a buffoon out of itself

    January 22nd, 2015, a trio of panned movies were released into
    theaters. These were The Boy Next Door, Strange Magic, and… whatever
    this movie is. I have taken to calling them the Terrible Trio, even
    though this is the first of the 3 I am actually watching.

    From the get-go, Mortdecai, played excruciatingly by Johnny Depp, gets
    an accent so annoying that I wonder why I even bothered to watch such
    tripe in the first place, but he wasn’t an only annoying accent. Pretty
    much every character annoyed me with their accents, with arguable
    exceptions of Joanna and Chuck, portrayed respectively by Gwenyth
    Paltrow and Paul Bettany. Of course, 2 people do not make up for a full
    cast in this situation. As such, it turned from a film I wanted to like
    to a film that I wished would end already, which only took like 16
    seconds for that to happen.

    Oh don’t worry, the accents aren’t the only cringe-worthy thing about
    this POS. The characters were all either very unlikable or unbelievable
    that all I could in good conscience root for is for time to fast
    forward all the way to the end. Mortdecai is a wannabe Closeau with an
    ugly mustache that annoyed me just by being on his disgusting face.
    Chuck, the manservant to Mortdecai, may be a butt-kicking dude, as
    shown in the trailer, but that doesn’t stop him from being an idiotic
    buffoon, and this is one of the BETTER characters in the film, which
    obviously doesn’t say much. Joanna is convenient wife who has
    absolutely no chemistry with her husband whatsoever, and the villains
    are just as over-the-top in their buffoonery, if not more.

    The scene transitions are a joke. At many points, this movie thinks
    that the audience could pick up on what’s going on and jump into the
    next scene, but it does this in a way that is so rushed that it really
    just makes a parody of itself. The transitions that don’t feel rushed
    are unnecessary, points out the obvious, and are just there to increase
    the runtime. Nothing else to it, except that whoever was hired to do
    these transitions was probably drunk out of their mind when ”doing
    their job”.

    The plot itself is just a rip-off of The Pink Panther. Of course,
    remembering how bored I was with the Peter Sellars movie, that already
    is a BAD sign as to where this ”movie” is going to go. Glad I haven’t
    watched Steve Martin’s remake. The characters are annoying, so I don’t
    care for these bozos, there is no character development whatsoever, and
    while I did laugh maybe 2 times, the laugh(s) are very few and far
    between.

    The score was okay enough that it does save it from a 1, but this movie
    was still a train-wreck in almost every sense of the word. The score
    tries to give it a swank atmosphere since that is the intention of the
    story, or lack thereof, but everything else ruins the good intentions
    of the score.

    In short, AVOID THIS MOVIE! You’ll be grateful you did.

  • An unexpectedly amusing romp

    Based upon the trailers (and the goofy head-shot on the posters), I had
    expected ‘Mortdecai’ to be a clone of the Inspector Clouseau series. As
    such, I had low expectations and really had no intention of watching
    it. I had rented the bluray for my wife.

    Instead, I was pulled in during the first few minutes and I ended up
    laughing throughout the entire film.

    Having seen it, I’d compare it to Austin Powers rather than to
    Inspector Clouseau. This is a good thing.

    The thing I enjoyed about the film was that it was sometimes silly,
    frequently farcical, but it never violated its own rules just for
    laughs. There’s no breaking of the fourth wall, nor do Mortdecai or
    Jock, his man servant, ever behave as other than what we are told they
    are.

    Gwyneth Paltrow is great as the fantasy upper-crust wife who is smart
    enough to see what’s going on around her but loyal enough to give her
    husband rope to see his plans through while you know she has her own
    contingency. Let’s also just say that she looks ”mahvelous” when she
    shows up unexpectedly at a party. Rawr!

    This is a movie about characters and stereotypes. None of it bears even
    the remotest resemblance to real life. If you want a film where the
    characters grow and come to realizations about themselves, this is not
    that film. If you want a popcorn film that tells you exactly what to
    expect and then delivers on those expectations, then you’ll probably
    enjoy ‘Mortdecai’.

    Certainly, it’s worth the buck-fifty at the Redbox.

  • HellmantMay 21, 2015Reply

    Depp should be concentrating on making better films!

    ‘MORTDECAI’: Two and a Half Stars (Out of Five)

    Another box office bomb from the drastically fading movie star Johnny
    Depp. In this one he plays a quirky art dealer, who’s constantly going
    on adventures with his manservant/bodyguard. In this adventure, the two
    are trying to retrieve a stolen painting; with a code to finding hidden
    Nazi gold. It was directed by David Koepp and written by Eric Aronson;
    based on the book ‘Don’t Point That Thing at Me’, by Kyril Bonfiglioli.
    The film also stars Paul Bettany, Gwyneth Paltrow, Ewan McGregor,
    Olivia Munn, Johnny Pasvolsky and Jeff Goldblum. In addition to it’s
    financial failures, the movie also received mostly negative reviews
    from critics, and movigoers alike. I don’t think it’s as bad as all the
    negative hype, but it’s certainly not a good film either.

    Mortdecai (Depp) is an eccentric, aristocratic art dealer; who’s
    recently came into financial troubles, and has been forced to sell many
    of his belongings. He’s constantly going on adventures, with his
    manservant Jock (Bettany), and takes orders from his wife, Johanna
    (Paltrow). Inspector Alistair Martland (McGregor) is attempting to
    retrieve a stolen painting, with a secret code to a hidden bank
    account; containing a treasure of Nazi gold. He asks for Mortdecai’s
    help, and Mortdecai agrees to give him his services; in exchange for
    10% of the money, made from the painting once it’s sold. Complicating
    things is the fact that Mortdecai and Alistair are bitter rivals, and
    Alistair is obsessively in love with Johanna; dating back to their
    college years.

    The movie is mildly amusing; and going into it with such low
    expectations, definitely helped me enjoy it more. The performances are
    decent and some of the jokes are funny. The plot isn’t all that
    interesting though; and the action isn’t very involving, or exciting,
    either. The film is definitely not a train wreck, but it could have
    been a lot better. Depp should be concentrating on making better films
    though; rather then mindless junk like this.

    Watch our movie review show ‘MOVIE TALK’ at:
    https://youtu.be/GZMz2QipSqQ

  • vinody545May 21, 2015Reply

    What the heck is going on!!!! Love this

    *** This review may contain spoilers ***

  • Fabian StoldtMay 23, 2015Reply

    To be fair

    For all those reading the horrific reviews some of the people have been
    giving this movie, do not be scared away from this excellent piece of
    art. Granted, it isn’t deep nor is there any part in which ones
    foresight is tested but that is the beauty of it. The absolute
    ingenious acting of Johny Depp in a mockery of today’s moving picture
    industry. I’d say give it a go and try not to take it too seriously, as
    I presume wasn’t its intent in the first place! I shall not proclaim
    this is one of the greats, but I will come forward and say it is worth
    more than the 5.5 it currently has. For anyone who wants to learn some
    fancy English this is also a must-watch!

  • Kenyae KofiMay 27, 2015Reply

    Boo this movie sucked

    *** This review may contain spoilers ***

  • Ole Sandbaek JoergensenMay 27, 2015Reply

    Odd, but strangely attractive

    I didn’t feel it was as bad as some is writing, yes it is a weird movie
    with some odd characters, but if you set your standard for something
    different and strange, then it works out quite well.

    The performance by Johnny Depp could have been better, he doesn’t
    deliver enough edge to really make Mortdecai shine, he keeps it to the
    odd, self absorbed, distinguished British man, that does have some
    tricks both with the ladies and in other areas. There are lots of good
    bi-roles that gives the film a good character span, but take all the
    strange characters away this film would have been boring, most of it is
    based on Mortdecai and the other more different parts.

    I was entertained, not laugh out loud most of the time, but a lot of
    good hints and references and some typical weird character play from
    Johnny. Maybe the story was seen before and wasn’t that interesting,
    but the whole composition works well.

  • Roland E. Zwick ([email protected])June 1, 2015Reply

    Manic and mannered comedy

    Charlie Mortdecai (Johnny Depp) is a notoriously shady British art
    dealer whom MI5 enlists to help nab a foreign terrorist who’s stolen a
    priceless Goya painting that he can then turn around and sell to
    finance his criminal operations. Johanna (Gwyneth Paltrow) is Charlie’s
    semi-supportive, semi-nagging wife who may have a thing for Alistair
    Martland (Ewan McGregor), the inspector who’s investigation the case.

    As a parody of the classic British spy drama, made popular via the Bond
    films of the 1960s, ”Mortdecai” had the misfortune of being released at
    the same time as the far superior and much more critically and
    commercially successful ”Kingsman.” Though the actors give their all in
    the cause, writer Eric Aronson seems to be under the delusion that, as
    long as you keep the characters running around in a state of perpetual
    motion, it doesn’t much matter how funny the script is. How wrong he
    is. Let’s face it: when nearly half of the jokes center around
    Mortdecai’s comically curly moustache, you know something’s lacking in
    the writing department (the movie is based on the novel ”Don’t Point
    That Thing At Me” by Kiril Bonfiglioli). Director David Koepp doesn’t
    help much, substituting kinetic energy and frenetic pacing for style
    and wit.

    Paul Bettany and Jeff Goldblum round out the cast, a cast that deserves
    far better than what they’ve been given to work with here.

  • James WoodJune 1, 2015Reply

    Mortifying

    I think I just sat through what is probably one of the worst films of
    2015. Mordecai is another Johnny Depp flop, both critically and
    commercially and it’s clear why. Tired genre tropes glaze over whatever
    potential this movie could’ve had. It desperately wants to be funny,
    from the use of slapstick, innuendo and montage yet they all fall flat,
    and hard. The scene transitions are appalling and very repetitive.
    Trying to be James Bond-ian in style mixed in with comedy caper
    sequences, nothing works well one bit. Johnny Depp gives his worst
    performance since Public Enemies, even Ewan McGregor is embarrassing.
    The over the top, snotty and pretentious accents are so awful it may
    end up being the one big reason you turn away from Mordecai. Gwyneth
    Paltrow and Olivia Munn seem to be the only ones who pull through with
    decent performances, making the most of the shitty material they’ve
    been given. The soundtrack is unbearable, as is the dialogue which has
    seemingly been written by a 10 year old who only just discovered the
    words vagina and pubic hair. Director David Koepp has no idea how to do
    action sequences, most noticeably the so-called car chase at the half
    an hour point, it’s clunky and slow. To make things worse Paul
    Whitehouse makes an appearance, it hit me at this point I am going to
    hate this film, and I do. Mortdecai is mortifying.

  • Magnum P. HigginsJune 6, 2015Reply

    Great film

    I’m giving this a 10 as it did everything a movie should: kept me
    entertained and watching till the end.

    Yes it seems to be a love it or hate it movie in terms of reviews, but
    in my opinion it is likely another case of something STYLIZED coming
    across Clichéd in the mind of the average consumer.

    Or maybe you just need to be an oddball yourself to appreciate the
    characters.

    It may not be a constantly hilarious movie (it’s not just a comedy
    after all), but regardless i found it funny and entertaining, with a
    good plot and a few memorable scenes.

    (Disclaimer: Im not your average movie viewer. I hate all ”emotional
    journeys”, no movie has ever ”changed my life”, I would rather kick a
    toaster down the street than watch a ”drama”, i consider 99% of movies
    to be trash and all i’m ever lookin for is some entertainment. The
    expectations i go into every movie with is that I will stop watching
    within 10 minutes to an hour)

  • MovieLoverTooJune 7, 2015Reply

    Absolutely Delightful

    After seeing the preview I knew this was EXACTLY the movie I wanted to
    see. Hearing Johnny Depps voice imitating an eccentric Aristocratic
    English gentleman is so Johnny Depp. Its almost a replication of his
    own life being an eccentric rich Actor in Hollywood !

    However I was put off by all the bad reviews and didn’t watch it till a
    friend I went to school with said he loved it. So I watched it and
    loved it.

    It has very subtle and sophisticated humor that only some people would
    understand. But when you do its hilarious ! It is probably more suited
    to an older audience that understands all the references to old English
    Aristocracy than perhaps a younger audience in there 20s

    Its been described as being a cross between Pink Panther and Austin
    Powers. Well maybe its between both of these. Not as funny as Pink
    Panther but doesn’t smash you over the head with Jokes like Austin
    Powers.

    This is a definite must see for something a little bit more quirky than
    the usual comic book franchise mush

  • tamayozegers-luisJune 7, 2015Reply

    Hilarious and funny

    The characters and situations are very funny. The movie has a fine
    touch of criticism about British royalty style and uses. Many of the
    very special characters have royal titles like dukes, lords and sirs.
    That made me laugh a lot, considering the main argument. I’ve already
    seen it for the third time, and each time I saw it, I discovered more
    hilarious details.

    The music by Zanelli and Ronson is outstanding. I think that all the
    actors and actresses made a great performance of their eccentric
    characters. Great movie.

    A very nice film.

    I would like to view a second chapter of the adventures of Lord Charlie
    Mortdecai in the same style.

  • carl-516June 7, 2015Reply

    I can’t wait for the release on DVD

    It’s some of my finest work to date. Who gives a stuff who else is in
    it, and whatever they did it’s all about me according to me….

    I can’t wait when they bring out an Oscar, for best comedy Nazis
    running, I’ll get that without a doubt…! I’d like to thank Alec
    Guiness, Brian Blessed and Al Pacino for all the acting lessons I’ll
    ever need…..

    Films are made to be enjoyed and savoured, it’s entertainment a bit of
    time off from reality and I really enjoyed the making of this film. It
    was brilliant fun, as for all the folk who just rubbish stuff on the
    internet. Well if you think you can do better why not go and have a go
    if you can, or if you’ve got nothing to say say nothing.

    What else, nothing really! They paid me to run can you imagine that, I
    got paid to run…. had i known how easy it was to make money acting
    I’d have studied even less at school…. Cos people say acting is
    difficult and takes a lot of skill, what a load of nonsense. It’s just
    pretending really hard for money, You don’t have to know nothing about
    anything. Just pretend to be clever and the editors will make you look
    like a rocket scientist even if your thicker that two short planks.

    I still can’t get my head around it, they paid me real money and
    everything plus lunch, that’s mighty fine living in my opinion….. I
    can now understand why actors get into the business it’s not like
    digging a ditch unless your role says dig a ditch, but then you’d get a
    stunt ditch digger to do that…. before you get there…. so even when
    it’s hard it’s easy…. DOH!

    The chap in the costume department was lovely… the director was great
    when I explained it was pretty hard to run and avoid all that expensive
    stuff they put everywhere. He just said do your best you can and that’s
    what I did…. It’s genius why have I never considered this as a career
    choice before, anyway there we are I give this film a massive 12 out of
    10 (mainly cos of my running…..!, which ahd better be in the DVD cos
    I’ve waited really patiently for the release)

  • gavravJune 9, 2015Reply

    Disappointing

    This is possibly the most pathetic attempt at comedy that I have ever
    had the displeasure of experiencing. Nothing works – all it succeeds at
    is being yet another display of Johnny Depp’s lack of depth and his
    inability to deviate from his one dimensional alter ego that we’ve
    surely seen one too many times now…is that really all he has? I have
    always liked him and I thought he was quite a good actor at some stage
    but he seems bent on proving otherwise to all his fans. How on earth
    does garbage like this get funded and produced in the first place. I
    think its an insult to the intelligence of the audience. Come on Mr
    Depp you can surely do better than this. Please renew our faith in you
    and remind us why we liked you in the first place

  • leonblackwoodJune 13, 2015Reply

    Really not funny or entertaining! 2/10

    Review: Yet another flop from Johnny Depp! This movie was more stupid
    than funny and the storyline was ridiculous. Johnny Depp plays an
    English art dealer who has a hefty tax bill to pay, so he takes on a
    job to hunt for an expensive, stolen painting. The job, which is given
    to Mortdecai by a detective who is also in love with wife, takes him
    around the world and he comes face to face with some dodgy characters
    who are also after the painting. Its like an old Pink Panther movie but
    no way as funny. Johnny Depp played his part well but the writing is
    awful and the silly situations that Mortdecai gets himself into to, are
    really unrealistic and hard to watch at times. Its a total waste of a
    great cast and the pompous English voices got on my nerves after a
    while. On the plus side, the chemistry between Depp, Paltrow and Paul
    Bettany, who plays Mortdecai’s bodyguard/butler, was great and you
    could see that they had some fun whilst making the film but from an
    audience point of view, it’s a really bad attempt at slapstick comedy.
    Disappointing!

    Round-Up: Johnny Depp’s movies have had a bad reception at the box
    office, except for the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise and he really
    does have to make some better choices of in is career. His films with
    Tim Burton have also gone down hill and his no fuss acting style and
    dry humour really didn’t work in this film. You can tell that he gave
    the role his all but I doubt that were going to see another Mortdecai
    movie anytime soon. At 52 years of age and with another Pirates of the
    Caribbean movie in the pipeline, I honestly think that he should put
    this awful film behind him and try some straight forward dramas for a
    change.

    Budget: $60million Worldwide Gross: $30million

    I recommend this movie to people who are into their comedy/crime movies
    about an art dealer who on the search for an expensive painting with
    the help of a detective, his trusty side kick and his wife. 2/10

  • Lee Eisenberg ([email protected])June 15, 2015Reply

    Is ”Mort” less?

    Most the critics and public have called ”Mortdecai” something like
    Johnny Depp’s worst movie ever. I didn’t find it terrible, just
    strange. Depp puts on a funny performance as an swindler amid a
    convoluted scheme involving a Goya painting, but the rest of the cast
    doesn’t equal him. Gwyneth Paltrow struck me as uncomfortable in her
    role. ”Secret Window” is a better Johnny Depp-David Koepp
    collaboration.

    As for Depp’s critically reviled ”Dark Shadows” and ”Lone Ranger”, I
    interpreted something serious about them. ”Dark Shadows” was about the
    political situation in the early 1970s, while ”The Lone Ranger” was
    about the shift from idealism to cynicism.

  • stevenknapp89June 17, 2015Reply

    The Thin Man and The Pink Panther

    I had put off watching this for a while due to all the negative reviews
    of this movie; however, I am so glad I watched. Few movies actually get
    a genuine ”laugh out loud” from me and it was refreshing to do that.
    Depp’s character reminds me of William Powell from the Thin Man movies
    combined with Peter Sellers from the Pink Panther. The dialogue is very
    clever and well delivered. It was a fun ride all the way through for
    me. For the life of me I do not understand why there are so many
    reviews that are bashing this film; I feel it can only be out of
    ignorance and poor taste. If you want to watch a movie that is just
    plain fun I highly recommend it. It definitely did not disappoint.

  • bowmanblueJune 18, 2015Reply

    What did I just watch here?

    I’ve just sat through ‘Mortdecai’ and I’m now sitting here wondering
    what exactly I just saw and whether or not I even liked it or not! It’s
    one of those films that’s actually quite hard to explain. First of all
    I wasn’t expecting much. The overall critics’ reviews were pretty
    scathing towards it and, in some cases, I can see their points of view.
    However, it did make me chuckle here and there.

    Johnny Depp has made a career out of playing over-the-top, whacky
    characters and here he plays the English nobleman ‘Mortdecai’ – an art
    dealer who’s fallen on hard times. Then, through a series of further
    misfortunes, he’s forced to track down a priceless painting who
    everyone from MI5 to the Russian mafia is after.

    It’s sort of a spy movie, but with huge lashings of outlandish comedy
    thrown in. I was okay with the spy movie element, it was just the
    ‘comedy’ part that threw me. Johnny Depp’s character is just too damn
    annoying to be a leading man. Sometimes he found himself captured and
    taking a beating. However, for every punch he took, he just shrugged it
    off as if it was nothing and then proceeded to make a witty quip. I
    know this film is hardly trying to be ‘realism,’ but I found it a
    little too hard to swallow, as it’s not like he’s playing an ‘action
    man’ or tough, grizzled soldier who’s used to torture and taking blow
    after blow. Plus he was actually very annoying to watch. Okay, so not
    quite as bad as – let’s say – Jar Jar Binks, but if you can imagine
    someone really annoying being the star of a film and having to
    ‘support’ them throughout, you’ll imagine what it’s like watching
    Johnny Depp in ‘Mortdecai.’ I know it’s intentional, as even one of the
    other characters remarks on his constant ‘messing around.’ However,
    even though Depp did annoy me considerably, there are moments of
    genuine fun and I did laugh out loud a few times. I didn’t hate the
    film, I just found it difficult to watch as it leapt from one genre to
    another. One moment we were engaging in car chases across London, the
    next we were indulging in conspiracies like something in a Dan Brown
    novel.

    The critics have been harsh. It seems that ‘Depp-bashing’ is in fashion
    right now and seemingly there’s little he can do right these days. It’s
    not as bad as some are making out. It’s just a bit all over the place.
    But, at the end of the day, it’s only a bit of harmless fun and it
    knows it. As long as you remember that, you shouldn’t feel too
    aggrieved for sitting through it. I sort of enjoyed it, however I don’t
    know whether I’ll ever watch it again. Depp’s done better in the past
    and I’m sure he’ll do better in the future when he’s not being so
    heavily scrutinised by the critics.

  • kosmaspJune 21, 2015Reply

    Comedy – if you get it

    People have described it as a bit of Pink Panther thing. Which I guess
    will be OK for Johnny Depp. Because it’s not far off and maybe the
    Captain Jack Sparrow comparisons will stop (probably not, but you can
    always hope can’t you?). One thing is for sure, comedy is always
    something that will and can divide people easily. What some consider
    hilarious others will just dismiss as bad or annoying (or maybe
    something worse).

    The mustache jokes will either delight you or not, but we do have a lot
    of adult situations here, even without going too far down that
    drain/road. Paltrow relishing in her role as is Law, who can relax for
    once and sit back and be somebody else (read: not that confident guy).
    It’s a light affair (no pun intended), but if you are willing to let
    your guard down, you can have fun with it

  • eddie_bagginsJune 24, 2015Reply

    One of the most pointless and aimless films ever made

    I don’t often like to keep ongoing tallies in movies as I watch them,
    it seems like a little bit of a ‘naff” thing to do, but with Mortdecai
    I couldn’t help but keep a tally as it wasn’t a hard one to keep track
    of. The grand total of the times I laughed during David Koepp’s Pink
    Panther wannabe was – 0. Yes a big fat 0. A very sad tally for a so
    called comedy.

    A critical and box office failure, every bad thing you’ve heard about
    Mortdecai is horrifically true, and if anything, some have been too
    kind to a film that completely fails to achieve anything it sets out to
    do, although one would question what anyone is doing here in the first
    place other than the fact the pay must have been too good to refuse.

    A screenwriter of some renown and a director whose shown promise before
    with efforts like Secret Window and harmless popcorn munchers like
    Premium Rush, Koepp may find himself blacklisted from future
    productions with Mortdecai being an immaturely written, dreadfully
    unoriginal and downright offensively unintelligent piece of writing and
    directing. I’m sure I speak for everyone in saying that there’s nothing
    wrong with harmless fun or movies made to low common denominators but
    Mortdecai is surely playing a joke on all of us with its hijinks and it
    also marks a career low for many involved, finger pointed squarely at
    Johnny Depp when saying this.

    Filled with cringe worthy moments and scenes that suggest the cast
    must’ve surely known what a turkey they were partaking in, this is
    without doubt 2015’s worst big screen ensemble. Depp has been falling
    for years now but his moustached art detective Charlie Mortdecai is an
    incredibly annoying and unlikeable creation. Depp’s fascination with
    playing things over the top has worked before but if there was ever an
    actor in need of some normality it’s him, this turn is almost as bad as
    his atrocious cameo in Kevin Smith’s Tusk, which for those who have not
    seen it, is no mean feat. Depp’s only foreseeable win is in the
    upcoming Black Mass, if that in turn fails, Depp is likely to become
    one of the greatest fall from grace stories in some time. Other’s in
    the picture like Ewan McGregor and Paul Bettany just look embarrassed,
    and not without reason, while the ever bland Gwyneth Paltrow surely
    won’t be showing this effort to her Apple or Moses in the future.

    There are things worse than Mortedcai, but not a whole lot. While
    watching this film, the laugh tally stuck at zero, my mind wondered to
    what could be worse than enduring this charisma free, charmless affair
    and when the thought of being detained in Guantanamo Bay, being slowly
    nibbled to death by a large rat or heck, watching Paul Blart and it’s
    it sequel back to back is more appealing than what lays before you, the
    true horrors of Mortedcai become all too apparent. This is so far the
    worst film of 2015 will take some serious beating to have its mantle
    taken away. Congratulations to all involved then.

    0 dry reaches out of 5

  • Siacri Sixx (acidium-95774)June 28, 2015Reply

    are the critics just secretly jealous of Johnny Depp?

    The critics who have bashed this movie are either jealous of Johnny
    Depps undeniable talent and classical good looks or this movie went
    right over their shallow little heads! All I have to say to them is,
    ”Open your balls!”.. I don’t understand how someone with a basic
    education who has a sense of humor could not find this movie to be an
    absolute comedy gem worthy of repeat viewing. Every single character in
    the film was unique and entertaining. The plot is simple to some extent
    but carries the perfect amount of complexity to make every scene
    necessary to carry it through. You definitely have to follow the
    dialogue and pay attention or you could end up lost but following along
    is easy to do with a movie filled with quality actors who have been
    given a quality script and character roles they are obviously having
    fun with. I’m extremely bummed that this movie received such a negative
    reception…id much rather see these characters revisited in a sequel
    as opposed to say..21/22 jump street (both OK films but so dim if you
    place them next to Mortdecai) That alone proves that the ”dumbing down”
    of our society is happening at light speed. Don’t listen to the
    critics..turn off your phone, focus and allow this film to entertain
    you.

  • Linda HandJune 29, 2015Reply

    Laugh Out Loud (I tried to use the acronym, but the system called it a shouted spelling mistake -!)

    This film is an extremely broad comedy, deliberately over the top and
    predictable, in fact a spoof. Many of the reviewers have entirely
    missed the point. The reviewer who compared it to Peter Sellers’ ‘Pink
    Panther’ is closest to the mark. I think that it is quite a British
    version of the genre, and am not surprised that of the reviews I read,
    the American ones seemed to universally be negative. I also get the
    feeling that women liked it more than men. But my sample size might be
    too small. IF you like the genre – and I do – this is quite one of the
    best versions I have seen in a long time. OK, so it is not serious
    film-making and will not change the world or stretch your emotional or
    intellectual world-view. But it is very funny. Johnny Depp is so good
    at making silly almost credible, his timing is exquisite, and it was
    really a joy to watch. None of the (extremely good)actors in this film
    had the slightest problem sending themselves up, and I enjoyed watching
    them do it. Lighten up, everyone! Just enjoy it for what it is.

  • Desertman84July 2, 2015Reply

    Johnny Depp Gives His Best But To No Avail

    *** This review may contain spoilers ***

  • Wizard-8July 3, 2015Reply

    Irritating comedy

    Dear Johnny Depp: Okay, okay, we in the public get it – you like to
    take on acting roles where the character you play is to one degree or
    another a goofball. But it’s time for you to get it that we in the
    public are getting tired of this, judging from the box office results
    of your last few movies, including this one. Oh, I guess this
    particular movie could have worked, but it sinks mainly due to your
    performance. It seems that you were trying to make the character of
    Mortdecai a lovable eccentric, kind of what Mike Myers did with his
    Austin Powers character. But you failed to put the ”lovable” portion
    into your performance. Mortdecai comes across as quite annoying, like
    he seems to know that he is annoying but all the same decides to keep
    rubbing people the wrong way. And as a result, the movie comes across
    as quite an ordeal. Depp, it’s time to act seriously in a movie for a
    change. I know you can do it from past films like ”Donnie Brasco”. Do
    it before your career sinks even further.

  • Amy AdlerJuly 6, 2015Reply

    Marvelous Mortecai! Lets’s all start a cult following to tell everyone this is a very fine flick

    In England, Charles Mortecai (Johnny Depp) lives in a lovely mansion
    with his gorgeous wife, Johanna (Gwyneth Paltrow). An art expert,
    Mortecai is nevertheless very much in debt. Also, our Charlie has grown
    a moustache, which Johanna hates; it may cause a rift in their marriage
    bliss. Thus, when a high government official (Ewan MacGregor) comes
    calling, asking Mort to search for a missing Goya, Charlie accepts.
    There will be some money involved, naturally. But, alas, folks
    connected to the painting keep dropping dead. The lady who was
    restoring the painting has been found deceased, just as Charlie
    arrives. Then, Charlie’s favorite mechanic may somehow be involved and
    he is bumped off, too. If not for Chuck’s fantastic male servant, Jock
    (Paul Bettany) Mortecai himself would have been offed. As luck would
    have it, Jock is a martial arts expert and completely loyal to his
    employer. Soon, the trail leads to California, where a filthy rich
    gentleman (Jeff Goldblum) and his beautiful daughter (Olivia Munn) may
    have purchased the painting. Naturally, Mr. Big Bucks winds up dead as
    well. But, wait, perhaps there are more secrets to uncover and Johanna
    is suddenly back in Mort’s corner. Can they crack the case and net some
    large sums at the same time? This darling movie flopped at the box
    office and its a tragedy it did. Why were critics so unkind to such a
    terrific, witty, clever, and funny flick? There is no answer. BUT,
    don’t you skip it as it is now on DVD and available elsewhere. Depp is
    a colossal stitch in the title role, going for broke with a great
    performance. Paltrow, MacGregor, Goldblum, and especially Bettany, are
    also very wonderful. Then, too, the look of the movie is also stunning,
    with great sets, costumes, venues, and photography. Lastly, the erudite
    script and the lively direction make Mortecai an absolute winner. Let’s
    start a cult following, Depp fans, or maybe even take out a change.org
    page. THIS MOVIE DESERVES NO LESS.

  • TxMikeJuly 6, 2015Reply

    Story is secondary, Johnny Depp imitates British humor.

    *** This review may contain spoilers ***

  • mhol111964-754-567942July 10, 2015Reply

    Not even the well assembled cast could make up for this poor attempt at an action comedy.

    There is really nothing to say about this film besides that it is
    pretty much an uninspired piece of crap. Generally speaking, I often
    enjoy a good British comedy, and there are some movies I enjoy that are
    poorly reviewed. But this film was just not good at all.

    Basically, it seems to completely miss the point in what makes a comedy
    work. The humor in this movie (if you can even call it that) is
    juvenile, uninspired, and downright awkward. For instance, there were a
    lot of moments where I was like ”Is that supposed to be funny?”. It
    basically uses gimmicky dialogue and hand motions as an attempt to make
    people laugh, which just did not work. What this film needs is some
    ”jokes”.

    It also fails as an action flick because the action scenes are boring
    and not very exciting.

    Also, the storyline is quite pointless and forgettable. I mean I
    watched this not too long ago and I barely even remember the story
    besides that it was centered around a painting.

    It just goes to show that not even a good cast can save a pile of junk
    such as this. That is the kind of impression that Mortdecai made on me.
    I feel sorry for Johnny Depp, Gwyneth Paltrow, Paul Bettany, and Ewan
    McGregor being involved in this.

    Overall, I found Mortdecai to be a pathetic attempt at an action
    comedy, and I would not recommend it to anyone.

  • phoenix 2July 22, 2015Reply

    not good enough

    *** This review may contain spoilers ***

  • Strickland RogersJuly 30, 2015Reply

    Thumbs up

    *** This review may contain spoilers ***

  • Paulo CorceiroAugust 3, 2015Reply

    Basic, childish and predictable comedy.

    This film is an excellent manual that teaches us how to waste
    experienced and quality actors. A children’s story, full of
    unintelligent situations and without the slightest joke. Everything
    runs around the niceties of the main character, which turns out to be
    too little to build a good comedy. This character can be summed up as a
    set of remains of the Jack Sparrow movies, trying to take advantage of
    the talent Johnny Depp always shown as a stylish provocative, but in
    this case without a great success. Of course, at times the viewer can
    drop an authentic smile without much effort, but most of the time the
    film proves to be a huge bore, full of clichés and things that we know
    are going to happen. The director could have seen some seriously
    comedies like ”Some Like It Hot” or ”Mon Oncle”. In these and other was
    not necessary to use sophisticated scenarios and colorful CGI cut
    scenes. Don’t watch it if love you life. By the way I loved ”Premium
    Rush” by this same David Koepp.

  • Troy PutlandAugust 7, 2015Reply

    Mortdecai the moron.

    Mortdecai’s like marmite. This movie’s a love or hate game. Love to
    hate it, or hate to love it. Same goes for Johnny Depp. He’s one of
    those actors that draws crowds for reasons unknown. Mortdecai’s been
    shaped to fit Depp’s charisma. No one could play it better. Comparable
    to Johnny English and Maxwell Smart, Charles Mortdecai’s an affluent,
    heavy-handed dolt who deals in the art business. How he came to be
    cannot be asked because it cannot be answered. His wife (Gwyneth
    Paltrow) wears the trousers. She’s disturbed by the hair on his lip.
    One of the few overused jokes. Mortdecai’s called upon by Mi5 agent
    Martland (Ewan McGregor) to help solve a murder and find a priceless
    painting. The narrative’s easy to grasp, but burdened by other
    attributes. Mortdecai’s right-hand-man Jock (Paul Bettany) is the only
    character producing the laughs. The script’s sluggish, heavy on
    under-thought jokes. A forgetful film to say the least.

  • LeonLouisRicciAugust 8, 2015Reply

    Johnny Depp Seems to Have a Career Death Wish

    This is the Type of Movie, the Type of Comedy, that is Box-Office
    Poison in America. Broad British Humor is a Tough Sell in the USA.
    Peter Sellers managed to Make it Work Most of the time, and Monty
    Python, but They are the Exception to the Rule.

    This One was Dead out of the gate. Why Director David Koepp and Depp
    Thought this would be anything but Eviscerated by Critics and Multiplex
    Multitudes is a Mystery. It isn’t as Bad as all that. But it isn’t the
    Type of Thing that is Easy Going down.

    The Mustache Jokes are Unwelcome after the First Few Scenes and it is
    that Hairy, Waxed, Upper Lip that almost Sinks the Film before it has a
    Chance. The Slapstick and Wordplay are Amusing most of the time and
    while the Movie has it Cringe-Inducements there is enough Fun otherwise
    to make this a Harmless Time-Waster.

    Johnny Depp, one of Our most Gifted and Prolific Actors, is on a Road
    to Ruin, or at least in a Career Decline, and will undoubtedly Bounce
    Back because Talent like His cannot be Down for Long. Here’s Hoping for
    a Resurgence and Depp’s career Death Wish is only Temporary and He will
    Recover from what seems Like a subconscious Self Loathing.

  • WoodBangers EntertainmentAugust 9, 2015Reply

    what the heck?

    I’m a huge fan of Johnny Depp and have loved every film he has been in,
    well that’s of course until this one. Mortdecai (2015) is basically a
    different story and new cast to reincarnate Austin Powers, why not just
    make an ”Austin Powers: Mortdecai”. The actors did do a good job, and
    the script was fair, but the reality is the movie wasn’t any different
    than films that are already out and have gotten old. I was quite let
    down by this movie as I had high hopes since Johnny Depp was in it, now
    I’m not sure if I’d want to see any of his future films.

    If you liked ”Austin Powers” and can handle watching it again then this
    is a good way to get reacquainted with the film. I can’t give Mortdecai
    (2015) a good rating as honestly I don’t think it was good.

  • John ColeAugust 14, 2015Reply

    Deserves a little more credit for a brave effort

    First of all, there is only one Terry Thomas and it’s a brave effort
    for any actor to attempt becoming him. Johnny Depp did well I thought.
    The Script isn’t great but it gave me a number of deep belly laughs and
    I have taken a lot of funny phrases away with me. I think it deserves
    more credit than its been given here. A nice light comedy for a rainy
    afternoon; as are most Terry Thomas films. Here’s an idea, Johnny Depp
    should refine this character and give it another crack with a better
    script. ‘Mistake after mistake’ I here you say, but worth a go
    nonetheless. Overall, it was a nice tribute to a classic genre which Id
    like to see more of.

  • d_spychAugust 15, 2015Reply

    It was fun

    Mortdecai’s goal as a comedy is to make me laugh, and it succeeded, the
    movie had a lot of hilarious jokes. I laughed a lot, I feel like
    Mortdecai worked as a comedy. Pretty much everything that was funny was
    about Johnny Depp, his hilarious weird faces and expressions and the
    way he acts like a wimpy art dealer is really funny. The story was not
    bad, I liked it, it was all about art theft and the movie really feels
    like one big awesome, hilarious wild goose chase. At some points the
    movie felt like a live action cartoon which was just weird. Anyway the
    action is solid but don’t expect to be seeing an action movie, you’ll
    be very disappointed. Unfortunately nothing makes Mortdecai stand out
    from being just another fun comedy. And also a few jokes fall flat. My
    favourite joke was the sympathetic gag reflex. A fun comedy is really
    how I would describe Mortdecai. Johnny Depp steals the show and it has
    some cool action scenes amidst being funny. I recommend this movie.

  • ben_tosAugust 23, 2015Reply

    Great movie

    This is a great movie, with running gags, multiple plot twists and over
    the top acting. It is a spoof on those all to serious action movies.
    The relation between Mortdecai and his manservant Jock was reminiscent
    of Jeeves and Wooster. Mortdecai, just like Wooster, gets in these
    terrible situations and every time Jock, like Jeeves, steps in and
    saves the day. It also made me think of those 40’s merry melody
    cartoons and Marx Brothers movies, a lot of running around, the same
    jokes repeated ad nauseam, impossible the follow plot twists and quick
    witted banter. The lines uttered by J.D. are absolutely hilarious but
    sometimes to fast to follow.

    A must see movie.

  • Daniel SkulskiSeptember 3, 2015Reply

    Worth watching

    I read a few bad reviews and I realized that they are written by people
    who missed the fun in this movie. Maybe because they are fans of Rogen
    and Hill humour, I don’t know. This movie is funny, even the humour is
    a little bit… subtle. Too subtle for some, I suppose.

    Does it worth paying 8 euros for a ticket (this is the price for a
    ticket in my poor eastern European country)? Maybe not. But I never
    watch the movies immediately after they are released, but much later,
    as you may notice from my so-called review (actually a short comment).
    So, it was worth the 2 euros what I paid for it.

    I gave it 6 stars, which means ”worth watching, but only once.”

  • phd_travelSeptember 6, 2015Reply

    Not many laughs but not totally unwatchable

    Despite bad reviews, I wanted to see this because with such a stellar
    cast doing a comedy how bad could it be? Surely with Johnny Depp,
    Gwyneth Paltrow etc it’s got to have some laughs. The trailer seemed
    unfunny and painful. It turned out the trailer showed the most painful
    parts. The movie actually does have some laughs though in rather minor
    dialog and incidental situations.

    The plot is about a comical British aristocrat art expert slash con man
    helping MI5 over some forged Goya painting that has lots of people
    after it for some Nazi secret.

    The comic talents of the cast are not used to their full potential
    because the lines aren’t witty enough and the situations aren’t
    spontaneously laugh out loud. The characters have the potential to be
    funny but then the story and dialog don’t deliver. The problem is there
    were too many unfunny lines and forced situations that cancelled out
    the funny moments. Both Johnny Depp and Gwyneth Paltrow do their
    amusing English accents. Couldn’t catch a lot of what Johnny was
    saying. It was mumbled. Olivia Munn as a nymphomaniac is given precious
    little to nymph about. Ewan didn’t have many good lines. Paul Bettany
    is okay as the sidekick.

    Overall its a bearable one watch. The locations in England are pretty.
    Just be prepared it’s not that funny.

  • birdseed-11September 15, 2015Reply

    Better than expected

    I can’t understand why this movie got so much bad press. It was great
    fun. Depp, Paltrow, Bettany, McGregor were all at the top of their
    game. The marital spat between Mortdecai and his wife were hilarious if
    you have ever been in a this-is-more-serious-than-it-looks argument
    with your spouse.

    But really this is a buddy adventure movie with Mortdecai and his
    superhuman servant Jock. It is a modern day Jeeves and Wooster.
    Mortdecai is a rich, but idiotic, Englishman. Jock is his street smart,
    street fighter, and very clever man servant. Together they chase down a
    painting to save the world (as is typical). It is great fun, complete
    with a plot twist.

  • keithlovesmoviesSeptember 23, 2015Reply

    Mortdecai Review

    Charlie Mortdecai (Johnny Depp) is a charismatic British, shady art
    dealer. He unfortunately suffers from a lack of money to support his
    and his wife Johanna’s (Gwyneth Paltrow) lavish lifestyle. When his old
    friend and an agent in MI5, Alistair Maitland (Ewan McGregor), comes to
    ask for his assistance in finding a missing painting, he accepts. What
    he doesn’t know is that he is not the only one who covets the painting
    as an American heiress (Olivia Munn) and a revolutionary also wants it
    for themselves. They want it because it is rumored to contain a secret
    code to a bank account containing Nazi gold.

    I’ve known about this film ever since it was released in January of
    this year. I’ve also been avoiding it until now because of its
    reputation of being a bad film. Being close to the end of the year, I
    thought I would be thorough and see this film for myself. This may not
    come as much of a surprise but this film is as bad as they say. Let’s
    start with Johnny Depp. He has played many different characters in his
    career, with the most famous ones being Captain Jack Sparrow and Edward
    Scissorhands. I guess they thought they can elevate the character of
    Charlie Mortdecai to their level but unfortunately they don’t come
    remotely close to doing that. He is simply an annoying British
    caricature. I believe they were trying to make it funny by him acting
    snobby, mostly during interactions with other characters, and weak by
    constantly hiding behind his stronger- looking bodyguard/man-servant
    Jock (Paul Bettany). It just didn’t work because it just wan’t funny.
    There’s also a subplot involving Alistair having a crush on Johanna but
    its merely implied and was never fully explored. What also wasn’t funny
    was the juxtaposition between Jock’s duties. He’s a man who kicks ass
    and also cooks and cleans. There’s also some slapstick which just came
    across as stupid. There’s supposedly a story here about finding a
    stolen painting but it takes so many turns and adds a bunch of
    extraneous characters but I quickly lost interest due to sheer boredom.
    I probably wouldn’t have been as bored if the actors didn’t look as
    bored and disinterested on screen. There wasn’t much chemistry to be
    had either, especially between Depp and Paltrow as they seemed the most
    disinterested through their performances. It would definitely had
    helped if their accents weren’t so bad. What was arguably as bad as the
    accents was the cringe-worthy dialogue where is evident that they were
    trying to make it funny but it just wasn’t. Despite how bad as I have
    made it out to be, it’s not the worst film I’ve seen. When it comes to
    a score, anything I see from now on will be compared to Fantastic Four.
    That one is in a league of its own.

    Score: 4.5/10 keithlovesmovies.com

  • Tim LaneOctober 17, 2015Reply

    The makings of a Classic British Heist film.

    I don’t know how this movie passed me by, I had vaguely seen the title
    around but had no idea what it was, if I had read the description I
    would have been all over it. I love a good Heist.

    I found Mortdecai hilarious, I don’t think I have laughed out loud this
    much at a movie for a long time, it has something of the classic Ealing
    comedies about it, not just in the Terry Thomas inspired teeth and
    accent but in the way quite slapstick, silly humour is presented as
    something quite high-brow.

    It is nice to see Johny Depp acting for a change, he’s not going to win
    any Oscars here but the accent was so good you could almost mistake him
    for Brannagh or Feinnes in one of their comedy outings.

    I liked the style, the music and camera direction and the transitions
    which apparently people either loved or hated. I guess if the ”Gambit”
    remake (the Colin Firth one) met ”Grand Budapest Hotel” their offspring
    would look rather like this.

    So don’t come looking for something deep with a moral or a message but
    if you like a bit of fun and you remember the good old days of the
    British comedy-heist, such as the original Pink Panther movies then
    enjoy.

  • victorsmesq18November 1, 2015Reply

    Johnny makes it cool

    I thought it was a pretty fun movie to watch, Johnny brings a very nice
    character in which makes the movie fun, the script is not great and
    it’s far from that but how the character combine with each other is
    what makes it nice, I really like some of the scenes and i think it’s
    because of Johnny’s acting , it didn’t make the movie boring and it
    shows how versatile he is. Jock is another character that makes the
    movie cool. Overall Mortdecai is far from being great, it has some OK
    script but some very nice acting from Depp and others, it’s fun and
    makes you laugh sometimes, but it lakes on a lot of things and you
    shouldn’t go trying to see some great movie but it can entertain you.

  • Tin WhiskersNovember 7, 2015Reply

    Comedy haters: just complainers

    WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU MOVIE GOERS THAT COMPLAIN ABOUT HOW MUCH YOU
    HATED THIS COMEDY? Did you REALLY expect a movie for an academy award
    nominee? You could tell by the trailers and your friends just what kind
    of comedy this was going to be. If you don’t like this TYPE of
    comedy,see another movie! Mortdecai was ”goofy” and ”non-sensical” ON
    PURPOSE to appeal to true comedy lovers who expect AND anticipate such!
    You probably also hated ”Knight and Day”. Mortdecai’s plot was typical
    but at least it has twists. BTW, comedy is made up of repeating certain
    lines to propel the humor. Gees! You don’t get that!? A little advise
    before you ”Mortdecai” self-designated critics (no one likes a critic)
    go to a comedy movie: DON’T GO! Stick to the boring dramas that make
    you cry. DON’T GO…..oh, I repeated myself which was so complained
    about in Mortdecai. Repetition of a line within comedy is THE point to
    propel the script upward and continue the joke….

    If you MUST see a comedy, think of 1) having a few laughs with some
    good friends before dinner. 2) Remember, you will NOT see an academy
    award winner! 3)It’s only for entertainment. 4)Lighten up your attitude
    BEFORE you see it. 5) Never expect a comedy to show off an actor’s
    DRAMATIC side. 6) Most likely, it will not have a point nor any social
    redeeming value! 7)Go with the hope it will put you in a better mood
    than you came with. 8)It’s there to liberate you for 2 hrs from your
    stressful life. 9) DON’T GO.

    ”Mortdecai” was so refreshing to see normally dramatic/action actors
    take a break and have fun. While the script was not perfect, the actors
    melded together to make a wonderfully entertaining experience. Johnny
    Depp was over the top perfect for the part…with his ”bad” acting as
    so many complained about, did not understand, that his exaggerated
    movements and style and obsession with his mustache WAS THE ENTIRE
    COMEDY OF THE MOVIE. Gees! Its pitiful you did not get that. One of the
    best Depp scenes you only saw his back as he reacts to the MI6
    detective. The movie was written to be goofy. Its beyond me how you
    could not enjoy watching and laughing at the interaction between Depp
    and McGregor and Depp and Bettany. If you didn’t find it funny, DON’T
    GO!

  • rochellefrydrychNovember 23, 2015Reply

    Mortdecai

    As a Canadian who remembers Terry Thomas and the ”Carry On” gang of
    movies, I found this very funny. The acting was very well done, with a
    stellar cast, each role contributing to the fun. The pop cultural
    references were fast and furious. There were so many lines in there
    that we missed because we were laughing so loudly.! I think we will
    watch this again to get more out of it. It is slightly long but I can’t
    image what could be left out.

    It is just a lark without being crude. How refreshing is that? I can’t
    understand the bad reviews and poor rating. Fortunately the cast
    persuaded us to give this movie a try and we are glad we did.

  • alindsay-alNovember 27, 2015Reply

    A bad comedy that encapsulates johnny depp

    This hasn’t really been the best year for comedies and mortdecai
    continues the tradition for a poor attempt. The premise sees an
    eccentric art dealer hired by mi5 to find an ancient painting that
    might have ties to nazi gold. Now johnny depp plays mortdecai in this
    film and he is pretty good, I thought at times when he was reacting to
    things that he was funny. However, I am disappointed that he is
    basically British jack sparrow and it annoys be that depp who can act
    has become put into a box. That is why I am looking forward to seeing
    black mass and whether he has the capability to deliver a great
    performance again. Ewan mcgregor plays the mi5 agent in this film and
    he was good delivering a pretty charismatic and funny performance. But
    the best performance in this film was easily paul bettany as jock, he
    was hilarious. He had great chemistry with depp and always had me
    laughing. Unfortunately, I didn’t really like gwyneth paltrows
    character in this film and I felt like she was overacting allot to get
    her British accent across. At times she feels pretty irrelevant to the
    story. The story is really all over the place, mortedcai has problems
    with everybody it seems like and you really lose track of why you
    should care. The script actually has some funny moments that were good.
    But the film re tracks allot of the jokes and ends up using them till
    they get dull. The style of the film is jarring, the action scenes
    aren’t fun at all and the setting of the film just felt off to me for
    most of the film. Overall this is a poor film that doesn’t do its job
    very well.

  • Thomas ([email protected])December 2, 2015Reply

    Koepp and Depp tried their best

    *** This review may contain spoilers ***

  • James HDecember 7, 2015Reply

    8.3 rounded down to 8!

    Pleasantly surprised. I’d expected a bumbling fool a la The Pink
    Panther because of the brief TV spot I saw but in my humble opinion
    this guy’s much funnier to spend time with – he’s not a complete
    idiot… just.. different. I never knew there could be so much comedy
    in ‘elitism’. I don’t know why but I found his interactions with
    everyone hilarious, especially the way he looks down his nose at those
    he finds ‘beneath’ him. Johnny Depp plays it perfectly. Great turns
    from the supporting actors too – Gwyneth, Paul Bettany, Ewan McGregor.
    I found it all pretty infectious and not corny at all (save for a
    couple of unfortunate moments). It’s a very silly movie, definitely,
    but I have no problem watching a silly movie if it’s a good one. Won’t
    be to everyone’s tastes but, what can I say, I thought it was a bit of
    fun!

  • James HDecember 12, 2015Reply

    8.3 rounded down to 8!

    Pleasantly surprised. I’d expected a bumbling fool a la The Pink
    Panther because of the brief TV spot I saw but in my humble opinion
    this guy’s much funnier to spend time with – he’s not a complete
    idiot… just.. different. I never knew there could be so much comedy
    in ‘elitism’. I don’t know why but I found his interactions with
    everyone hilarious, especially the way he looks down his nose at those
    he finds ‘beneath’ him. Johnny Depp plays it perfectly. Great turns
    from the supporting actors too – Gwyneth, Paul Bettany, Ewan McGregor.
    I found it all pretty infectious and not corny at all (save for a
    couple of unfortunate moments). It’s a very silly movie, definitely,
    but I have no problem watching a silly movie if it’s a good one. Won’t
    be to everyone’s tastes but, what can I say, I thought it was a bit of
    fun!

  • sol-December 21, 2015Reply

    Stolen art and a moustache

    Channeling Terry-Thomas with all the appropriate vocal mannerisms and a
    gap in his teeth to match, Johnny Depp gives an energetic performance
    here as an art dealer called on by the police to track down a stolen
    painting. The film was poorly received upon initial release, but
    audience expectations are no doubt partially responsible for that. The
    film is, after all, never quite as funny as the filmmakers seem to
    think it is with a running gag involving Depp’s moustache freaking
    everyone out falling particularly flat. The plot is also a little too
    complex for such a lighthearted film with some murky business involving
    secret codes in the stolen painting and Nazi gold, and the love
    triangle between the three main characters is dull. The film is fairly
    well acted all round though and if never quite laugh-out-loud funny,
    there is a lot of humour to be found in Depp’s contempt for the United
    States on a trip to Los Angeles as well as Paul Bettany’s constant
    calmness as Depp’s hardly refined manservant. Jeff Goldblum is also
    always a pleasure to have on hand, though he sadly does not show up for
    an hour here and then disappears soon afterwards. Something interesting
    to discover is that the novel that the film is adapted from was written
    in the 1970s; it is quite possible that its film treatment may have
    benefited from retaining the same decade. The main character, after
    all, often seems like an anachronism with his traditional, proper
    gentleman-like demeanor. At times this is funny in itself, but at other
    times it is hard to wonder what may have been here with a few tweaks
    and changes.

  • jatigre1December 31, 2015Reply

    Please let there be a sequel!

    I usually only write a review when a movie gets an undeserved rate and
    needs a very deserved attention.

    Leave it to Johnny Depp to make the British look good. Trust me, I
    lived in London for over a decade and when it comes to movies… Its
    kinda… difficult. The British are very good at being creepy (hence
    they will always make the best villains) but funny is another matter
    entirely. Don’t get me wrong! I love the British and everything they
    have to offer, but in terms of movies its better to ”live it to the
    Americans” as they say.

    Now, on to the movie! I get it why people ”didn’t get it”, but once you
    actually pay attention and watch it you’re gonna realize that this is
    by far the best comedy of 2015, hands down. You are however required to
    have a certain ”level of sophistication” to fully appreciate it. Enjoy
    it!

  • SnoopyStyleJanuary 10, 2016Reply

    wacky for wacky’s sake

    Mortdecai (Johnny Depp) is a corrupt art dealer. His wife Johanna
    (Gwyneth Paltrow) is not happy with his new mustache and their
    impending insolvency. Jock (Paul Bettany) is his manservant and thug.
    When an art restorer is killed and a Goya is stolen, Mi5 Inspector
    Alistair Martland (Ewan McGregor) uses his old acquaintance Mortdecai.
    Alistair has a crush on Johanna but she was taken by Mortdecai back in
    their college days. Nazi chief Goering had supposedly written down
    secret Swiss bank account on the back of the middling Goya painting.

    I’ve got to be honest. I laughed at the stupidity of it all for the
    first fifteen minutes. However it just doesn’t work in the long term. I
    think this might work more if it gets stupider and more spoof-like. The
    jokes aren’t sharp enough. Depp is flailing away and sometimes he hits
    on something. I love his insult to a henchman. ”Your mother and father
    only met once. And money changed hands.” But there isn’t enough good
    stuff to be truly funny and it mostly falls flat. The harder Depp tries
    and fails, the sadder the movie gets.

  • rjsf96January 10, 2016Reply

    A Trifle Meandering I Dare Say!

    ”It’s all silly. It’s all very silly” as John Du Pont in Foxcatcher
    would say. Which of course is the point of it all. It is a parody and
    Mortdecai is certainly an acquired taste. It’s all too dependent though
    on whether you find this film to be in good or poor taste. Where do I
    stand on Mortdecai? Somewhere in the middle of good and bad.

    What’s the meat of Mortdecai though? Sadly, nothing substantial.
    Mortdecai is played by a befuddling Johnny Depp; whom I can’t work out
    whether his performance in the film is a work of pure genius or utter
    idiocy. He’s as confused as his character and that’s not because he
    jumps into the role. It rather took me out of the moment.

    Mortdecai is commissioned by Detective Martland, Ewan McGregor on
    finest form as ever, to retrieve a stolen painting. One that is
    rumoured to have a code on it which will lead the person who acquires
    it to a horde of Nazi gold. There are laughs to be had with Mortdecai
    though and to spend a couple of hours with it is not a waste of time.
    But others will undoubtedly find the film patience testing at best. For
    every laugh to be had with or at Mortdecai’s expense, five others fail
    to hit the mark. One out of six isn’t a good ratio. Still Gwyneth
    Paltrow who plays Johanna is a delight to watch as she pushes Mortdecai
    away, no matter how many times he tries to have his way with her. She
    is after all a lady!

    There’s no shortage of hilarious supporting characters and bit players.
    Like sex addict Jock (Paul Bettany), cock tease Georgina (a stunningly
    pretty Olivia Munn) and Jeff Goldblum whom automatically makes
    whichever film he is starring in better by 12.5%! Yay!

    Despite various laughs scattered throughout, Mortdecai just doesn’t in
    the end hold its own, neither as a spy nor parody film. I almost fell
    in love with Mortdecai but just like Johanna after all the advances; I
    had had enough and managed to push him away. If you’re not as forgiving
    as me, then I wouldn’t touch this one with a twenty, no, forty, nope,
    sixty foot pole.

    C

  • RicktingJanuary 10, 2016Reply

    Mortifying

    Johnny Depp has become something of a joke recently. All he does in don
    loads of make up and give insufferable performances. Mortdecai, one of
    the terrible January movies we see every year, shows him finally
    reaching the bottom of the barrel. He finally becomes so unbearable
    that anyone watching will think longingly of smashing their head
    repeatedly against a brick wall instead of sitting through Mortdecai,
    and Depp’s wonderful performance in the first Pirates of the Caribbean
    film is Captain Jack Sparrow, which basically set off the entire trend
    of over the top Johnny Depp performances, looks like Jar Jar Binks in
    retrospect. 2015 was not a great year for films but I’ve so far avoided
    most of the bad ones. This is easily the worst movie from 2015 I’ve
    seen. This one was pretty nasty. A strange and murderously unfunny
    movie about an annoying art thief trying to find some lost gold, the
    film’s chief problem is this: it’s so pathetically silly and strange it
    feels like one for little kids, but since it’s actually fairly adult
    and even got an R rating in America, it’ll appeal to no-one.

    This is an embarrassment for all the actors involved. The only one who
    escapes unscathed is Paul Bettany as Jock, Mortdecai’s manservant, who
    is once again the best thing in a weak Johnny Depp picture
    (Transcendence was the other one). Admittedly some of the action
    sequences are diverting and the finale is actually reasonable tense.
    There are also some good moments of visual style, especially in the
    animated map sequences. Still, this is more or less a one star film
    yes, it’s definitely worse than Fifty Shades of Grey. Mortdecai is not
    remotely funny and every one of its jokes falls flat. The film’s
    determination to be so strange and annoying is mystifying and it’s easy
    to see why this bombed at the box office. Looking on the bright side,
    this is easily the most cringe-worthy film I watched for the first time
    in 2015 (I saw almost 100 new films in 2015) so it beat 95 other films
    for sheer cringe-worthiness. Well, that’s something I guess and aside
    from some Razzies, it’ll be the only thing this monstrosity will ever
    achieve.

    3/10

  • kenpfeifferFebruary 11, 2016Reply

    they said i wouldn’t like it…

    after all the horrid reviews, i expected to be thoroughly nauseated by
    this offering. well, i’m guessing that all the reviewers were simply
    having a bad week, because, while not brilliant comedy, mortdecai was
    an enjoyable mindless romp with some familiar faces added to the mix.
    depp could have easily played mortdecai as creepy, but pulls off a
    likability for an oddball. paul bettany is a wonder as mortdecai’s
    manservant cum bodyguard; i wish i saw bettany in more movies. paltrow,
    who has the unfortunate ability to annoy, is actually coolly attractive
    in her role. and the movie’s stylized cinematography gives it a
    perkiness’ it is pleasing to the eye.

    i liken this movie to another that the critics told me i should hate,
    the infamous hudson hawk. mortdecai is definitely worth your time.

  • Sam FischerFebruary 25, 2016Reply

    Johnny Saved a Bad Movie

    Johnny Depp is just amazing isn’t he? He tried to go back to a quirky
    comedy, but this just isn’t up to his usual standards. Mortdecai is
    poorly written, poorly acted, and doesn’t flow well at all.

    The other actors and actresses were trying to match the weirdness of
    this movie, but they just didn’t quite get it. Paltrow was especially
    bad. I’m not really sure why she was even in Mortdecai. Her lines
    missed and she didn’t match the mood. Paul Bettany was funny at times
    but was just awkward for most of the movie.

    Johnny Depp was really the only reason I kept invested in Mortdecai. He
    really gets into this role to the extreme with an over the top
    portrayal. He does his typical ”Johnny Depp” signatures. He delivers
    his jokes perfectly with his fantastic facial expressions and body
    language. He really is made for a movie like this. it is just too bad
    that the rest of it wasn’t up to par.

    This is by no means a great movie, but it doesn’t deserve quite as bad
    of reviews that it has gotten. You will laugh, especially at Depp. He
    is extremely funny and he himself is a reason to give Mortdecai a
    chance. If you want some simple laughs and a movie you don’t have to
    think too much about, give Mortdecai a chance, 6/10.

  • Fay GkotziaFebruary 28, 2016Reply

    Average and not funny

    I couldn’t believe that such an actor like Johnny Depp who is excellent
    at playing extravagant characters would be so boring in a movie I
    really had big expectations for laugh and story rolling. The picture
    was interesting but the couple chemistry was not obvious. It didn’t
    have a catching moment. Gwyneth Paltrow was OK but the storyline could
    be much better and more intriguing. Ewan Mc Gregor was the most
    memorable character of the film although again nothing great or
    hilarious. In my opinion, they were all actors wasted in a bad
    screenplay, which didn’t take advantage of their personal besties and
    had a medium result.

  • bregundMarch 12, 2016Reply

    Not a bad film, just a very boring one

    *** This review may contain spoilers ***

  • ja-160March 19, 2016Reply

    Really enjoyable movie

    I don’t understand the low rating for this movie. I really enjoyed it
    and there were several laugh out loud moments. I’m like a few other
    reviewers who wonder if we’re talking about the same movie as some of
    the people who voted it so low. Depp is very consistent in the roll and
    does a very good job, as do the other actors. There wasn’t anyone who
    didn’t perform well in my opinion. I found it to be an enjoyable ride
    and am still surprised at the low rating on here. I wonder what people
    are expecting from a film like this, but I consider it a success if it
    keeps me entertained for a couple hours, makes me laugh, and I’m not
    looking at the clock to see how much longer it’s going to go.

  • jlkbbkMarch 20, 2016Reply

    Mildly entertaining

    *** This review may contain spoilers ***

  • blanche-2March 26, 2016Reply

    silly fun

    Johnny Depp hands in a hilarious performance in ”Mortdecai,” from 2015,
    also starring Gwyneth Paltrow and Ewan McGregor.

    Mortdecai (Depp) is an art dealer looking for a stolen painting rumored
    to have a code on the back that leads to a lost bank account of Nazi
    gold.

    He’s not alone in his quest — everyone else is after it, too, a
    terrorist, MI5, all kinds of people.

    Mortdecai is also having trouble at home. His wife (Paltrow) won’t have
    anything to do with him now that he has a mustache.

    I didn’t read any other reviews — but from what I gather, this is too
    low-brow for some viewers. I think you have to take these films for
    what they are and not compare them to Citizen Kane.

    This was very funny, with a particularly good performance by Depp, an
    absolute riot with his British accent and lofty proclamations —
    ”Shellfish at a catered affair? Are you insane?” ”Your mother and
    father only knew each other for a day, and money changed hands. Less
    than a 20.” ”I will have you know that I am not an alcoholic. I am a
    drunk, and there is a vast difference.”

    Depp really makes the movie. There is an amusing appearance by Jeff
    Goldblum as well. Gwyneth Paltrow is very glamorous and British as
    Mortdecai’s wife; and Ewan McGregor is very handsome as Martland, also
    after the painting and Paltrow.

    Extremely enjoyable, especially if you’re not up for anything too deep
    or heavy.

  • trumanbforuApril 3, 2016Reply

    Don’t know!

    Reasons why this movie is not Truman approved : • Gwenyth Paltrow’s
    contrived @**, throaty~ country( belle of the ball) bitty accent •Plot
    made no sense •slapstick at best humor •gibberish jester with a cattail
    mustache •too many cooks in the kitchen •terrorist was not convincing.
    •too many eggs in one basket I don’t recommend it! this was not Jonny
    Depp’s best role! Maybe he has hit rock bottom? Will we ever find out?
    Egad!!! Groovy neat I mean how can someone conjure such a flop? When
    will these actors know they are under sonic pressure mind control?
    There is no way some one would willingly agree to take part in such a
    monstrosity!

    Love, Truman b

  • The CouchpotatoesApril 8, 2016Reply

    One of the better movies starring Johnny Depp

    I do understand that people don’t have the same taste of movies etc.
    It’s everyone’s right to have a different opinion about anything. For
    me it is simple, the people that didn’t like this movie are just people
    I try to avoid because of their lack of humor and taste. And they will
    probably try to avoid me as well. That’s just how it is. Some people
    just don’t have any good taste. To me giving Mortdecai a bad review is
    just ridiculous. I really enjoyed the posh sophisticated language of
    Mortdecai. I thought it was very funny. Johnny Depp was just the
    perfect actor for this role. He’s just outstanding playing Mortdecai.
    The action might be a little bit over the top but that is just the only
    bad thing about this movie. And it’s not even that bad. The whole cast
    was just perfect in this movie. To me Mortdecai is one of the better
    movies I saw this month, and I watch a lot of movies. I just feel sorry
    for people with no sense of humor, must be really boring living with
    them.

  • susan-317April 29, 2016Reply

    Johnny Depp as Terry Thomas

    I wasn’t sure what to expect and it took a few minutes for me to get
    into the pacing of this movie. It’s a sort of 60s throw-back with Depp
    in a Terry Thomas / Peter Sellers kind of role. He’s a wealthy noble of
    some sort with the beautiful Gwyneth Paltrow as his beloved wife.

    He is on the trail of a missing Goya, along with his trusty man-
    servant, played by Paul Bettany who performs most of the physical
    comedy in this picture.

    Ewan McGregor plays a police detective on the case who has been in love
    with Gwyneth’s character since university.

    All the characters chase others or get chased in a sort of Pink
    Pantheresque manner and I was soon laughing.

    There were lots of jokes about mustaches which just got funnier as the
    movie progressed.

    Enjoy! It was fun!

  • Modulo mMay 7, 2016Reply

    Didn’t work for me.

    This movie makes it appear that the actors in it can’t carry a scene
    for longer than 2 seconds. The script just doesn’t work or the actors
    just don’t get it or something just isn’t coming across the screen. It
    hit all the wrong notes for me though there were a handful of funny
    moments. For the most part the crass jokes were just crass and the
    weird jokes were just weird. The movie was very wordy and the humor, if
    there really was any, just drowned in those words. Too often it was
    like sitting in an uncomfortable silence and the movie was trying to
    fill that silence with terrible desperation. It just failed to live up
    to any expectations that I had for it.

  • mthuffMay 7, 2016Reply

    Toe curling awful film

    This script should have been taken out and shot. Right between its’
    eyes. Painfully bad, even otherwise capable actors and actresses can’t
    lift this from the mire. About as funny as an urethral lavage, though
    given the alternatives of watching this again, or aforesaid procedure,
    ”bring on the saline!” I say! Avoid with most extreme prejudice!

    Quite the most abysmally poor film I’ve seen in 30 years, and far far
    beneath the usual standards of Depp, Paltrow, McGregor and Bettany, for
    whom I have the deepest sympathy at their suffering. I fear the
    sentiment that ”no actors were harmed in the making of this movie” is
    manifestly untrue.

  • Intelligent ReviewingMay 18, 2016Reply

    Johnny Depp does Terry Thomas takeoff

    *** This review may contain spoilers ***

  • tree1957June 21, 2016Reply

    really funny!

    i’ve read a few reviews and definitely side with the group who likes
    this movie. i will probably watch it again and again, appreciating it
    more each time. but then, i like slapstick humor. Pee Wee’s Big
    Adventure is one of my favorite movies, and Road Trip, and several
    other silly movies that i can’t think of right now. Depp is fabulous,
    and i have never liked Gweneth Paltrow better, didn’t really like her
    role in Emma. in this movie she plays the bored, spoiled woman very
    well. someone compared Mortdecai to an Austin Powers movie, but i think
    it is much better!

    in particular, the way he talks about his mustache being a baby, and
    that he is ‘invested’ in it, is priceless. the sympathetic gag reflex
    isn’t quite as good. i would give Road Trip and Pee Wee’s Adventure
    both a 10, because essentially every moment in both of them is
    hilarious. this movie, however, gets an 8 from me because most of it is
    hilarious, and a bit of it is tedious.

  • infoalwaysacriticJuly 31, 2016Reply

    An Absurd Spoof that isn’t for Everyone

    Despite playing the incompetent master with a capable sidekick routine,
    a shtick that hasn’t really been that successful in recent times,
    Johnny Depp has managed to wonder and confuse with Mortdecai. A comedy,
    set around a rogue with a confusing set of skills and child-like
    immaturity, Mortdecai’s humour will either delight you for the most
    part, or fall completely flat on its face.

    Fans of Peter Sellers will immediately connect to the film’s
    similarities to the pink panther series, as well as the unusual accent
    that obscures much of the dialogue from being quite genuine. Therein
    lies the shtick; the not-quite-authentic English snobbery caricatured
    in Depp’s dripping accent and inability to abide such things as regular
    folk might endure in life. Likewise, there are jabs taken at American
    culture when Mortdecai visits Los Angeles and remarks that he thinks he
    has awakened on the set of a pornographic film.

    Although loaded with sexual innuendo and comments of sexual
    frustration, sexual infidelity and sexual impotence, it is within the
    context of marriage. A higher moral ground is applied to the sexual
    promiscuity of Jock, the manservant that ”every man needs” when
    Mortdecai is continually appalled by the man’s numerous and
    inexplicable lovers.

    Mortdecai’s central conflict is to rescue his wife from his financial
    ruin, and in the process does what many men do when feeling impotent or
    emasculated, in attempting to assert his own sense of power over the
    only thing he can truly control – his own body. Thus he grows himself a
    moustache he can be proud of, contrary to his wife’s wishes. The film
    does a wonderful job of knitting this marriage conflict and frustration
    together with a British art mystery that, for the right audience, will
    make you laugh when Mortdecai’s sympathetic gag reflex is triggered at
    the most inopportune times.

  • dromascaAugust 2, 2016Reply

    two wonderful actors looking for a better film

    Sometimes I am wondering what do these actors think, or maybe better
    said what do their agents think. Johnny Depp and Gwyneth Paltrow are
    two of the most gifted actors of their generation, blessed not only by
    success and awards, but also by a touch of genius that made some of
    their previous roles unforgettable. Yet, they seem to have taken in the
    last ten years or so all the possible bad decisions. They are however
    still young, beautiful and charismatic and here is in Mortdecai an
    opportunity to amplify their talent and power. An opportunity they
    missed.

    Mortdecai is a crime comedy that the British film-maker should know how
    to make enjoyable and successful even when they make the film at
    Hollywood. The very idea of the aristocratic art expert and dealer
    traveling the world to recover a stolen painting that heeds the secrets
    of the Nazi gold is as good as any other incredible pretext. The
    problem is not in the story but in the lousy story telling style that
    makes heavy use of off-screen voices to fill in the many gaps, and in
    the fact that jokes seldom exceed the level of the national or classes
    stereotypes double by some ‘Laurel and Hardy’ gags. As we are in the
    21st century the effect is minimal.

    Quite a pity I would say. The two actors deserve better films, together
    and separate. So do we, their faithful fans.

  • marlaswiftAugust 6, 2016Reply

    Mortdecai

    I, like other reviewers, don’t understand why Mortdecai was panned by
    critics. My 90 year old mother and I loved this movie and mum had tears
    in her eyes from laughing.

    In her professional life my mum was an actor and she commented on the
    great acting from Johnny Depp, Gwyneth Paltrow and the rest of the
    team.

    This is a light hearted and tongue in cheek new look at time honoured
    goodies and baddies (mostly bad)!!

    Don’t listen to the critics, they often get it quite wrong. Enjoy the
    fabulous acting and hilarious scenes in this extremely clever and laugh
    out loud film.

  • Screen_BlitzAugust 24, 2016Reply

    Exasperatingly unfunny parody of retro spy flicks leads little to be desired

    Johnny Depp has made a big name of himself in Hollywood since the debut
    of his career in the mid 80s, and as time goes on we learn to accept
    that even the biggest stars in Hollywood reach an all-time low in their
    career. This greatly describes Johnny Depp’s role in this sorely inept
    caper comedy that sees Depp in a zany role that is supposed to be funny
    and charming in every sense, but is instead so exasperating and goofy
    it feels like a chore to sit through. Playing as a parody to old spy
    movies such as the early James Bond entries, this movie delivers us an
    adventure full of tiresome gags and lifeless slapstick, most of which
    fall so low on the level of maturity, it leaves you questioning not
    only whether or not director David Koepp is aware to the target age
    demographic he’s aiming for (even if the profanity and occasional sex
    jokes warrant it’s R-rating), but why Johnny Depp would take on such a
    slipshod role like this. Johnny Depp plays titular character Charlie
    Mortdecai, a British aristocrat and part-time spy living with his sexy
    wife Johanna (played by Gwyneth Paltrow) who’s a constant target for
    affections of Mi5 agent Martland (played by Ewen McGregor). When a
    priceless painting by artist Francesco Goya is stolen and rumored to
    possess a secret code that leads to Nazi gold, Mortdecai along with his
    servant Fang Jock (played by Paul Bettany) is tasked on a
    globe-trotting mission to receive the precious artwork.

    Sure, the concept of this film is strange, even on paper. But it
    doesn’t defeat the potential that the idea could have worked. There are
    some spy action parodies in the past that managed to spoof the spy
    genre effectively and with wittiness (Kingsman for example), but this
    one suffers from an execution so inept that chances are you find
    yourself checking your watch more often than not (at least I did). The
    film spends a lengthy time progressing through a plot that quickly
    grows uninteresting before it reaches the one-hour mark. For the
    majority of the time, the story seems more focused on setting up scenes
    for a silly gag which would much less of a problem, if they were
    actually funny. Instead, you are forced sit through a series of
    gross-out gags and sex jokes that are either clichéd or just flat out
    annoying. The characters are so dim-witted and lack competence,
    especially Johnny Depp who plays the main character and thus, supposed
    to be the funny one. And you know you’re in trouble when Paul Bettany
    is the only one managing to bring out just few laughs while everyone is
    just sitting by letting him steal the show. Johnny Depp is ridiculously
    unfunny in his role, and leaves you questioning ”What were you
    thinking?”. Gwyneth Paltrow and Ewen McGregor on other hand, are simply
    given nothing to do other than appear on screen and look sharp. If
    there is any redeeming quality to be found here, it would certainly be
    the visually sleek touch on Great Britain, giving a stylish, zany look
    that pay good homages to the old Bond movies. It’s nice to look at, but
    it far from saves this movie from the snooze fest it is.

    Mortdecai marks an all-time low for Johnny Depp and perhaps the
    supporting cast as well. This movie is a vexing comedic fare with a
    scarcity of laughs and obnoxious performances by an otherwise likable
    cast. Even if you are one of those easily amused individuals, this
    comedy is one I really couldn’t recommend. In the end, you are only
    with relief that this movie didn’t ruin Johnny Depp’s career, or anyone
    else’s.

  • Eddie CantilloSeptember 8, 2016Reply

    Mortdecai Review

    Mortdecai (2015) Starring: Johnny Depp, Gwyneth Paltrow, Ewan McGregor,
    Olivia Munn, Jeff Goldblum, Paul Bettany, Johnathan Pasvolsky, Michael
    Culkin, Ulrich Thomsen, Alec Utgoff Directed By:David Koepp Review Okay
    first of all this movie is rated R and I have no freaking clue as to
    why, but who is this movie for I mean it bombed at the box office. It’s
    about Johnny Depp is playing yet another eccentric strange person
    (shocker) and he’s some art guy,he’s super rich but he owes so much
    money in taxes then Ewan McGregor hires him to find this stolen
    painting and there working together and his wife is played by Gwynteth
    Paltrow and theirs some love triangle between the three even though its
    not really. She won’t kiss her husband because of some stupid mustache
    gag that plagues the movie. Johnny Depp bombs every line he tries
    because he’s not likable the characters are not likable which leads to
    bad performances from just about everyone who for some reason is in
    this thing. I mean I miss the good old Johnny Depp but his films are
    becoming a bit pretentious lately and horrible just really horrible, I
    mean come on man.I mean it gets worse every time he’s playing these
    eccentric strange people. I have no idea what Ewan McGregor is doing
    here I mean the guy is such a talent and in this he’s just not funny.
    Paul Bettany plays Mortdeci’s servant and all he does is be like ”yes
    sir, I’m fine sir, you shot me sir.” it’s really annoying. Gwyneth
    Paltrow and Olivia Munn yeah their fun to look at but I have to say
    their wasted and I did not find them funny or enjoyable. This movie
    just sucks balls, it’s already a little worse for me then Taken 3 and
    Blackhat which I also hated and this film can just be flushed down the
    toilet. I’m giving Mortdeci a half out of five.

  • fil_lifSeptember 14, 2016Reply

    Bad

    This is a bad film.

    I’m 40 minutes into this film, and I know it is bad already, but I will
    persevere in hope. Nonetheless:

    The acting is bad; The accents are bad; The characters are bad; The
    plot is bad; The direction is bad; The screen writing is bad; The
    comedy is bad; The drama is bad; The cinematography is bad; The editing
    is bad; The wasted acting talent is bad; The formulaic progression is
    bad; The twists are bad; The stunts are bad; The effects are bad; The
    soundtrack is bad; The lack of any redeeming feature is bad.

    Mortdecai is not a smooth criminal, he’s bad.

  • KirpianuscusSeptember 18, 2016Reply

    piece from a puzzle

    a film who must see. against the bad reviews. for its cast. for its
    British humor. or only for John Depp work. because it is one of films
    who has the chance to have a fast verdict like waste of time, crap or
    ridiculous. but the first verdict is always unfair. because Mortdecai
    has a delightful collection of clichés, fine irony and seductive smart
    solutions in the perfect package. it reminds. and it has the chance to
    use the right actors. so, a film like a piece of puzzle. it has its
    place. or public. and , if the story remains stupid at the end of film,
    for a Romanian remains a last solution. to enjoy about the
    signification of the name of the lead character in his language.

  • Dillon HarrisOctober 5, 2016Reply

    Flamboyant Fun and that’s all it needs to Be,

    Mortdecai is a good movie with a well written plot and a terrific
    comedic cast. The chemistry between the cast members is without a doubt
    what makes it so enjoyable for me. Johnny Depp, Paul Bettany, Gwyneth
    Paltrow and Ewan McGregor all have great individual chemistry with one
    another, I particularly liked how Depp and Bettany played off each
    other. They all fit in to this universe very naturally and effectively.

    The humour did have its weaknesses, it had far too many running gags
    that it kept going back to, despite not being all that funny in the
    first place. Particularly the constant jokes about Mortdecai’s
    moustache were quite repetitive.

    The characters are also underdeveloped, we learn significantly little
    about them prior to their adventure beginning. I definitely would like
    to have learned more about Mortdecai and Johanna’s marriage, as well as
    Jock’s personal life.

    It aims to be a very different, unique comedy, it’s style and pacing is
    not typical, while many people will not agree with me, I thought it
    achieved this. While it is flawed, Mortdecai is great fun and worth the
    watch if you are looking for a good comedy, just do not go out pf your
    way to see it.

    An art dealer rushes to find a valuable painting before it gets in to
    the wrong hands.

    Best Performance: Johnny Depp / Worst Performance: Olivia Munn

  • imdb-45October 17, 2016Reply

    As horrible as Gwyneth’s British Accent

    Wow… all that came to mind was WTF???? It’s that terrible.

    I love Depp, even his more unusual off the beaten path films. The cast
    is stellar with top names that practically guarantee that the film has
    to be watchable. I get the humor, the genre and what it is supposed to
    be. It’s just not funny. At all. With very few good moments and a
    performance by Paul Bettany that is amusing enough to save the film
    from a rock bottom 1, this dud is a career ending dagger.

    A painting is stolen and Mortdecai, a millionaire art dealer swindler
    who is also friends of the police chief, is asked to help investigate
    in exchange for the Crown not prosecuting debts it holds from our
    protagonist. Mortdecai is fond of his ridiculous moustache, hated by
    his wife (Paltrow) who is lusted after by the police detective
    (McGregor). And the superhero butler who is always there to save the
    day is Jock, played by Bettany, who is also the satisfier of women
    everywhere.

    The film is way over the top humor. This is not anything close to
    Kingsmen – it’s way, way over the top, caricatures of the usual
    players. Stupid stuff that is clearly beyond any reality, such as
    tailing kidnappers on a plane by holding onto the exterior of the plane
    for the entire trip – hahahaha! Isn’t that funny!!! Cue in the zany
    British synth music and boy it’s such a laugh.

    Depp pulls off his accent for the most part although he loses it at
    times. Gwyneth Paltrow is unwatachable. Her terrible British accent has
    been legendary in past films such as Sliding Doors and Shakespeare in
    Love. Listening to it is torture and you don’t have to be a Brit to
    wish the film was silent.

    The story itself is pretty stupid and irrelevant as it is just a way of
    allowing Depp to do his painfully unfunny, self centered and unlikable
    character. Everyone is searching for the painting that has disappeared,
    including a bunch of Russian gangsters. Unless you’re one of the few
    who liked this pile of unfunny trash, have another film as a backup
    because your company may just wish to turn this off early on. Unless
    you have eve a clue about British humor, you’re going to wish you
    weren’t curious enough to watch this heaping pile of stupidity.

  • jtindahouseDecember 4, 2016Reply

    Unbelievably poor film with no target audience

    The question I kept asking myself as I watched ‘Mortdecai’ was who
    exactly was this film made for? It can’t have been made for adults, the
    humour is far too childish and lame to be appreciated by anyone over
    the age of 10. However, it also couldn’t have been made for anyone that
    young, because the story is far too convoluted and full of itself to
    ever be appreciated by anyone of that age. I believe this is the main
    problem when it comes to the complete box office failure that was this
    film. It appeals to no one. I’m a huge Johnny Depp fan and I could
    quite happily have never seen this film. I could tell from the very
    first trailer I ever saw that it was going to be terrible. Turns out I
    was right.

    The days of lame humour being passable are thankfully over.
    Unfortunately, no one told that to these film makers. Today’s audiences
    are too desensitised and impatient for comedies where the main gag is a
    funny accent or an unappreciated mustache. Even kids movies are evolved
    past that point. That’s not to say every comedy has to be full of
    vulgar language and be riddled with gratuitous violence. It simply has
    to have some edge, some intelligence and some originality to it. It’s
    also becoming hard for films that don’t have their actors improvising.
    This felt like a film where every line was quoted directly from the
    script. It’s hard to get away with that in this modern world of comedy.

    So the comedy side of things didn’t work, how about the story and the
    action? Sadly, they don’t either. The story is ridiculously bland and
    seems to think it’s smarter than it is. The one thing I was looking
    forward to going into this film was the element of mystery which I had
    seen tagged in the genre section of its IMDb page. I thought if nothing
    else I can have fun trying to guess that side of things. Even that
    wasn’t to be though. The story was a mess. Then there were the
    unbelievably poor action scenes. Twice a car chase started up and I
    thought to myself here we go, a little action finally. However, the car
    chase turned out to be just two cars driving. There was zero creativity
    in them. No near misses, no crashes, just us listening to the
    characters talk while they happen to be involved in a chase. What
    exactly did they spend their rather large budget on for this film?

    The only thing really holding the whole thing together, if you could
    even say that he did that, was Depp. Even though his character was
    boring and had no good dialogue to work with, he still somehow managed
    to create charisma. He seems to be really struggling of late to find
    films that he can shine in, and it’s sad because I maintain that he’s
    one of the finest actors in Hollywood. Undoubtedly though, ‘Mortdecai’
    was a poor career choice on his part and one that I suspect he would
    like to erase from his C.V. Somehow, I suspect he doesn’t have to worry
    about being approached to do a sequel.

  • Prismark10December 16, 2016Reply

    No oil painting

    Offbeat screwball international caper comedy like Mortdecai can be hit
    and miss. If they are so full of themselves or smug like Hudson Hawk
    then they deserve the flak. Mortdecai in retrospect was surprisingly
    watchable.

    Lord Charlie Mortdecai (Johnny Depp) is a shady art dealer and swindler
    in debt to the taxman. Assisted with his sex maniac manservant Jock
    (Paul Bettany) they get into all sorts of scrapes. However with money
    problems he needs to sell one of his paintings and growing a moustache
    does not make him popular with his wife Johanna (Gwyneth Paltrow.)

    He is requested by Inspector Martland (Ewan Mcgregor) to recover a
    painting by Goya that has become the target of theft by a well known
    terrorist who has murdered an art restorer. This is a start to a search
    that takes Mortdecai to various countries as he is pursued by various
    bad guys with only Jock by his side as long he is not shot by
    Mortdecai. Meanwhile Martland comforts Johanna who had a thing with her
    during their college days.

    Both Paltrow and Depp practice their English accents again, Bettany
    meanwhile does a more thuggish accent as the hard man. Hard to believe
    given the critical mauling this film got but I liked it. It moves along
    nicely, it raises a few smiles, you get a few brief cameos and it is no
    doubt silly but it kinds of knows it.

  • bensonmum2February 4, 2017Reply

    ”Kissing a man without a mustache is like eating an egg without salt.”

    *** This review may contain spoilers ***

  • OneEightNine MediaFebruary 4, 2017Reply

    No no no no. Just no.

    *** This review may contain spoilers ***

  • robertlauter25April 30, 2017Reply

    worth a look

    This movie isn’t memorable, but it was well made and funny. It’s
    basically just a character study, which is why people are complaining
    about it. If it is a character study about serious subjects critics
    rave and call it poignant. But often times if it’s a character study
    about a goofy person people bark and complain. It reminds me of Husdon
    Hawk in the late 80’s which got panned and attacked, but which I also
    liked. Both movies are worth seeing, neither are classic, but if every
    worth while movie was a classic, where would classics be?

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